Tuesday 4 December 2007
Monday 3 December 2007
Season 2 Episode 9 - music
Holy Matrimony First Aired: 2/Dec/2007 | |
     | "Start A War" by The National Kevin & Scotty talk after Kitty's wedding. Lyrics: We expected something, something better than before. We expected something more Do you really think you can just put it in a safe behind a painting, lock it up and leave Do you really think you can just put it in a safe behind a painting, lock it up and leave Walk away now and you're gonna start a war Whatever went away I'll get it over now. I'll get money, I'll get funny again Whatever went away I'll get it over now. I'll get money, I'll get funny again Walk away now and you're gonna start a war We expected something, something better than before. We expected something more You were always weird but I never had to hold you by the edges like I do now You were always weird but I never had to hold you by the edges like I do now Walk away now and you're gonna start a war Whatever went away I'll get it over now. I'll get money, I'll get funny again Whatever went away I'll get it over now. I'll get money, I'll get funny again Walk away now and you're gonna start a war Walk away now and you're gonna start a war |
Sunday 2 December 2007
Season 2 Episode 9
Holy Matrimony
First Aired: 2/Dec/2007
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Tommy: Are you kidding me? You can't pay for that kind of publicity. So, um you guys back together? Kevin: You know, we're just in the process of, you know, becoming a "we." Depending on what your definition of "we" is. Scotty: He's such a romantic. Kevin: It's not that. Uncle Jack: Oh, no. Not this putz. Kevin: Hey, everyone. Uncle Jack. I can call you that, right? Now that we're almost family. Uncle Jack: I don't think so. No. Come on, troops. Let's go find our spots. Let's go find our places. Come on, kids. Kevin: Well, that was unpleasant. So just... just be good to Kitty. Robert: Better than you were to my brother? Kevin: That's unfair. Robert: He is half a world away trying to make a difference with his life. He is all alone and you dump him. Now it's none of my business, so I'm just going to get through this. I'm gonna be cordial. And that's what we should do for Kitty's sake. Kevin: Of course. Scotty: Any chance I can take another picture? Kevin: No, you only get one. I can't believe the entire McCallister clan are giving me the cold shoulder. I mean, what did Jason tell them? Scotty: No idea. Oh, God. Look at what your mom's date wrote. "Stop the erosion of civil rights. Peace and love, Stan." Kevin: You know, I'm done justifying this breakup. Scotty: Then don't. Kevin: Well, why am I the bad guy? You know, I didn't set out to hurt Jason. What... You know, I'm not the only one to blame here. In fact, he's... Scotty: Okay, enough! Done. Stop. I'm not here as a friend to listen to you endlessly go on about your ex-boyfriend. Because however you define what we are, we're not platonic anymore. And the fact that you're willing to obsess over Jason... Kevin: I'm not obsessed. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Scotty: I'm gonna take a walk. ♪ Start A War ♪ by The National ♪ Listen Kevin: I can't believe I made it through that entire wedding sober. Scotty: You were in lockdown. Kevin: Yeah, with Stan. Like a new, special kind of torture. Scotty: Yeah, kind of like being stuck talking to a bunch of relatives you don't know. Kevin: Yeah, I'm sorry. Look, I was the worst date today. Scotty: "Date" implies you actually see the person. Kevin: I know. I just... You know, I didn't know Jason's family were going to get to me like that. Scotty: Get to you? You were making death threats. Kevin: Oh, yeah, yeah, do I look like an assassin? You can't get mad at me for being upset at a bunch of people I don't even know, acting like I'm the gay guy who doesn't know how to commit. Scotty: Then why did you stand there telling everyone we're still trying to define the word "we"? Kevin: Because you said you wanted to take things slow, Scotty. Scotty: You're not over him, Kev. At least that's what it feels like to me. Kevin: Okay, maybe I'm not over Jason completely, but I am getting there. Scotty, I wanna be with you. Scotty: Me, too. But sometimes just because you want something doesn't mean it's possible. |
Tuesday 27 November 2007
Monday 26 November 2007
Season 2 Episode 8 - music
Something New First Aired: 25/Nov/2007 | |
 "This Is Somewhere" (2007)  | "Apologies" by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals Kevin tells Scotty he wants them to get together again Lyrics: Yesterday he said my eyes Were fading fast away I said well what do you expect You asked me not to stay and if it had all been for the best I wouldn't feel this way And he said Oh he said it's crazy How love stays with me You know it hurts me Cause I don't wanna fight this war It's amazing to see me reading through this scene Of love and fear and apologies My love is like a blanket That gets a little bit too warm sometimes I wanna wrap somebody in it Who can hold me in his arms Cause when it got a little too hot in there He was always stepping out for air and he froze Oh he froze He said it's crazy How love stays with me You know it hurts me Cause I don't wanna fight this war It's amazing to see me reading through this scene Of love and fear and apologies Yesterday he looked at me With a tear in his eye and said I'll always tell you you're my friend I hope i don't have to lie Cause it's clear you love another man I said you're damn right And he said He said it's crazy How love stays with me You know it hurts me Cause I don't wanna fight this war It's amazing to see me reading through this scene Of love and fear and apologies He said it's crazy How love stays with me You know it hurts me That i didn't figure it out before And now it's too late for a soliloquy It's way too late for dignity It's time for apologies |
Season 2 Episode 8 - music
Something New First Aired: 25/Nov/2007 | |
 | "What are the Chances" by Chris Pierce Kevin & Scotty kiss Lyrics: What are the chances, of running into you Standing out on the edge, looking for a clue Staring home at the stars waiting for God to show me the way to your heart And here you are out of the blue I found you I found you again What are the chances, of finding a needle in a haystack What are the chances, to turn the time back What are the chances, tell me the truth What are the chances, of ever finding you Here you are here you are Out of the blue I found you,again I found you again When you lose your faith and the hope is gone Never give in you got to carry on carry on What are the chances, of finding a needle in a haystack What are the chances, to turn the time back What are the chancs, tell me the truth What are the chances, of ever finding you |
Sunday 25 November 2007
Season 2 Episode 8
Something New First Aired: 25/Nov/2007 | ||
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Scotty: It lowers your blood pressure. Kevin: Yep? So does a glass of wine with far less risk of paralysis. Why aren't you working? Scotty: I'm on days. We could go back to writing notes if actual conversation is too weird. Oh, sorry. No messages. Kevin: Of course not. Do you wanna be my date for kitty's wedding? Scotty: Oh, how appealing. A spite invite? Kevin: No. Yes. A-a little. You know going to a wedding alone is torture. Scotty: What about Jason? Kevin: Reverend "god forbid I call you back" won't be there. Scotty: Yeah, but his brother Robert will. What will he think? Kevin: Who cares? Miatello's is catering. They're serving those little gorgonzola and potato pizzas with saffron and sage. Scotty: You had me at "gorgonzola." Kevin: Thought so. Scotty: I come with decadence. Kevin: Wow, what happened? Did you rob the long beach aquarium? Scotty: We had a chichi 6-year-oldirthday party at the restaant-- "A Little Mermaid" theme. Turns out the kids couldn't bear to eat sebastian. The mermaid's best friend? Anyhow, their drama, our dinner. Kevin: Great. Uh, would sebastian like a little melted butter on the side? Scotty: I don't know, but I would. Kevin: Marvelous. Light some candles. I'll be right back. Scotty: Oh, candles? I mean, it's just takeout, when you think of it. Kevin: Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure, no candles. Uh.. well, we can still have champagne, right? Scotty: Sure. ♪ What Are The Chances ♪ by Chris Pierce ♪ Listen Scotty: Kevin. Kevin. Go to bed. Kevin: Actually, could you take your foot? It's digging right into... sorry. Scotty: I should go to my air mattress. Kevin: Yeah, you should. Kevin: Hey. Scotty: Hey. Keiv: You're going to the gym? Scotty: Yeah, have to. Working in the kitchen demands it, or you end up, you know, with- Kevin: I know, with love handles like me. Scotty: I think we've already established I have no problems with your body. Kevin: Nor I yours. Look, about last night, Scotty: You don't have to say anything. I know what happened. You were vulnerable. Your boyfriend's million miles away, and I was a warm body after lobster dinner. Add champagne and voila... Mistake sex. Kevin: What if it wasn't a mistake? Scotty: Kevin, you don't have to make me feel better by turning yesterday's nostalgic sex romp into something that it wasn't. Kevin: I'm not. Believe me, I'm not. Yes, of course I miss him. You know, why wouldn't I? He's not calling me. But it's like what we had, he's put into this compartment, and now he's gone back to his first love, which is god or the church or... or something. I don't know. But it's certainly not me. Scotty: You don't know that. When people are far away... Kevin: Look, I know how I feel, so just let me feel that way get hurts. Scotty: Hey. It'll be all right. I promise. Kevin: I'm not so sure. Kevin: Hello? Hello, Jason?! Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I've missed you. No, no, I'm sorry. No, it's just your voice. You... well, why haven't you call me? No, God. No, of course I know the service is spotty. No, I'm good. I'm good. I just... I... yeah, well, I need... I need... I need to talk to you, too. ♪ Apologies ♪ by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals ♪ Listen Kevin: Cleaning or packing? Scotty: Packing. A friend offered me her couch. I think it'll be easier this way. Kevin: Yeah, you're right. It would be easier. But difficult is sometimes good, you know? It forces you to do things you didn't think you could. Scotty: Oh... we can do it, Kevin. We always seem to end up... doing it. What we never seem to understand is that it gets us nowhere. Kevin: I finally spoke with Jason. Scotty: Good. I'm glad. I... Kevin: I broke up with him. Scotty: Kevin, why do you always have to be such a drama queen? So he didn't call you for a couple of weeks. Kevin: It's not that. Scotty, when I first met you, I thought we... Scotty: Kevin, if you're about to romanticize what we had, just... Kevin: I'm not. That's the whole point. Because what we had was... it... it was messy. You know, we were hot and cold and back and forth, all over the place. But I wanna be back there with you. Because I wanna be honest about who I am. Scotty: Did you tell Jason we slept together? Kevin: Yes, I did. Look, I know I'm... I'm asking way too much of you. But like I said, easy isn't all it's cracked up to be. |
Sunday 11 November 2007
Season 2 Episode 7 - music
Something New
First Aired: 11/Nov/2007
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 | "The Horses" by Rickie Lee Jones Kevin finds Scotty's note Lyrics: We will fly Way up high Where the cold wind blows Or in the sun Laughing having fun With the people that she knows And if the situation Should keep us separated You know the world won't fall apart And you will free the beautiful bird That's caught inside your heart Can't you hear her ? Oh she cries so loud Casts her wild note Over water and cloud That's the way it's gonna be, little darlin' We'll be riding on the horses, yeah Way up in the sky, little darlin' And if you fall I'll pick you up, pick you up You will grow And until you go I'll be right there by your side And even then Whisper the wind And she will carry up your ride I hear all the people of the world In one bird's lonely cry See them trying every way they know how To make their spirit fly Can't you see him ? He's down on the ground He has a broken wing Looking all around That's the way it's gonna be, little darlin' You go riding on the horses, yeah Way up in the sky, little darlin' And if you fall I'll pick you up, pick you up Can't you hear her ? Oh she cries so loud Casts her wild note Over water and cloud I'll pick you up darlin' if you fall Don't worry 'bout a thing little girl Because I was young myself not so long ago And when I was young When I was young And when I was young, oh I was a wild, wild one |
Season 2 Episode 7
Sunday 4 November 2007
Season 2 Episode 6
Two Places First Aired: 4/Nov/2007 | ||
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Kevin: Well, I called your cell phone, but it's disconnected. So I dropped by your place, and your landlady, who is really creepy by the way, said you no longer live there. Scotty: Yeah, well, I would love to catch up, but I just spent the last hour deboning quail, and now I'm moving onto chicken, so now is not the best time. Kevin: Okay, fine. I get it. You're mad about the whole Saul thing, but, you know, disconnecting your phone and moving is a little extreme, even for you. Scotty: This may come as a shock to you, but what's happening with me has nothing to do with you. Kevin: Okay, fine. What does it have to do with? Scotty: I'd really rather not do this here. Kevin: I'd rather not stalk my friends for them to talk to me, but I'm here. Scotty: My tuition was due, so I fell behind on my rent. And my car insurance. And my phone bill. Turns out being a cooking student and apprentice sous-chef isn't a road to financial freedom. Kevin: Why didn't you just call me? Scotty: What is it they say, "Pride goeth before the eviction?" Kevin: Oh, come on. Scotty, this is me. Scotty: I know. And you were finally starting to treat me like someone whose life wasn't a complete train wreck. Kevin: So where are you staying? Scotty: Oh, friends' futons, friends' sleeping bags - and last night, my Ranchero. Kevin: You're homeless? Scotty: Oh, I like to think of it as being between homes. Kevin: Look, I have, I've got an inflatable mattress. You should come and stay with me. Scotty: Are you really sure there's room for me, with all our baggage? Kevin: I have a boyfriend and I'm in love, so... Scotty: And your missionary really won't mind? Kevin: If he's going to be looking after poor schoolchildren, the least I can do is shelter a struggling culinary artist. Scotty: Okay. Kevin: I'll put the key under the mat. Good luck on the chicken. Scotty: Thank you. Kevin: Jason, I've tried every number you've given me, and I know I'm about to leave you the worst answering machine message in history, but I don't have a choice. Um, there's no wedding, because there's no baby. Kitty had a miscarriage, so... I'm sure Robert would love to hear from you. I'd love to hear from you. Anyway, I hope you're okay. Bye. Scotty: I'm really sorry. Kevin: Yeah. Me, too. Scotty: Is there anything I can do? Kevin: Yeah, you could deflate the mattress when you leave. I tripped on it earlier. Almost killed myself. Scotty: I'm serious, Kevin. After everything you've done for me. Kevin: No. No, there's nothing. Thank you for the thought, though. Kevin: Hey. Scotty: Hey, did you hear from Jason yet? Kevin: No. But luckily I have enough work to distract me. Scotty: Okay, I cannot let you drown yourself in legal briefs. It's too depressing. Kevin: Scotty, I am depressed. Scotty: That's because you miss him. But there are other ways to deal with it other than work. Kevin: Really? What do you propose? Scotty: Well, if you're feeling romantic about him, The Thorn Birds. If you're angry at him, The Exorcist. And if you're just in the mood for a good time, and my personal favorite, Glitter. Kevin: Let's start with The Exorcist. |
Monday 22 October 2007
Season 2 Episode 4 - music
States of the Union First Aired: 21/Oct/2007 | |
 | "The Sea" by Morcheeba Saul goes to a party. Lyrics: Flocking to the sea Crowds of people wait for me Sea gulls scavenge, steal ice cream Worries vanish within my dream I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free Fishing boats sail past the shore No singing may-day any more The sun is shining, the Water's clear Just you and I walk along the pier I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free A cool breeze flows but mind the wasp Some get stung it's worth the cost I'd love to stay, the city calls me home More hassles fuss and lies on the phone I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control here, living free I left my soul there, down by the sea I lost control with you, and living, living, and I, living, by the sea |
Sunday 21 October 2007
Season 2 Episode 4
States of the Union First Aired: First Aired: 21/Oct/2007 | ||
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| ♪ The Sea ♪ by Morcheeba Listen Saul: Wow, wow, you said a few people. Milo: Well, you know what they say, 30 is the new few. Saul: Yeah. I just... I don't know. I wasn't expecting... Milo: All men? Saul: Yeah. Milo: Well, I guess I should've warned you, but then you would've found an excuse not to go. Saul: Come on, Milo. I may be a lot of things, but I'm certainly not that. Milo: Come on. We can catch up. Saul: Good, 'cause I don't know anybody here. Milo: What will you have? Saul: I'll have a gin martini straight up. Very cold. Olives, please. Scotty: Duck rellenos with jalapeno relish? Milo: I'll be right back. Try these. They're great. Saul: Okay. Scotty: Saul. Scotty. I'm Kevin's ex. We met last year at Nora's. The most awkward dinner party ever. The one with the fantastic mango peach salsa. Saul: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I remember her dinner party, yeah. No. Thank you. Nice to see you, Scotty. Scotty: It was a big, gay cocktail party. What more do you want from me? Kevin: Details. You're not honestly insinuating Saul was there. Scotty: No, I'm not insinuating. He was. Kevin: Okay, so it was all gay men and Uncle Saul? Scotty: Why do I feel like I'm being cross-examined? All I said was, "You never told me your uncle's gay." I was making small talk. Kevin: Small talk? This is small talk. "Nice weather we're having." This is my Uncle Saul we're talking about. I'd think I would know if he were gay. You know what? A lot of straight people go to gay parties. Scotty: I'm just saying, if you'd seen the way he and this Milo guy were looking at each other... Kevin: Oh, wow. They looked at each other. How incriminating. Scotty: Why are you being so defensive? Kevin: He's dated women. He even dated my dad's mistress for God's sake. Scotty: You said that relationship was doomed from the start. And how many 60-year-old men do you know who have never had a serious relationship with a woman? Kevin, it's time for you to take off your Prada shades and open your eyes. |
Sunday 14 October 2007
Season 2 Episode 3
History Repeating
First Aired: 14/Oct/2007
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Kevin: Send him waltzing on in, Lisa. Wow. Scotty. Why... Why the subterfuge? Scotty: I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd take the meeting given how weird things were last time we met. Kevin: You know, I'm... Look. I'm sorry. I should never have slept with you that night. It was... It was really wrong. Scotty: Well, it's not like you drugged me. You look good. Kevin: Thank you. I'm, I'm okay. It's nice to see you. So, is everything okay? Scotty: No. Kevin. I need a lawyer. Preferably one who might be flexible about payment. Kevin: Okay. What happened? Did you get nabbed shoplifting mascara and a thong? Scotty: I got a DUI. I had a glass of pinot gris, but it's impossible I was drunk. Kevin: Did they do a Breathalyzer? What was your blood alcohol? Scotty: .08. Barely anything. Kevin: Right over the legal limit. Scotty: Kev, this cop was weird. He took one look at me, and he was totally homophobic. I was wearing pink shorts and an old Queen T-shirt, and he smirked and put on gloves when he took my license, and then, and then he made this face like I had some disease. Kevin: Did he? Do you have the notice to appear? He stopped you for a broken tail light? Scotty: I wasn't even driving wonky. If I lose my license, I'll get fired. I need to be able to drive the catering van. This is such bad timing. I've been trying to be a grown-up. Kevin: Yeah, it's hard work, isn't it? Look, Scotty, I may be able to get an iffy ticket thrown out. But next time will you please take a cab? You know, the thought of you in jail is pretty terrible. If someone hurt, that's worse. Scotty: Does this mean you'll help? Kevin: Of course. Officer Phipps: I stopped Mr. Wandell, who was in a rusted orange 1972 Ranchero missing a tail light. Kevin: And you stopped him for the tail light? Officer Phipps: And felt that because of his demeanor and his breath, alcohol had been imbibed recently. Kevin: What was his demeanor? Officer Phipps: A lot of catty back talk. Kevin: And you gave him a Breathalyzer test? Officer Phipps: His blood alcohol level was.08, which is just over the legal limit. It also appeared he was living in his vehicle. Scotty: It's like an extra closet is all. Kevin: I don't think that's relevant, Officer. And the Breathalyzer machine is accurate enough to be used as evidence in a court of law in the state of California? Officer Phipps: Yeah. Standard. Kevin: Standard except when said Breathalyzer hasn't been calibrated every month. Your Honor, I wish to introduce into evidence, with the court's permission, the maintenance records for the instrument in question, serial number 4564702. Oh, officer, if you'd like to have a look at it, we'll happily wait for you to put your gloves on. Seeing as how you needed them to inspect my client's license. Your Honor, we take this charge very seriously. However, it is not my expectation, when I ask, as a formality, to inspect the maintenance records of the instrument in question, that two regularly scheduled inspections were missed. Judge: Officer Phipps. Officer Phipps: Yes, Your Honor. Kevin: Your Honor, this invalidates the basis of the case and seeing as my client's blood alcohol was barely above the legal limit... Judge: Enough. Case dismissed. Kevin: Thank you, Your Honor. Judge: You got bubkes, son. Officer Phipps: He also called me "Little Miss Officer," Your Honor. Scotty: Sue him for defamation. Next case. Scotty: You're my hero. Kevin: I got to get back to the office, pro bono circus hour is over. Scotty: Look, I'm, I know I can't pay you, but at least let me take you to dinner? I can get us into San Estephe. Kevin: San Estephe? Are you kidding? It takes months to get a reservation there. And I know you can't afford it. And you know what? I'm not going to dine and ditch with you, Scotty. Scotty: Yeah. Trust me, please. Just like a little bit of faith. Scotty: Come on in. It's all right. Don't be afraid. Kevin: Are.. are we allowed to be in here? 'Cause usually five-star restaurants don't like the patrons entering through the alleyway. Scotty: Actually the restaurant is closed for another hour. Please have a seat. And a nice white Burgundy for you while I work. Kevin: You work here? Scotty: I'm still a cater waiter. I'm still dirt poor. But I've been putting myself through chef school in Pasadena. I came in top of my class and won an internship here as apprentice sous-chef. Lobster ravioli in a Meyer lemon and butter emulsion on a bed of sautd baby watercress and fried capers. Kevin: You made this? Scotty: Kevin, in less than an hour, people will pour through those doors and this place will be a madhouse until midnight. And then the staff, totally wired and really beat, we have some wine. See, I wasn't drunk. It was the end of my first month here and I was really happy because... I was changing my life. So... Thank you. Kevin: To changing our lives. Kevin: I am so impressed at how you've pulled your life together. Does this mean I can't tease you anymore? Scotty: No. Please never stop teasing me. Kevin: It is going to take a lot of meals like this for you to pay your legal bill, sir. Scotty: Well, that's fine by me. Kevin: You know what? I'm just... Scotty: Oh, oh, God, no. No. I'm sorry. Kevin: No, No, No, No ! No. Scotty. Scotty. I'm in a relationship. Scotty: Oh ! Oh, I guess I'm not the only one who's changed. Who? Kevin: Ah... He's... He's the brother of my sister's fianc, and it's... You know, it's... It's... Scotty: The minister? Kevin: Yup. Scotty: Oh, God. Wow. Where's his church? Kevin: Ah, Malaysia. Scotty: Excuse me? Artesia? Kevin: Malaysia. On an island called Tioman. Which you might recognize from the movie South Pacific. Scotty: So he's really available. Kevin: You know, Tioman is famous for the red flying squirrels. And the slow loris and the walking catfish. Scotty: Well, I'm really happy for you. All of you. Including the catfish. Kevin: I'm sorry. Scotty: Yeah. Me, too. I should probably get back to work. It's about to get busy and I need some time to poach my fool head in vermouth. Kevin: You know, it's... It's just timing. Thank you. Scotty: You're welcome. Kevin: Scotty. Wait. Wait. Scotty: I'm so working right now. I can't talk. I'm sorry I made assumptions... Kevin: Stop! Okay? Listen. I'm... We were never friends. We just went straight to being lovers and fighters. And seeing as the only gay friends I have are my sisters, maybe we could try that. Scotty: Kevin. If I don't get this perfectly cooked piece of Copper River salmon to David Beckham at table three, you'll have to hire me as your personal chef. Kevin: He's here? Scotty: Yes. Kevin: Wow. Scotty: I'll call you later. Now go. Yeah. Kevin: Okay. |
Tuesday 13 February 2007
Monday 12 February 2007
Season 1 Episode 14 - music
Valentine's Day Massacre First Aired: 11/Feb/2007 | |
 http://amzn.com/B000QN515A  "Same Height Relation" (2005) | "Soul So Sweet" by Hector On Stilts Kevin talks with Chad about Michelle's setting up and othres Lyrics: |
Season 1 Episode 14 - music
Valentine's Day Massacre
First Aired: 11/Feb/2007
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  "Just Say the Word" (2006) | "Opposite Of Me" by Josh Kelley Kevin works out with Chad and Michelle Lyrics: Talk to me like I don't get it Maybe you don't get me You're a rich girl in momma's high heels And someday you're gonna see I got x-ray vision, I'll see right through you Like crystal and we're standing in this room And who you are ain't who I am That's alright with me What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be 'Cause we're day and night Baby it's so right that we do agree What I love about you is that you are The opposite of me You're speaking some shady lingo That someday I'd love to learn You're a bad girl in daddy's new wheels Watching that rubber burn It's a game little lover but ain't it fun Trying to figure out where you're coming from I'll take my chance, come on let's dance It's how it's got to be What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be 'Cause we're day and night Baby it's so right that we do agree What I love about you is that you are The opposite of me They say that opposites attract Whatcha gonna say 'bout that No, no more excuses Just relax What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be 'Cause we're day and night Baby it's so right that we do agree What I love about you is that you are The opposite, oh no They say that opposites attract Whatcha gonna say about that No more excuses, baby Now look at my eyes and I'll tell you What's so right now |
Sunday 11 February 2007
Season 1 Episode 14
Valentine's Day Massacre
First Aired: 11/Feb/2007
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Kevin: Nothing is more important than this. I slept with him. Kitty: Who? Chad? Kevin: No, it's not Chad. Already we've been sleeping with Chad. Kitty: What? Something more surprising than you having a closetted affair with a soap star? Kevin: Scotty. I slept with Scotty. Kitty: Oh, well, that's great! I like Scotty. Kevin: It's not great. He's my ex. Don't you know what that means? Kitty: Can you just hold on one second? I'm on the other line with Sarah. Hey Sarah, you're never gonna believe this. Kevin slept with Scotty last night. Hello? Kevin: And just like that, you were gonna betray my trust. Kitty: Oh please, you know what? You're like the CNN of our family. Just hold on. Hey, Sarah, sorry. So Kevin slept with Scotty last night. Sarah: Shut up! Get the details. I'll hold. I wouldn't go telling him about Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if you know what I mean. Kitty: OK. Kevin, spill it quickly. I have a crisis to abort over here. Kevin: What crisis? It's 8:00 in the morning. Did something happen last night? Did we get? Oh, my God, you and McCallister? Kitty: No, I didn't. We didn't. We didn't. Kevin: How does he look naked? He looks good? Was it hot in that morally reprehensible kind of way? Justin's calling. Hold on. Guess what? Justin: I messed up, bro. Kevin: OK. Well, at least you're still alive. Justin: I didn't do drugs, moron. Just... just Tyler. Kevin: Oh, you ass. Justin: Seriously bro, I'm not supposed to have sex yet. I'll replace my addiction. Kevin: Oh, it's what after rehab you're sworn to celibacy? Justin: Yeah. Kind of. Look, I gotta go. Kevin: OK, whatever. Justin got back with Tyler last night. Kitty: Oh, you're kidding. Did you tell him? Kevin: We're both having sexes with exes? No, but I can't wait to. Mom's calling. Look, I'm gonna hang up so it'll go to voice mail or she'll know I'm avoiding her call. Kitty: All right, all right. Bye. Michelle: Isn't that your friend? Chad: Yeah. Michelle: What's his name again? Chad: Uh... Kev... in. Michelle: Kevin! Come stretch with us. Come on! Don't be shy. Chad: Hey. Michelle: Look at those glutes. I can't believe you're single. You are single, right? Kevin: Yeah. Michelle: I can see it. In those sad blue eyes. Chad: Michelle. Michelle: What? He's a big boy. Let me hook you up with friends. Kevin: Do they look like you? Michelle: Yes, they do. Kevin: Then no. Michelle: What? You like big boobs? Kevin: Ah, I've retired from the boob business. Michelle: Holy crap! You're, like, gay. Kevin: Not "like" gay. I'm the real thing. Michelle: "I'm the real thing. " I love the way you talk. Funny guy. And you make six figures. If you were straight, you would have the hottest girlfriend. What kind of guys do you go for? Come on, Chad. What's his type? Chad: Um... He's hard to please. Michelle: What? Business men? Kevin: No. Michelle: Ivy Leaguers? Big beefy gym bunnies? Kevin: I prefer them slightly waifish. Michelle: Oh, my God. Oh, my God! The best guy for you ever! Chad: Michelle, I'm not sure Kevin's so desperate to meet somebody. He's a busy guy. Kevin: No, I'm interested. Michelle: I can't believe I didn't think about this before. You guys will love each other. He's well put together, he's gorgeous. What are you doing for Valentine's? Kevin: Nothing. Michelle: Then it's offic. You're coming to my sister's Valentine's Day party. Don't worry. I'm hooking you up huge. You're gonna thank me. I swear, all the best guys I meet are gay. Except you, of course, babe. ♪ Soul So Sweet ♪ by by Hector On Stilts ♪ Listen Kevin: Who is this guy, the guy Michelle's trying to set me up with? Am I gonna like him? Chad: No. You've already fallen for somebody else. Kevin: This whole affair is giving my ulcer an anxiety attack. Chad: It's my career, Kev. We've been over this. Kevin: I know. It's just taking its toll on me, that's all. You're never gonna want anything more than what we have, what I'm always going to. There's an inevitable outcome, Chad. Chad: You're not my prisoner. I'm not making you stay in this. Kevin: No, we're both your prisoner. Chad: I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do. Here. It's a... valentine. To make up for dragging you into the closet with me for this long. Kevin: This is way too much. Chad: No, it's not. Please come tonight. I know we can't be together for Valentine's Day, but it doesn't mean I don't wanna see you. Chad: How's it going? Kevin: Good. I'll get you a drink. Chad: So I can end up the lead story on Defamer tomorrow? No thanks. Kevin: It'll make you more comfortable. Which will make me more confortable. Chad: Yeah, well... Michelle: There you are. I need you. And I need you. You, for dancing. And you, for meeting the man of your dreams. Kevin: You should really have us trade. Michelle: Kevin, this is Scotty. Scotty: Kevin, nice to meet you. Kevin: Nice to meet you. Scotty: Aren't you a little risk taker. Look at you. You're making a statement, dressed to take the "singles" out of the "party. " Kevin: Look, I know I can't stop you from hating me, but could you pull back just a little on the mocking? Scotty: Maybe. That is quite the masculine watch. Kevin: I guess not. That's quite the masculine haircut. Scotty: Leave the mocking to the professionals. Chad: You OK? Scott, right? Scotty: "Tee. " Close enough. Chad: You good, Kev? Kevin: Yeah. Great. Scotty: My gaydar just red-lined. How do you know Michelle again? Kevin: I do boot camp with her. Scotty: No, you do boot camp with him. Kevin: To being friends of friends. Scotty: I should've known, honestly. What were the odds? How many gay-lawyer Kevins do you think are in this town? Kevin: I'll tell you this much, you couldn't come more highly recommended. Scotty: Neither could you. Kevin "the hot teddy-bear of an attorney". Tell me, did I live up to the hype? kevin: Beyond my wildest expectations. What about me? Scotty: Better than advertised. Kevin: You better watch out. I'm a little drunk. You might take advantage of me. Scotty: Is that a premature excuse? Kevin: I miss you sometimes. Scotty: Me too. Sometimes. Scotty: Good morning, mister. Kevin: Morning. Do you want some? I'm sorry. I have to take this. Hey, how was the rest of the party? Chad: You went home with that guy, didn't you? Kevin: Uh, is that fair? Chad: Did you sleep with him? That's all I wanna know. Kevin: Uh, you don't actually wanna know. Chad: I was gonna talk to Michelle. I was gonna... You know what? Forget it. Kevin: What? Chad! Don't... Chad: Don't call me, all right? Scotty: Oh. So last night was about making someone else jealous. Kevin: I don't know. Scotty: Well, it obviously worked. You know, you almost have to love the irony. You're right where I was with you a few months ago. Kevin: You know, you ended things with me, Scotty. Scotty: Now you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't love himself. I feel sorry for you. Good luck, Kevin. |
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