Season 5 Episode 7

Resolved First Aired: 7/Nov/2010

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Kitty: Come on. Come on. Come on, people. I need some input. Should I get the one in the cart? Kevin: It's Marc Jacobs and it matches your eyes. What more do you want from a handbag? Sarah: Come on, come on. Click "shoes" while you're thinking. Kevin: No, you don't need shoes. Go to "area rugs." Sarah, Kitty: Area rugs? Kevin: Yeah. I'm sick of waking up to your dust bunnies. Sarah: Well, you could always move home, Kevin. You know, I spoke to, uh, Scotty yesterday. Kevin: Guys, I told you. I do not want you calling him. Sarah: I did not call him. Paige called him. Wh... She called him because she needs help. Remember? With her debating tournament. Kevin: Oh, my God. Kitty: Mm-hmm. Kevin: The debate. Kitty: Yeah. Kevin: We were supposed to help her practice today. Kitty: Yeah, Kevin. You can't let her down. She's just a kid. Sarah: She's just a kid. Kevin: Sarah, she's your kid. So why don't you help her? Sarah: Because she doesn't want my help. She wants your help because you're... you're a lawyer, and she wants Scotty's help with what she calls "the Debuttal." She clearly needs help. Kitty: Oh, damn, damn, damn! Kevin: What? Kitty: The... the bag sold out. Sarah: Oh, it does that sometimes. If you really want it, you just have to click, or it's gone. Kevin: What else did Scotty have to say? Sarah: Nothing, but he feels bad about things. I-I can tell. Kevin: I'm sorry. He feels bad? What about me? Kitty: Kev, Kev... Would you please settle down? We are all here for you. Kevin: You know what? I would like to see how fast Sarah would talk to Luc if he cheated. Sarah: Luc.... Kevin: It's mom. Sarah: Go for it Kevin: Okay, but no more talk of Scotty. Hi, mom. Nora: Kevin? I thought I called Kitty. Kevin: You are. Hang on. You're on speaker with me, the shopping twins, and Evan. Sarah, Kitty: Hi, mom. Nora: Well, it's after 10 o'clock in the morning. What are you guys doing there? Kitty: Oh, my God, mom. There is the most amazing sale online. Do you happen to need any accessories at all? Sarah: There are some incredible bargains to be found in the area of handbags right now. Kitty: Yeah. Nora: Online blowout sales? Is... is that what your lives have been reduced to? Sarah: What? Reduced? Nora: Don't forget about the photo shoot today. It's to publicize my show, "dear mom," surrounded with her loving daughters, so be here at 4. No later, no excuses. And, Kevin... You can't spend the rest of your life sleeping on your sister's sofa. I-I spoke with Scotty yesterday. Kevin: You, too? Why? Nora: I needed a recipe. Kevin: That is such... Nora: Ooh! I-it's my producer. Hang on. Kevin: At least you haven't spoken to Scotty. Evan: Hey. Kevin: Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? Kitty: Well, he called me, Kevin. He just wanted to make sure that you had enough blankets. Kevin: You know what? This isn't some little spat we're having. Okay? He was unfaithful to me. Nora: I'm back. And, Kevin, listen, honestly, I'm not trying to butt in. Kevin: Yes, you are. All of you are. Look, I know you want this to work, but that is up to me, okay? Kitty: Okay, okay. Sorry. Sarah: Okay, fine. I'm sorry. Kevin: I'm gonna go to work, and, yes, I will help Paige with her debate. Kitty: Well, you better. Sarah: Thank you. Nora: Is he gone? Sarah: Yeah. Kitty: Yes. Nora: All right, girls, tell me, on a scale from one to ten, what are the chances of them getting back together? Kitty: Six. Sarah: Five and a half. I'm the Russian judge. Nora: Oh, God. That's so depressing. Scotty: Hi. Kevin: Hi. Scotty: Um... y-you know Paige is coming over... Kevin: To prep for her debate tournament. I know. Scotty: She called me to make sure that I was g... Kevin: Here to help. Yeah, I know that, too. I also know you spoke with mom and Kitty. Scotty: Kevin... Kevin: Look, I'm feeling kind of weird about us both working with Paige today, so maybe you could find an excuse not to be here. Scotty: No. No, you can't stop me from helping my niece. I'm her uncle, too. Last time I checked, we're still married. Kevin: Maybe you should've thought of that before you cheated. Scotty: Yes, I should have. And if you can't see how much I regret that... Kevin: I don't want to get into this now. Scotty: Okay. Well, when do you? Because I don't know how many more times I can apologize or watch you come and go to your office, completely ignoring me. Kevin: Every time I look at you, I imagine what happened, and I can't forgive you. Scotty: We have to talk, Kevin. We have to find a way through this. Kevin: I don't know if there is a way through this. Scotty: Paige. Kevin: Hi. Paige: Hi. Kevin: So, uh, so what, did mom just drop you off and then leave? Paige: Uh, no, actually, uh, grandma took me. Kevin: Grandma? Paige: Yeah, she told my mom she wanted to see you guys. Kevin: Isn't it amazing how grandma always manages to find time for everything? Nora: Hi. Sorry. I couldn't... I couldn't find a place to park. Kevin: Hi. Scotty: Hi. Nora: Well, I hadn't seen you guys in quite some time, so I told Sarah that I would really love to bring Paige over. Kevin: We heard. Nora: Oh. She is really looking forward to the two of you helping her. Kevin: Well, something came up for Scotty, so... Paige: Oh, you mean you can't stay? Scotty: It... You know, it's okay. Kevin's really good at debating, so... Paige: But you said you'd be the opposing side. You promised. Scotty: I know. I'm so sorry, Paige. Nora: Scotty, if... if it means this much to Paige, I'm sure you could reschedule whatever it is you're doing. Kevin: You think you could, Scotty? Scotty: I suppose I could, Kevin. Kevin: Okay. Well, then we'll both help you. Nora: Yay. Kevin: Yay. Nora: Hi. Scotty: Hi. Nora: Paige doesn't want any... any mayonnaise on her sandwich. Scotty: Okay. Nora: I feel like I've crossed enemy lines just by standing in here with you. Scotty: Yeah, well... apparently you have. Nora: Yeah. Scotty: You know the hardest thing about all this? Is what happened that night was about so much more than cheating. But no matter what I felt, it doesn't matter, because I did what I did, and... Nora: And what? Scotty, Kevin told me about that night and why he didn't show up to the restaurant opening. Scotty: That's my point. I had a legitimate reason to be upset, but instead of telling him... Forget it. Nora: No, don't forget it. Don't forget it. Tell him now. Tell him everything... Everything you felt then, everything you feel now. That's the only way. Scotty: I've lost my right to. Kevin: Okay, Paige, you're the affirmative speaker, so you go first. Paige: Okay. So I'm saying that detention serves a satisfactory purpose. Kevin: Wait. Say, "resolved, " then state your proposition. That's how you start a debate. Scotty: Mmmm. Actually her school rules don't say anything about "resolved." She's just supposed to state the proposition. Paige: You read the rules? That's so sweet. Isn't that really sweet? Kevin: Okay. My bad. Start again. Paige: But I like resolved. It's cool. So resolved... one of the ways detention serves a purpose is it shows students that there can be consequences for their actions. Kevin: Good. Consequences for their actions... Good, solid first point. Paige: Detention teaches kids that when they do something wrong, they have to take responsibility for it. Kevin: Excellent point, one so many people overlook. Scotty: Kevin, I thought we were trying to stick to the task at hand. Paige: Do you want to rebut? Scotty: Yes. Resolved... Sometimes detention doesn't serve a purpose. Kevin: Why is that? Scotty: Okay, because... Well, you know, let's say Johnny does something bad, so principal Smith puts him in detention. So now he's sitting there alone, stewing. Things are getting worse. What principal Smith should do is talk to Johnny. Kevin: What if, say, Johnny cheated... On an exam? Are you saying principal Smith should have a heart-to-heart with the kid? Scotty: Yes, because talking about a problem is way better than icing Johnny out in some cold classroom. Paige: Plus, what if Johnny really loves principal Smith? Kevin: Okay, Paige, I know what you're doing. It is not appropriate. Paige: Then break up. See if I care. Scotty, will you please take me home? Scotty: Paige. Sarah. Anyone. Hello. Kevin: Fancy seeing you here. Scotty: I swear, I'm not stalking you. Paige called me and asked me if I would come back over. Kevin: Yeah, she left me a message saying she wanted to talk about what happened. Lo and behold, she's not here. Scotty: Right. Kevin: She did, uh, leave this note. "Sorry I had to leave. I forgot I promised my friend Amy I'd do her toenails." Scotty: She doesn't give up, does she? Kevin: She's worse than my mother. Scotty: Look, as long as we're both here, why don't... we go find a neutral space where we can just talk? Kevin: That would feel false. Scotty: Kevin, it's been three weeks. Kevin: And what, you feel there's some statute of limitations on cheating? Scotty: No. But I think you're making this all about you instead of about us. Kevin: Excuse me? Scotty: Kevin... I did a terrible thing... Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: So terrible that I've let you define the debate. But sometimes it feels like my life is all about you. It's like you consume all the oxygen in the room. That night, my restaurant was opening. And instead of it being about me, it became all about you, about why you weren't there, about you missing Robert, and... I was so exhausted from trying to solve your problems, and somebody came up to me and offered... To make it all about me. Kevin: So that's what our relationship was about, solving m-my problems? You're saying it happened because you were so ignored, you had to find solace somewhere else? Scotty: No. I'm saying my life with you is beautiful, and I cherish it. But it's not without its problems, and that night, I let the problems get the better of me, and I failed. Kevin, I am here fighting for us. Can't you see that? Kevin: Yes, I can. But I'm scared to let you back in. Scotty: The kitchen's closed. Kevin: Last year, I... hit rock bottom. I was in a terrible place, and you're right. It was all about me. But do you feel that it has always been about me? What did you say, that I "consume all the oxygen"? Scotty: No. I can breathe. I just... Kevin: Why didn't you tell me before? Scotty: Because a part of me loves it that way. I feel needed. You know, growing up, I hardly felt noticed. But you... It's like you can't get through the day without me. Kevin: I can't. Scotty: And sometimes, I let that go too far. When you didn't show up to my opening, it hurt... so much. I wanted to be the star that night. But, Kevin, believe me I would... never do that again. Kevin: That's the problem, because I can't promise the same about... changing. Obviously I'll... I'll try, but the way you described me just now? It's pretty accurate. I can be self-centered and neurotic... Scotty: Lovable and strong. Kevin: And needy and high-maintenance. Scotty: Caring, loyal... always, always loyal. Kevin: Scotty, I want us to better more than anything. But even if you wanted to, you wouldn't have time to look after me. Look at this place. I just wish there was something that I could do to prove to you how much I wanna change, because... I want to keep growing with you. Scotty: There is something. You can forgive me. Kevin: Oh, um, are Kevin and Scotty here yet? They're not coming, are they? Nora: Oh, sweetie, listen... Paige: I know. Just go in and get seats. Sarah: Okay. Paige: Yes, go get a seat. Kitty: You have a debate to do. Break a leg. Nora: Let's go, Kitty. Come on. Sarah: You're gonna be great, baby. Paige: Just go in, mom. Sarah: Okay. Kevin: Paige. Scotty: You organize your notes? Kevin: How do you feel? Paige: I knew it. I knew I could do it. Kevin: Do what? Paige: Resolved... Paige is the best couple fixer in the world. Kevin: True. Hurry up. You're gonna be late. Scotty: Yeah. Paige: Thanks, guys. Kevin: You're welcome. Go get 'em, champ. Scotty: Yeah, break a leg. Kevin: Yeah, make us proud. Paige: I might even win today. Kevin: Whoo! Scotty: So you're sure you wanna do this? Kevin: Watch kids mangle two hours of debate? Probably not. Scotty: Well, that's what uncles do, right? Kevin: I guess. Scotty. Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: I love you. Scotty: I love you, too.