Season 5 Episode 8

The Rhapsody of the Flesh First Aired: 14/Nov/2010

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Justin: What? Hello. There's... Kimberly: Don't you worry. It's only me. Justin: There is no such thing as only you, Kimberly. Kimberly: Mm? Justin: Boy, this is bizarre. It's not my birthday. Kimberly: Mnh-mnh. Justin: You're not holding a cake. Kimberly: Mm. Justin: You lock the door? Kimberly: No. Oh! Scotty: Oh, gosh. Oh. Oh. I am so sorry. I'm so sorry! Justin, is the bar set up for the lunch rush? Justin: Uh, you know, not yet. I was looking for olives, but we're out, uh, so I was just trying to get some. Scotty: Well, you know, time's wastin', so chop chop. Justin: Yep. Be right there. Scotty: All right. Justin: Oh. Kevin: He invited you at 9 for a 10 o'clock TV show? Nora: Well, he's a shrink. Maybe he's only comfortable in 45-minute increments. Kevin: I know you wanna take this to the next level. I don't think that even counts as a level. That's like the elevator stalled between floors. Nora: We did agree to be friends early on. Kevin: Mom, you love your job. You enjoy Karl's company. If you get into a romantic relationship, and one of you gets hurt, then you've lost a friend and screwed up your work situation. Nora: What if he is actually the man of my dreams, and... and I miss my chance? Kevin: You know what? I'm in over my head. Nora: Why don't you ask Sarah? Well, I can't ask Sarah. If this deal goes through, then she'll be my boss. She'll be his boss. Kevin: Mom, I gotta go. I'm sorry. I'm hosting lunch, and I've accidentally overbooked the reservations. Nora: Where's Saul? Kevin: Wine convention, Napa. And since this is Justin's first double shift behind the bar, and I clearly have no idea what I'm doing, Scotty's a little freaked out. Nora: Honey, well, just pretend you have people skills. Uh, I-I gotta go. Talk to you later. Kevin: Bye, mom. Justin: Um, Angie, have you met my brother Kevin? Angie: Uh, nice to meet you. Kevin: Nice to meet you. My God, your hands are cold. You okay? Angie: We were in the walk-in cooler for a while. Scotty: Getting beer. Kevin: Yeah. It can take a while. You don't want to startle the beer by moving it too fast. Angie: I should get back to the kitchen. Kevin: I'll come with you. Angie: Talk to you later. Justin: Bye, sweetie. Kevin: Talk to you later. Kevin: I just sat my first two patrons. Scotty: Yeah, I saw that. You put them at a 4-top instead of a deuce. You can't do that when we're overbooked. You only put 2 people at a 4-top when there are no empty deuces. Oh, and I need you to tell everybody on the floor we're eighty-six on the Dover sole. Kevin: Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about right now, but I'm incredibly turned on. Scotty: Well, apparently, both of you Walker boys find restaurant work arousing. Kevin: You know about Justin? Scotty: Yeah, I caught him making out in the storage room this morning. Kevin: Oh, my God. He's dedicated. Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: He finished up his hanky-panky in the walk-in cooler. Scotty: I just hope he knows what he's doing. That Kimberly girl is a little wacky. Kevin: I thought her name was Angie. Scotty: Angie... my sous-chef? No wonder she keeps disappearing. Kevin: Who's Kimberly? Scotty: Kimberly's the waitress with the southern accent and the gun collection. Kevin: Are you serious? Scotty: Yeah. You need to talk to him. Tell him to knock it off. I can't have him two-timing my staff. Kevin: How many guns? Scotty: I don't know. She's from Texas. Kevin, you gotta get out there. Kevin: Okay, wish me luck. Scotty: If you see Angie, tell her I need her in the kitchen now. Kevin: All right. You might wanna hide the knives. Kevin: And someone named Jennifer called, twice, on the reservation line. Justin: Jennifer? Kevin: Mm. Justin: You have a last name? Kevin: Uh, no. Why, is there more than one Jennifer? Justin: There can never be enough Jennifers. Kevin: Okay, you know what? You're actually now out of control. You are multi-tonguing two different women behind every closed door in this restaurant. Now you have Jennifers coming out of your ears. You wanna tell me what's going on? Justin: I don't know what's going on. I'm not doing anything different. It feels like I'm in a "Girls Gone Wild" video. Kevin: Oh, come on. Justin: No, I'm serious. I'm not even hitting on these girls. They're just coming on to me. It's like I'm giving off, like... like a musk or something... Or the army did some breeding experiment on me. It's awesome. Kevin: Would you listen to yourself? Justin: Kevin, there's something going on. I don't know what it is, but I'm certainly not gonna stop it. Kevin: You have to stop, okay? Because you've had your fun. Justin: No. Okay? I haven't had my fun. Look, Captain happy is finally remembering What it's like to be single. Kevin: You named your penis Captain Happy? Will the straight clich ever end? Justin: Oh, I don't know. Why don't you ask little big man? Kevin: I can't believe I told you that. Justin: You didn't tell me. You told Tommy, and then Tommy told me. Kevin: Here's the thing... Scotty is freaking out there's gonna be some kind of catfight in the dish room, okay? Justin: Tell him not to be nervous. All right? I have this figured out. Angie works lunches, and Kimberly now works the dinner shift. They're never gonna cross paths. Kevin: Is it too much to ask you schedule your hookups on your own time? Justin: Oh, Kev... No, that's fine. That's fair. Kevin: Thank you. I forget. What was Tommy's? Justin: The magnificent seven. Kevin: Yeah, right. He wishes. Justin: Angie! Angie: Hey. Justin: Hi. I didn't... I didn't know you were working tonight. Angie: Yeah, I'm covering for Nick. Justin: Yeah, I... Angie: I brought you some hot tea for your throat. I put honey and... and lemon in it. Justin: Uh, for... for my throat? Angie: Yeah. Kevin said you were coming down with the flu. Justin: Oh, he did? No, no, no. He totally has me confused with someone else. Angie: So you're not getting a cold sore? Justin: A cold... No! I'm not getting a cold sore. No. My lips are totally fine. Angie: Oh! Okay. That's a relief. Justin: Yeah. Kevin: What did you say to them?! Justin: Nothing. Kevin, I'm doing my job. I'm being friendly. Scotty: What happened? Kevin: I had a party of four women waiting for a table. When I go to seat them, all of a sudden, they're no longer hungry. They wanna eat peanuts at the bar. Okay. Scotty: So now I'm losing customers. Justin, this has to stop. Kevin: Yeah. Justin: You guys act like I can control this. Kimberly: Justin? Justin: Hey. Kimberly: Are you okay? Justin: Yeah. Kimberly: Do you have a fever? Oh, let me feel your forehead, you poor baby. Justin: Kimberly, I'm fine. Thank you. Kimberly: I don't know. You feel a little warm to me. Then again, I think you always run a little hot. Scotty, Kevin: Ooh! Kevin: Uh, Kimberly, you know what? Table seven... Scotty: Uh, Angie, would you mind going to the storeroom... Kevin: ... needs, uh, more water right now. Thank you. Scotty: ... getting me some lentils? Thanks. Kevin: Great. Scotty: Go home. Justin: What? Scotty: You heard me. Out of here. Justin: Look, that fever thing is Kevin's fault. Scotty: Take over the bar. Kevin: What?! Scotty: Justin, leave through the back door and don't speak to anyone. Justin: Scotty, you're acting like this is my fault. Scotty: Go! Justin: Okay. Kevin: Way to go, Captain Happy. Scotty: Now! Justin: Hey, mom. It's, uh, it's Justin. And I just wanna let you know that I put everyone's keys in the breakfast nook 'cause I didn't want anyone driving. And I hope you're all feeling better this morning. And again, I'm really, really sorry about last night. All right. Love you, mom. Bye. Hey. Scotty: Kevin told me, uh, things got pretty wild at your mom's. Justin: Yeah. Scotty: Apparently, Sarah's pretty pissed. Justin: I know. Aw, man. Scotty: Justin, um, is everything okay? Justin: Yeah. God, look, it's just, I... I feel like I've been under such stress and that I'm finally able to be myself and... and relax a little bit for the first time in a long time. And, you know, I don't know, I got a little carried away, and I didn't stop and think how it could affect other people, like you. So... Scotty, I'm sorry. Scotty: I appreciate that. And not to be a hypocritical boss, but I am officially putting a moratorium on workplace hookups. Justin: I endorse that 100%, and I will come clean with Angie and Kimberly. Scotty: Good. You know about, um, her gun collection, right? Justin: Gun collection? Scotty: Kimberly. Justin: Gun, like, real? Scotty: Real. Justin: Wow. Justin: Hey. Kevin: Hey. Justin: So... I'm here to apologize to you. Kevin: You don't have to apologize to me. You should talk to Kimberly and Angie and mom. Justin: I did already. All right? I get it. I was a jerk. You were right. Kevin: Well, I was a little hard on you. I am slightly sensitive about people having workplace dalliances with the waitstaff. Justin: Yeah, I can understand that. But you... you and Scotty are better, right? Kevin: We're getting through it... you know, good days and bad. Justin: Well, look, I mean, you are very lucky to have a marriage where you're both willing to work on it. Kevin: I don't know how lucky I felt at the time. Anyway, you're the one who's turned getting lucky into an art form. Justin: Yes, but I put Captain happy on probation. Kevin: Yeah. You still working the lunch shift? Justin: Yes, but this is my final week. I gave Scotty my notice. Kevin: Oh. Justin: Funny. I don't think he's gonna miss me. Kevin: Don't take it too bad. He fired me, so I'm gonna sue him. justin: All right. Kevin: Oh, hey. Justin: Yeah? Kevin: What's Luc's mom like? Justin: Oh, she's hot. Kevin: Down, boy. Justin: Right. Ugh. Scotty: Good. ♪ Breathe Again ♪ by Sara Bareilles ♪ Listen