Season 2 Episode 10

The Feast of Epiphany First Aired: 18/Jan/2008

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Sarah:Coffee break. Bad time? Kevin: Yeah. No. A.. A little. Um.. Look at this. It's from Jason. Sarah: Still e-mailing your ex? Kevin: I e-mailed him once after the wedding. You know, a very standard, "I'm sorry we broke up," you know, "I still care about you" you know. He e-mails back a very un-standard, "I'm coming home." Sarah: Oh, my God ! Kevin: I know. He wants to have lunch. Sarah: When? Kevin: I don't know. He's being so vague. Sarah: Are you gonna tell Scotty? Kevin: Why would I do that? Sarah: You should. Kevin: He almost broke up with me after the wedding 'cause he's afraid I'm still into Jason. Sarah: Well, are you? Kevin: Well, who made you my conscience? What are you, Jiminy Cricket? Sarah: Well, you know, maybe you need a conscience. Well, all the men in this family could do with a little cricket on their shoulder. Kevin: What do you mean, "all the men"? Sarah: Nothing. Kevin: Which men? Justin? Tommy? Saul? Who? Sarah: I don't know anything. Kevin: I can't believe I have to go to this tonight. How could Tommy be so stupid? Scotty: Oh, please, let's not judge. I mean, we're accidentally living together. If Jason were to come home tomorrow, I'd be back in my Ranchero. Kevin: Why... Why would you think Jason's coming... Why would you be back in your Ranchero? Scotty: I was kidding. Come on, cut your brother some slack. No one's perfect. Kevin: Well, you know, try and be the perfect family for some Republican operative my mom has the hots for. It's making me a little nervous. Scotty: You keep saying he's a Republican. I'm far more impressed she might be dating a black man. Kevin: A black Republican. Only my mom. Kitty: Robert doesn't want to have children. Kevin: Wow. A little late for that kind of information. Robert: Wait. Since we're being honest here, did your boyfriend know that my brother's coming back and you guys are having lunch? Kevin: That's none of your business. Sarah: What is going on in here? Kitty: Sarah, guess what? Robert doesn't want to have children. Robert: I never said that! I said that I am ambivalent... Kitty: Keep your voice down! Robert: ...about the timing, and that's different. Kevin: Not to me, but I'm a lawyer. Sarah: I'm with him. Justin: Guys, what's going on? Mom's freaking out. We're supposed to be impressing Isaac. Kitty: You know what? I don't need to impress Isaac. Sarah: No, the thing is, Kitty, that Mom likes him. Like, really likes him. Kitty: Mom has a crush on Isaac? Justin: That's gross. Kevin: Yeah, she does, and if he breaks her heart, I'll sue him. Robert: Him? What about you? You're about to drag my brother back into your psycho, melodramatic romantic... Kitty: Shhhhhhhhh. Kevin: "Psycho, melodramatic"? Justin: Jason's coming back from Malaysia? Sarah: Shhh, shhh. Robert: He's already having a date with him! Kevin: It's not a date! Okay? We agreed to meet for lunch so we can talk. You know what? I'm allowed to. I'm single. I can change my mind if I want to. Not that I would, okay? So get off my case. I'm not the one who's married. Robert: What does that mean? Kitty: What is that supposed to mean? Justin: Kevin. Kevin: Nothing. Sarah: Come on. We can't keep it to ourselves any longer. Kitty: What? Kevin: Yes, we can. Shut up. Scotty: No, what? What? Kevin: Shut up. Shut... Justin: No, no, Sarah. Kitty: What? Kevin: Hi. Yeah, are you busy? No, no. Look, I... There's just something I want to say. This really is no big deal, and I certainly don't want it to become a big deal. No, no, no. It's not that. Look, Scotty, Jason is coming back. He contacted me. No, no. He e-mailed. Yeah, no. I just... Look, I just thought you should know.