Cold Turkey First Aired: 12/Dec/2010 | |
     | "River" by Angus Stone Saul finishes his Jewish blessing & ending montage. Lyrics: It's coming on Christmas They're cutting down trees They're putting up reindeer And singing songs of joy and peace Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on But it don't snow here It stays pretty green I'm going to make a lot of money Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene I wish I had a river I could skate away on I wish I had a river so long I would teach my feet to fly Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on I made my baby cry He tried hard to help me You know, he put me at ease And he loved me so naughty Made me weak in the knees Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on I'm so hard to handle I'm selfish and I'm sad Now I've gone and lost the best baby That I ever had Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on I wish I had a river so long I would teach my feet to fly Oh I wish I had a river I made my baby say goodbye It's coming on Christmas They're cutting down trees They're putting up reindeer And singing songs of joy and peace I wish I had a river I could skate away on |
Monday 13 December 2010
Season 5 Episode 10 - music
Season 5 Episode 10 - music
Cold Turkey
First Aired: 12/Dec/2010
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  | "Jingle Bells" by Dean Martin Seth arrives & the Walkers & their guests celebrate together. Lyrics: Dashing through the snow, In a one horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go, Laughing all the way Bells on bob tails ring, Making spirits bright What fun it is to laugh and sing, A sleighing song tonight Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a ride And soon Miss Fanny Bright, Was seated by my side The horse was lean and lank, Misfortune seemed his lot We got into a drifted bank, And then we got upsot Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh yeah Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh |
Season 5 Episode 10 - music
Cold Turkey First Aired: 12/Dec/2010 | |
 | "The Christmas Song" by Ella Fitzgerald Scotty encourages Kevin to call Kitty. Lyrics: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up like eskimos Everybody knows some turkey and some mistletoe Help to make the season bright Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow Will find it hard to sleep tonight They know that Santa's on his way He's loaded lots of toys And goodies on his sleigh And every mother's child is gonna spy To see if reindeer really know how to fly And so, I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two Although its been said Many times, many ways Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to.. You! |
Season 5 Episode 10 - music
Cold Turkey First Aired: 12/Dec/2010 | |
  | "Deck the Halls" by Urban Nation Choir Sarah interrupts the radio station's Christmas party. Lyrics: Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Don we now our gay apparel, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Troll the ancient Yule tide carol, Fa la la la la, la la la la. See the blazing Yule before us, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Strike the harp and join the chorus, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Follow me in merry measure, Fa la la la la, la la la la. While I tell of Yule tide treasure, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Fast away the old year passes, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Hail the new, ye lads and lasses, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Sing we joyous, all together, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Heedless of the wind and weather, Fa la la la la, la la la la. |
Season 5 Episode 10 - music
Cold Turkey First Aired: 12/Dec/2010 | |
 | "Carol of the Bells" by This Ascension Nora's nightmare has her kids & Holly poisoning her eggnog. Lyrics: Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells All seem to say, "throw cares away" Christmas is here, bringing good cheer To young and old, meek and the bold Ding-dong, ding-dong, this is their song With joyful ring, all caroling One seems to hear, words of good cheer From everywhere, filling the air Oh, how they pound, raising the sounds O'er hill and dale, filling the air Gaily they ring, while people sing Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas On and on they sing, on without end Their joyful tone to every home Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells All seem to say, "throw cares away" Ding-dong, ding-dong, this is their song With joyful ring, all caroling One seems to hear, words of good cheer From everywhere, filling the air Oh, how they pound, raising the sounds O'er hill and dale, filling the air Gaily they ring, while people sing Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas On and on they sing, on without end Their joyful tone to every home Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells All seem to say, "throw cares away" Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong ... |
Sunday 12 December 2010
Season 5 Episode 10
Cold Turkey First Aired: 12/Dec/2010 | ||
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Kevin: It's Santa. Hey, hey, it's Santa. Scotty: Oh, yeah. Apparently he has a fondness for a shot of cognac in his cappuccino. Kevin: Would one of you take a picture of me with him? Scotty: Oh, no, no, no, no. Rein it in, Rudolph. He's working at the Christmas fair down the street. Let him get drunk in peace. Oh, look, it's a Christmas card from Joan and Jesse. Saul: Let me see. Scotty: Oh, my gosh. You know, that could be us next year? Our very own little Christmas card family. Jonathan: Saul? Saul: Jonathan? Jonathan: Oh, my God. How are you? Squl: Jonathan, hi. How are you? It's been a long time. Jonathan: Yeah, yeah. You're looking good. Saul: Thanks. Thank you. So are you. Jonathan: I wish I could stay and talk, but I'm late for the "messiah" at Disney hall. Uh, will you call me? Saul: Y.. yeah, I will. Jonathan: Great. Well, merry Christmas. Saul: Merry Christmas. Jonathan: Hope to hear from you soon. Scotty, Kevin: Hallelujah hallelujah, hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah Sarah: I spoke to human resources a week ago about that list. Could somebody please just e-mail it to me? Thank you. Kevin: Kiss me. I'm under the mistletoe. Sarah: Oh, well, look up, frosty. There ain't no mistletoe. Kitty: And there's no swagging on the banister and no pinecone wreath. Justin: And the Christmas tree is just standing there, naked. Kevin: What? What about the village and the train? Justin: Not even unpacked yet. Kevin: What?! Nora: Good, good, good. You're all here. Justin: What's going on, mom? Kevin: Yeah, you're cutting it a little close. Nora: Oh, you have no idea. I can't believe we got a flight out tonight. I hope we make it. Kitty: Oh, no. We're not all flying to the north pole, are we? All: Aw. Nora: No. This isn't easy. Um... well, you know how busy I've been, and Karl and I have not been able to spend as much time together as we would like, and we all like Karl, don't we? I'll take that as a yes. So I... Sarah: Mom, just spit it out. Justin: Seriously. Kitty: Yeah. Nora: I'm not having Christmas this year. I'm going to Santa Fe with Karl. Kevin: W... Nora: I know. It just seems rash and... and impulsive, but I've always dreamed of spending Christmas there, with the snow and the little candles in the paper bags on the rooftops. I know it sounds like a fire hazard, but it looks so beautiful in the magazines, and I'm sure you will all have a much better time without me around being all me. There he is. I have to go. So... the decorations are all stacked in the living room. Take whatever you want, and if you have a problem, one single problem, then call me. I will have my cell phone with me every second. Okay. Here I go. I love you all. Merry Christmas. Kevin: Hmm. I... Justin: Did she just... Kitty: Cancel Christmas? Sarah: Oh, frankly, I'm relieved. Kevin: What kind of mother would do that? Sarah: I'm gonna get back to the office. You guys figure out what you want to do, and I'll be there. Justin: Talk about coal in your stocking. Kitty: Wait a minute. Maybe this is a good thing, guys. Maybe it's time for us to start building our own traditions. I mean, maybe you guys should all come over to my house. Yeah! I'm gonna get a tree. I'm gonna make a turkey. I... Kevin: You know what, Kitty? You don't have to go to all that trouble. Kitty: Oh, no, no, no, no, it's no trouble at all. Kevin: Yeah, you know, your house... I don't know. It's kind of... modern. Our place is perfect. Justin: Okay, let's figure this out, guys. I have a lot riding on it. Kitty: No, Kevin, I really wanna have it at my house. Kevin: Why? You always make fun of the way mom does Christmas. Kitty: I do not. Kevin: You do. Look, let's just do it at mine. It'll be bigger, better, brighter... Kitty: Better? Justin: Well, look, Kevin: I mean... Kitty: Wow. Kevin: No. Kitty: Okay, no. I'm going home. Kevin: No, Kit, I didn't mean "better," like mine would be better... Kitty: We'll talk about it tomorrow, Kevin. Kevin: Kit. Kitty: No. "Better," Kevin? Wow. Justin: I don't care who does it. Please have some figgy freakin' pudding there. Kevin: Kitty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean better. I just meant different. But I still think we should all come here. Kitty: Well, it's too late, Kevin. I already got a tree. Kevin: You know what? We just bought two. Kitty: Oh. Ah! Kevin: Oh. What was that? Kitty: Uh, nothing. Nothing. And guess what else. I found a caterer who works on Christmas. Kevin: I have one word for you... Scotty. Kitty: Okay, fine. So we're at an impasse. We're gonna let Sarah decide because she's the oldest. Kevin: Sarah isn't exactly the grand master of the Christmas parade this year. Kitty: Oh. Um, I gotta go. Well... Kevin: What do you think? I mean, we're still waiting for the Kris Kringle cocoa cups, but so far, pretty good, right? Justin: Um, yeah, well, you know, to... to be honest, I think we could probably use a little more sugar plum and a... a little less... fairy. Kevin: What, I... is it the golden girls tree toppers? Justin: No, Kevin, it's everything, all right? Where... where's... where's the... the toy soldiers? Where's the... the nutcracker? Where's the figgy pudding? Kevin: What? Justin: I'm sorry, but I, I need this Christmas to be like, you know, like the old Christmas movies with... with Jimmy Stewart, where he's... where he's crying. Crying? Because he's happy. You know, like hap-happy tears, Kevin. Kevin: And little miss yule log cabin republican, how is it at her place? Justin: It's a little sad. I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah. Look, Kevin, I really like this girl, okay? And I promised her a Christmas like, uh... I don't know, like... like mom's. Kevin: Wait. Justin: What? Kevin: I know just what we need, without which no Walker Christmas is a Walker Christmas. Your hot nurse is gonna love this. Hold on to your sleigh bells, Bucko. I'm gonna be right back. Ho, ho, ho! Toy: Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! Kitty: "Christmas tree topper, garland, lights." Where's the train? Where's the train? Oh, my God. There is so much stuff. "Decorations, gift wrapping, "Christmas lights. Bows." "Santa's village." Oh, yes, yes, yes. Oh, my... Oh, my God, Kevin. Kevin, you scared me. Kevin: What's going on, Kit? Kitty: Nothing. I just popped by to... to get some tinsel. Kevin: Tinsel? Kitty: Tinsel. You know, for the tree. Kevin: I know what tinsel's for. Kitty: Good. So now I have my tinsel. So I'm going to go. Kevin: Why does it say "Santa's village" on your box? Kitty: It does? Kevin: Mm-hmm. You think you're real crafty, don't you? Only you forgot one thing. Mom puts Santa's village in the "Santa's village" box, but she puts his train... in "candles and icicles." Whoops. Kitty: Really, Kevin, is this what it's come to? Kevin: Why don't you give me the village? Because we all know it doesn't mean anything without the train. Kitty: But the train doesn't mean anything without the village, so... Kevin: I set it up every year. I know where the general store goes, the post office, the little town square gazebo. It would be useless in your hands. Just give me the village. Kitty: This isn't about the village, is it, Kevin? You know, in fact, this is about who's going to carry the Walker torch after mom isn't here anymore. Kevin: Your words, not mine. Kitty: Always the lawyer, aren't you? Kevin: It's so typical of a politician to blame a lawyer. Right from the beginning, you just assumed it was your right. Kitty: So did you. Kevin: No, I'm fighting for my right because I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking that Scotty and I aren't a real family. Kitty: Oh, my God. Did you just play the gay card? Because you come from the most loving, liberal family known to man. Mom couldn't be more gay friendly if she twirled a Baton up Santa Monica boulevard in a Cher costume. Kevin: If you're so tolerant, let me do Christmas. Kitty: Did it ever occur to you that I need to show my son that we are still a family after everything that we've been through? Kevin: I'm not allowed to use the gay card, but you're allowed to pull the widow card? Kitty: I cannot believe that you just said that. Kevin: I'm sorry you're being so intractable. Kitty: I'm not the one foaming at the mouth like some Christmas crackhead. Kevin: Well, maybe we shouldn't do it together this year. Kitty: Fine by me. Go ahead, Kevin. Go have your 2-tree'd, L.G.B.T.'D, politically correct, "don me now my gay apparel" holiday extravaganza without me. Enjoy the train. Kevin: Enjoy the village. | ||
Nora: They would've been a hell of a lot better off without me. Better off without me, without me, without me. Sarah: I told you I would take care of it. Listen, I'll have the money back in the bank account by the end of the month. I didn't think you would make it. Kevin: Little meltdown on the domestic front, but I'm here. Nora: Kevin? Karl: They can't hear you, Nora. Sarah: Nice vest. Kevin: Mm. Karl: You're not here. Kevin's wife: Sorry we're late. The little angels decided their Christmas dresses were too scratchy till their daddy told his princesses how pretty they look. Nora: Kevin's married? To a woman? Kevin's daughters: Merry Christmas, auntie Sarah. Sarah: No sticky fingers. It's lacroix. Nora: With kids? Karl: He always did want children. Kevin's daughter: Let's go look at the presents. Kevin's wife: No peeking. Sarah: Are you ready for this? Kevin: No. But nothing a couple of shots of bourbon won't fix. Nora: Karl, what's happening? Karl: You always thought your kids would've been better off if you'd run away years ago. Well, now you can see for yourself. Nora: Where did I run away to? Karl: A condo in Boca. Nora: Boca? That's impossible. My mother lives there. Karl: Come. There's more to see. Nora: Oh, Oh, my God. Who decorated this place, the tooth fairy? Justin: Hey, Kev, Sarah, this is, uh, angel. Which is perfect for Christmas. Nora: Oh, my God. He's drunk. Karl: Yes, he's always drunk now. You see, there was no one there to rally the troops for his intervention. Justin: She's on the top of the tree. She flies 'cause she's got wings. Kitty: Who's he gonna bring over for Easter... Bunny? Nora: Kitty. Well, why is she mumbling like that? Karl: Without you there to rebel against, she never found her voice. Nora: Oh.. Kevin's daughter: Who's this one from, daddy? Kevin: Well, let's see, shall we? Justin: She's got wings. Kevin: "With love, from grandma Nora." Wow. Kevin's daughter: Who's grandma Nora? Justin: "Who's grandma Nora?" All: hahahahaha Kevin's wife: Oh, you girls are too young to remember. But guess what. She'll be here tonight, so you'll get to see her. Kitty: Yeah, briefly. Holly: Hello, my darlings. Kevin's daughter: Nana! Nana! Kitty: "Nana. Nana." Nora: What is Holly doing here? Karl: You didn't really expect William to remain alone, did you? Nora: Oh! William married Holly? This is her house? Oh, God, Karl. I can't see anymore. Please take me back to Santa Fe. Karl: Oh, Nora, Nora, it's... it's only just begun. Holly: It's so wonderful to see you all here. Kitty: She said with a big fake smile on her face. Holly: Do you think you could try to make yourself presentable for the occasion? Kitty: Oh, yeah. The occasion. Christmas with Eva Braun. Holly: No one is forcing you to live here, Kitty. I'm your meal ticket, not your jailer. Hey, you two little angels, how would you like to watch one of Nana's movies before dinner? Kevin's daughter: Yeah! Holly: How about the one with the chimpanzee? Kevin's daughter: Yeah! Holly: Yes? Okay, let's go. Bye. Kitty: Six months in the jungle with her? No wonder the monkey fired his agent. Sarah: Stay cool, little sister. We stick to the plan, you'll be free of her forever. Nora: Plan? What are they talking about? What plan? Scotty: Excuse me, everybody. Nora: Oh, Scotty! Oh, please tell me he's not as bad as the rest. Scotty: Uh, this is a cheese puff filled with mango peach salsa to keep you busy, and dinner is on its merry way. Kitty: Thank you. Justin: Yeah, great. Kevin: I'm just gonna run to the kitchen and grab some more ice. Kitty: Oh, is that what they're calling it nowadays... ice? Karl: Nora, this way. Scotty: Oh, would you stop? Kevin: Donner can't keep his hands off blitzen. Scotty: Oh, Kevin. Your wife is in the other room. Kevin: Well, then we could steal away to my old bedroom. I kept all my old toys. You could pin your tail on my donkey. Scotty: Ee-aw. Kevin: Yeah. Oh. Nora: Why is he still in the closet? Karl: You weren't there to tell him it was okay to step out of it. Scotty: No, no, no, no, no. This is wrong. We can't keep doing this, Kevin. I... Kevin: Shh. Isn't that better? Scotty: Mm. Sarah: Really, Kevin? Kevin: Thank God I learned the Heimlich Maneuver in the scouts. Are you okay, young man? Scotty: I'm fine. I should really take this. Canape's out. Kevin: Good. Sarah: You're already being blackmailed by one service provider. You trying to make it a matched set? Kevin: Oh, you're one to talk. Philandry isn't nearly as expensive a hobby as embezzlement. Sarah: Well, we're both about to solve our problems, aren't we? Kevin: How did my older sister become so cold-hearted? Sarah: It's just another termination as far as I'm concerned. Nora: Termination? Who... who's she terminating? Oh, Karl, is something terrible about to happen? Karl: Oh, beyond your imagining. Justin: Hey-o. Whoa. Hey, hey, this is... This is my type of Christmas, huh? Ay-yi-yi-yi. Ooh, that's sweet. Sarah: I'm not surprised. It's powdered sugar for the futzenfassen. Kevin: Pfeffernussen. Sarah: Shut up, Kevin. Justin, pull yourself together. You're pathetic. We've got a job to do. ♪ Carol of the Bells ♪ by This Ascension♪ Listen Justin: Look, Sarah, I don't think this is a good idea. Sarah: Think of it this way, little brother... One-fifth of the money dad left her can be yours. A lifetime supply of Peruvian pleasure powder. Come on, boys. It's showtime. Nora: I didn't raise them to be like this. Karl: Exactly, Nora. You didn't raise them at all. Follow me. Kevin: Holly, dinner's gonna be a little delayed. Could you go check on the kids, make sure they're snug as a bug upstairs? Holly: I would love to. They're probably at the part where the chimp proposes. Kevin: Yeah. Nora: Oh, my God. They're going to kill holly, aren't they? Sarah: There's no turning back now. This is for the warm and personal checks you sent us every birthday. Kitty: For all those postcards from exotic places. Kevin: For the college trip that you almost took us on. Justin: For being there when I pitched my perfect game, in spirit, anyway. Sarah: And one for Tommy. Justin: Oh. Sarah: We all know how that worked out. Nora: What happened to Tommy? Karl: Believe me, Nora, you... you don't wanna know. Holly: Ah, the girls are all cozy in the den. You should see them. They're in stitches. Nora: Holly... Don't drink the eggnog. They're trying to kill you. Sarah: Any final words, holly? Holly: For you, Nora, for bringing us all together as one big, happy family. Kevin: Welcome home, mother. Nora: It's not holly they're going to kill. It's me! No! Nora: Oh, God, Karl, it was... it was awful. I mean, my children were... were monsters. They were ruthless and... and conniving. This cold turkey is not working for me, not on... on Christmas. What was I thinking? I wanna go home. Karl: Oh, Nora. Nora: No. No, no, no. I'm not gonna go home and then call them all and drag them over to my house. I won't take over. It won't be all about me. I'll just sit there quietly and... and... and enjoy them. I mean, I... I have a right to enjoy them. They're extraordinary people, and I love them. And that's a good thing. Karl: Yes. It's beautiful. | ||
Jonathan: Come in. Hey! Come in. Come in. I'm so glad you called. Uh, sit, please. God, it's been a long time. I guess I was still anchoring back then. Loaded half the time. Were you watching the night I confused Gorbachev with Baryshnikov? Saul: No, I, I don't think so. Jonathan: Yes. Saul: Listen, Jonathan, this is a little difficult for me... Jonathan: Difficult? What is it, Saul? Saul: Last year, I found out that I'm H.I.V. Positive. Oh. I'm fine. I mean, I... I'm... I'm good. My... my... my numbers are good. But you can imagine what a shock it was for me. Jonathan: Well, actually, I can. When I found out I was, it was.... Like the world stopped. But that was a long time ago. They know much more about it now. Squl: I was infected a long time ago, too, Jonathan. Jonathan: And... you just found out? Saul: I didn't think there was any reason to be tested. Why didn't you call me, Jonathan? Jonathan: Call you? Saul: Wow... You know, last year, I thought that I'd get all modern and I put myself on Facebook, and there you were, writing about your experience with the disease on your homepage. Jonathan: Yeah, well, it's part of my job now. I use my own story as a way of educating. Saul: Do you? With all this education, how come you didn't see fit to let me know? Isn't that one of the basic tenants of this organization, to... to... to inform your sexual partners? Isn't that it? Why... why didn't you call me? Jonathan: Oh, my God. Oh, Saul. Saul: You don't remember sleeping with me. Jonathan: No. Saul: I thought that I was falling in love with you. Jonathan: Why didn't you say something? Saul: I did, the night we slept together. I remember exactly what I said. I said, "I could fall in love with someone like you." Jonathan: Oh, my God. Saul: You... You really don't remember the bad Chinese food we ate that night? You don't remember watching Lena Horne fill her coupe de ville at the gas station... On the corner of vine... You don't remember. Okay. I'll... I'll fill you in. We ended up in your bed. And obviously, it didn't mean anything to you at all. Jonathan: Saul, if I gave this to you... Well, there's nothing I can say. ♪ Deck the Halls ♪ by Urban Nation Choir♪ Listen Frank: Oh. I'm sorry. We'll try and keep it down. ♪ The Christmas Song ♪ by Ella Fitzgerald♪ Listen Scotty: Okay. Somebody has to be the first to blink. Will you call her? Please. Kevin: Kitty? Kitty: What are you doing? Kevin: Just watching this stupid train go round and round like a dog trying to bite off its own tail. How about you? Kitty: Oh, I'm just sitting here staring at this dumb village. It's like there was a chemical disaster and all the little people had to move away. Kevin: So what are we gonna do? Kitty: Ugh. I don't know. I don't know. Should we call mom? Kevin: No, let's not do that. She wants to be alone with Karl. And we have to figure out how we can do this on our own. Kitty: Oh, hang on. Oh, it's Sarah. You know she's always been the tiebreaker. Hang on. Hi, Sarah. Sarah: Hey. Kitty: I'm on with Kevin. I'm gonna put you on conference. Sarah: Listen, whoever's having Christmas, just count me out. Kitty: Why? Sarah: I fired an old lady and her wooden dummy yesterday. Kevin: You fired a wooden dummy? Sarah: Yes. I'm evil. Kitty: No, Sarah. You're not evil. Kevin: She did fire a wooden dummy, Kitty. Kitty: Well, that doesn't make her evil, Kevin. I mean, don't you remember what mom always used to say? That bad people are not really bad, they're... they're just afraid. Sarah: She also said that the shark in "jaws" only killed people because it was afraid that a boat might run over its young. Kevin: Well, maybe she's right. You know, that's why I bit your head off last night, Kit, because I was afraid. You know, laugh all you want, but growing up in this family, where it's all about family... I was always scared that I was gonna be the only one never to have that. Kitty: Yeah, well, you're not the only one who's scared. I've been so concerned with making it on my own and proving to myself that I don't need anybody that I forgot that I'm not on my own, and to make it even worse, I actually like the guy that I'm not on my own with. Kevin: So what about you, Sarah? Come on. We're all baring our souls here. What are you scared of? Sarah: Maybe I am scared that... I'm gonna shipwreck the company. Kevin: Yeah, maybe. Maybe all our fears can come true. So what? Walkers aren't grinches. They're Whos. And when the Grinch did steal Christmas, and all the trees and presents and decorations were gone, what did the Whos do? Sarah: You went boogie boarding on Christmas Eve? Oh, and Santa speaks Spanish. Wow. Well, honey, you call me first thing when you wake up, okay? Okay, baby. Bye. Mom, you're back. Nora: Yeah. Sarah: Oh, my... Hey, everyone, guess what. Mom's back. I'm not kidding. Kitty: Mom. Sarah: She's back. Mom. Nora: Hi. Sarah: You're the last person we were expecting. Kevin: Mom! Kitty: Mom! Justin: Oh, my God! Sarah: Merry Christmas. What happened? Kevin: What happened? Kitty: What are you doing? Justin: Hey. Norah: Well, it's a long story. Kivin: Whatever the story is, please, please don't ever do that again. Kitty: Yeah. That's not okay. Justin: Come here, mom. Oh, thank God you're home. Kevin: Let's drink. Mom, eggnog? Nora:Yes, I'd... I'd love some eggnog. Sarah: I would love some eggnog. Kitty: Yeah. Kevin: Coming up. I think we all need some eggnog. Seth: Hi. Kitty: Hi. Hi. Seth: Hi. Kitty: Oh, my gosh. Hi. Hi. Sarah: Seth. The grad student. Kevin: Oh. Kitty: Hey, okay, everyone. This is Seth. Nora: Hi, Seth. Kevin: Hi, Seth. Sarah: Hi, Seth. Justin: Hi, Seth. ♪ Jingle Bells ♪ by Dean Martin ♪ Listen Seth: Wow. Uh, there are... There's so many of you, and so few of me. Sarah: Welcome to Walker-ville. Have some eggnog. Kitty: Yeah, have some eggnog. Sarah: Merry Christmas! Louise: "And scrooge was better than his word. "And to tiny Tim, he was a second father." That's the least he could do. " And so tiny Tim observed, 'God bless us, everyone." Kevin: What's going on with you? You've been so quiet all night. Saul: I just didn't feel like talking to anyone. I called that guy I met at the restaurant. Kevin: Oh, and? Saul: And, uh, I'll... I'll talk about it some other time. Right now I just need a hug from my nephew. Kevin: Oh. Come on. Uh-oh. Look out. Watch your backs. Coming through. Justin: What is that? Scotty: Figgy pudding. Nora: It's on fire. Angel: Oh, that's figgy pudding? Scotty: That's the point. It's... it's a traditional Victorian recipe, although, I did throw in a little saffron and candied ginger. Kitty: Of course you did. Angel: Thank you. Kitty: Wow. Scotty: Here you go. For you. Nora: Okay. Scotty: Don't mind the mess. Nora: Whoa. It's just right. Justin: Thanks, mom. Sarah: It's such a treat, having you with us tonight. I wanted to thank you for coming. Louise: Well, thank you for taking the ax out of my neck. Sarah: It was easy once I realized that the world will still turn with an hour less news on a Sunday morning. Louise: Well, then you've learned a lot. Seth: Well, this makes going home for the holidays not seem all that bad. Kitty: Oh, yeah. Home. You know, I shut you up the other day. You were about to say something about home. What... what is it that you wanted to tell me? Seth: I don't think you want to hear that now. Kitty: No, I do. I do. I really do. I am finished with mystery and I want full disclosure. Seth: Okay, um, Well, uh... Kitty: Oh, my God. Do you have a girlfriend? Are you dating somebody else? Seth: You know Dean Whitley? Kitty: You're dating Dean Whitley? Seth: No. Uhhhh, no, no. uh... She... she's my mom. Kitty: Sh, sh, she's my boss. She's your mother? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Seth, why didn't you tell me this before? Seth: I tried. Kitty: Why didn't you try harder? Oh, my God. Seth: Because I was afraid. I... I was afraid that I was gonna lose you. Kitty: Ah.... Seth: Have I lost you? Saul: So amidst all this abundance of holly and Ivy, I... I just wanted to remind my beloved family of our Jewish blood that flows through all of our veins. And I know Hanukkah has passed, and we've lit all the candles, and, uh, I just wanted to share a little blessing that's offered in celebration of new beginnings. [Jewish blessing] ♪ River ♪ by Angus Stone ♪ Listen Saul: Which is to say, "blessed art thou, king of the universe, who has given us life, who has sustained us, who has enabled us to reach this day." Kitty: Amen. Scotty: Amen. Nora: Amen. |
Monday 6 December 2010
Season 5 Episode 9 - music
Get a Room First Aired: 05/Dec/2010 | |
 | "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam Kevin & Scotty make plans to go to Vegas. Lyrics: Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,.. As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,.. I’m a lucky man to count on both hands The ones I love,.. Some folks just have one, Others they got none, aw huh,.. Stay with me,.. Let’s just breathe. Practiced are my sins, Never gonna let me win, aw huh,.. Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,.. Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world To make me bleed. Stay with me,.. You’re all I see. Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,.. No one knows this more than me. As I come clean. I wonder everyday as I look upon your face, aw huh,.. Everything you gave And nothing you would take, aw huh,.. Nothing you would take,.. Everything you gave. Did I say that I need you? Oh, Did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,.. No one know this more than me. As I come clean. Nothing you would take,.. everything you gave. Hold me till I die,.. Meet you on the other side. |
Sunday 5 December 2010
Season 5 Episode 9
Get a Room First Aired: 05/Dec/2010 | ||
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Kitty: Hi, Kevin. Kevin: When you were trying to adopt, how much weight did you gain? Kitty: Please tell me you're not emotionally eating. Kevin: Well, that depends if you think a cannoli, two bear claws, and a lindzer torte constitutes breakfast. Kitty: You guys are shoe-ins. The social worker is going to love you. Kevin: Well, what if she hates us? One bad impression is all it takes. Everything has to be perfect. Kitty: You and Scotty are a foster adoption dream team. Kevin: I'm a nervous guy, okay? Okay, for a child... What if there's a flood? Kitty: Oh, my God. This barista is totally hitting on me. Kevin: Kit, I'm in the middle of a crisis here. Kitty: Oh, no, you're not, and besides, this is gonna take your mind off of it. Kevin: Oh, okay. What does he look like? Kitty: He's very cute in a genius bar kind of way. Kevin: Oh, a brownie. Hallelujah. Kitty: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He wrote his number on my coffee cup. What do I do? Kevin: That's Sarah. I gotta go. Bye. Kitty: Wait, Kevin? Kevin? Kevin: Hi, queen of all media. Sarah: I just saw mom making out with our on-air psychiatrist in the studio. Kevin: You gonna fire her? Sarah: No, I wouldn't have just cause. But it would be fun. Kevin: I can't believe you work with mom. Scotty: I don't. She's an employee of one radio station of five that I own. She's a very small ant in my kingdom. Now why did you call earlier? Kevin: I wanted to know good preschools in L.A... Just in case the social worker asks what we're thinking in terms of education. Sarah: You know, there is such a thing as being overly prepared. Now listen, I'm trying to get outta here. Luc's off to China tomorrow, so if you don't have anything else... Kevin: Oh, right. So what are the plans for tonight? Sarah: I'm gonna surprise Luc with something special. Kevin: Like what? Sarah: Well, if I tell you, it won't be a surprise for very long, will it? Kevin: I think this brownie was a little much. I better go. Sarah: The what? Nora: What? Sarah: What? Oh, nothing. Nora: Sarah, honey, I, I hope you're not upset about the... Sarah: Mom, you can kiss anyone you want at work, okay? I never let it stop me. Kevin: No, me neither. Nora: Oh, for God sake, Sarah. Would you please warn me when there are other people in the room? Kevin: Don't worry, mom. I have to go. Say good-bye to Luc for me, Sarah. Sarah: Okay, bye. Nora: Good luck today, honey. Sarah: Oh. Kevin: Bye. Scotty: Can we enjoy this? Foster adoption is supposed to be joyful. It's about starting a family. Kevin: Okay, but we have to control the variables. You know, strangers come into this restaurant every day. Scotty: Kevin, they're customers. Kevin: All right. But is that a safe environment for a child? I mean, what if there's a flood? Scotty: We're getting a visit from the social worker, not the FBI. Kevin: Oh, we need to get fingerprinted, too. Don't worry. The FBI is coming. Staff: Scotty, have you seen my bag? Scotty: Uh, no. Kevin? Kevin: No. Staff: It was a little brown bag with a brownie in it. Kevin: Oh. Oh, yeah. I ate it. Scotty: What? I saw it. I was hungry. It all happened so fast after that. I'll buy you a new one. Scotty: You can't, actually. Staff: Uh, my prescription's up. That was the last of my stash. Thanks a lot. Kevin: Prescription for what? Scotty: Medical marijuana. It's for his back. Scotty: How are you feeling? Kevin: I am so stoned right now. You have to help me. Scotty: Okay, Kevin, why don't you go lie down in the bedroom or something? Kevin: 'Cause the social worker's gonna be here any minute. Scotty: No, I told you. She's not coming until tomorrow. Kevin: People like me do not deserve children. I should be behind bars, Scotty. I'm gonna turn myself in. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I've only been stoned ever once before in my life. I thought I should try pot before I went to college, so I bought a joint from Ozzie Archibald. It was as big as a cigar. Scotty: Okay, that's called a blunt. Kevin: I, I made sure no one was home, and then I went out to the yard and I smoked it. Scotty: You smoked the whole thing? Kevin: Half. I don't know. I buried the rest in Justin's old sandbox, just in case the police found it. Then I locked myself in my room, read an old Spanish textbook, 'cause I thought if I could just focus on something, anything... Then mom came home... I'm starting to freak out again. Scotty: Okay, Kevin, breathe. Come sit down. Kevin: She needed help with the groceries, so I had to go back into the kitchen, and she just looked like a giant piñata floating above me... Scotty: Really? Kevin: And then she started speaking in Spanish. Scotty: Really? Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: There must have been something else in that joint. Kevin: Well, I don't know. I don't do drugs. I have to find Sarah. Scotty: Sarah? Kevin: Yeah. Sarah. Scotty: Wh... Sarah? Kevin: When Sarah came back, she immediately saw how baked I was, and she managed to get me from paranoid schizophrenic into groggy, stupid, and hungry. Scotty: Okay, well, wh, what did she do? Kevin: I don't know. I have to call her. Scotty: You can't call Sarah. She's got some big extravaganza with Luc tonight. Kevin: Well, you're starting to speak in Spanish, so I don't have a choice. Luc: I wasn't expecting a honeymoon until after we were married. Sarah: Call it a sneak preview. Luc: Oh! Sarah: Oh, God. I'm so... Oh... Luc: Gosh. Oh! Sarah: Luc, I'm so sorry. Luc: It's okay. It's okay. Sarah: Let me get some ice. Luc: Yeah. Sarah: Oh. I'll get you a towel. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Luc: Oh. Hello. Hey, Kev. Ow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a surprise. No, we're fine. Yeah, at hotel Velone. Kevin? Hello? Weird. Uh, Kevin just hung up on me. Sarah: Please tell me that you didn't tell him where we were. Luc: Uh, so what if I did? Sarah: Well, then it would only be a matter of time before they come over. They'll wanna see the room. Gay people love this hotel. Luc: All right. Sarah: I'm sorry, babe. Luc: Ouch. I know you want tonight to be perfect, but no one is coming over here, not even your brother. Sarah: Yes, well, even so, I think we should have all cell phones off. Complete radio silence. Luc: Oh! Sarah: Oh! Honey, I am so sorry. Oh. Oh! Luc: Oh! Ay! Ay-yi-yi! Sarah: Oh, God. Oh, no. Luc: Ay! Sarah: Ah. Oh, ow. Let me see. It's bleeding. Luc: Ah. Gosh. If this is a sneak preview, I can only imagine what a real honeymoon is gonna be like. Luc: Hello. Scotty: Luc. Hi, um, it's Scotty. We're kind of downstairs in the lobby. Kevin: They make me feel better. I wanna hold one. Scotty: He really needs to see Sarah. Yes. Thank you. Okay. We'll be up in two minutes. Bye. Okay, let's go. Sarah: Oh, my God. I gotta call mom. I just ran into Karl West downstairs checking in, ordering strawberries. Scotty: Sarah. Sarah: Scotty. What the hell are you doing here? Scotty: I'm so sorry. I know we're intruding. But I didn't know where else we could go. Sarah: "We"? Scotty: Yeah. Luc: Kevin is in the bathroom. Sarah: Oh, no. Scotty: He ate a pot brownie. Sarah: Oh, God. Kevin: It was an accident. Sarah: All right, Kevin. Come out here. Kevin: I'm so sorry. It's just, last time this happened, you somehow helped me get through it. Sarah: Are people speaking Spanish? Kevin: Si, un poquito. Sarah: Oh, God. Luc: I thought we should help. Kevin: I'm so pathetic. I'm so sorry. Look, I know you can't help me. I have to find my own way home. Sarah: No, Kevin. Lie down. Kevin: Okay. Sarah: We'll get you some coffee or something, okay? Scotty: Yeah. Oh, coffee. Is that what you did last time? Sarah: I don't remember, but his problems are way more serious than that right now. The police are outside. Kevin: No, they're not. Sarah: Yes, they are. I passed them on the way up... A whole S.W.A.T. team headed this way. Kevin: That's ridiculous. Sarah: Hotels have dogs to catch people like you, Kevin. Kevin: What am I supposed to do?! Sarah: You gotta pull it together. What's your birthday? Kevin: Uh, April 18, 1971. Sarah: Mother's maiden name? Kevin: Holden. Sarah: Last 4 of your social? Kevin: 5-3-5-2. Sarah: Is that right? Kevin: I'm not sure. Sarah: Kevin? Kevin: Yeah, it's right. Sarah: Yes? Good. You feel better now? Kevin: Yeah. A, a little. Maybe. I guess. Sarah: Good. That's what I did last time. I just scared the crap out of him. Something about the adrenaline shot. Scotty: Mm. Sarah: I gotta call mom. Luc: Hey, Sarah, don't get involved. Kevin: What's going on with mom? Sarah: Karl just checked in to the hotel for an afternoon romp. Kevin: Oh, with mom? Wait. She's here? Oh, my God. I'm freaking out again. Sarah: No, not with mom. See? That's the point. Kevin: What's the point? Sarah: Dr. Karl... That's who I should call. I should call Dr. Karl. Luc: Don't get involved with your mother's romantic relationship. Sarah: I'm not gonna let this guy break her heart. Luc: You don't even know what's going on. Sarah: You didn't see him. He was like a deer in the headlights. Kevin doesn't even look as guilty as this guy. Luc: Sarah, I'm warning you. Sarah: Why don't you two take Mr. Hemphead for a walk, sober him up? Luc: And what about our romantic evening? Sarah: It'll happen. Kevin: Stop fighting. Scotty: Okay, sweetheart. Come on. Let's go. Let's get up. Luc: I, I'll take care of them. Do what you need to do. Sarah: Don't pet the dogs, Kevin. Nora: Kitty's here, too? Kevin: I'm feel... Mom? Sarah: We're all here. Nora: Oh, God. I should just jump. What floor are we on? Sarah: Uh, eight. Nora: That ought to do it. Kevin: God, I love pizza. Kitty: Me gusta pizza, tambien. Kevin: Don't do that! Kitty: I'm kidding. Scotty: I'm sorry. I just... Kevin: That's not funny. Kitty: Oh! How the hell did this happen to you? Kevin: It was an accident. Scotty: Well, it wouldn't have happened if you weren't stuffing food down your throat this morning. Kevin: I was nervous. Scotty: Kevin, there's nothing to be nervous about. Kitty: Kevin, the state of California is not going to turn you down. Do you know how many needy kids there are... Kevin: Well, maybe that's why I'm freaking out, because this is finally going to happen. Scotty: Oh, my God. I can't win with you. You're nervous we won't get a kid. You're nervous we will get a kid. Kevin: I'm a nervous guy, okay? Scotty: Okay. Kitty: Okay, okay. Scotty: Could we order more pizza? Kitty: Oh, I didn't even order it, actually. Seth went out to get more... Pizza. Kevin: Why did you send him home anyway? Kitty: He neglected to tell me that he's a student at Wexley. Scotty: Oh, are you dating one of your students? Kitty: No. Kevin: It's not illegal to date a student so long as he's not your student. Kitty: I'm a republican. I'm a conservative. And according to Dean Whitley, I'm a living testament to family values. Kevin: You know what I think? I think you can feel whatever you want. So stop worrying about whether conservative women should sleep with 20 year olds... Kitty: 27. Kevin: Or what the dean of family values thinks of you. Live. Kitty: Wow. Kevin: Yeah. I think I'm finally sober. Scotty: Mm. It's the social worker. Hello. Yes. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Is it... is it serious? Kevin: What? Scotty: Oh, of cour... Yeah. No problem. Kevin: What? Scotty: Bye. Kevin: What? Scotty: Social worker has to reschedule. Apparently her kid's really sick. Kevin: After all that buildup? Scotty: Yeah. Guess I should go back to work. ♪ Just Breathe ♪ by Pearl Jam ♪ Listen Kevin: Wait. You know... We haven't had much time lately for just us. Scotty: That's true. Kevin: And it hasn't been the easiest couple of months. Scotty: No. Kevin: Right. So why don't you and I check into a hotel room? Scotty: No, not... Kevin: No, it could be like a little second honeymoon. Scotty: We'd have to put some serious distance between us and your family. Kevin: Is Nepal far enough? Scotty: No. But Vegas might be. I could call my sous chef and she could cover for me. If we leave now... we could be hours away before they even know we're gone. Kevin: Call her. Scotty: Really? Kevin: Yeah. Let's go. Scotty: Okay. Kevin: I have a great idea of what we're gonna do. |
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