Season 2 Episode 9

Holy Matrimony First Aired: 2/Dec/2007

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Kevin: So you must be happy with all of the photographers outside. Tommy: Are you kidding me? You can't pay for that kind of publicity. So, um you guys back together? Kevin: You know, we're just in the process of, you know, becoming a "we." Depending on what your definition of "we" is. Scotty: He's such a romantic. Kevin: It's not that. Uncle Jack: Oh, no. Not this putz. Kevin: Hey, everyone. Uncle Jack. I can call you that, right? Now that we're almost family. Uncle Jack: I don't think so. No. Come on, troops. Let's go find our spots. Let's go find our places. Come on, kids. Kevin: Well, that was unpleasant. So just... just be good to Kitty. Robert: Better than you were to my brother? Kevin: That's unfair. Robert: He is half a world away trying to make a difference with his life. He is all alone and you dump him. Now it's none of my business, so I'm just going to get through this. I'm gonna be cordial. And that's what we should do for Kitty's sake. Kevin: Of course. Scotty: Any chance I can take another picture? Kevin: No, you only get one. I can't believe the entire McCallister clan are giving me the cold shoulder. I mean, what did Jason tell them? Scotty: No idea. Oh, God. Look at what your mom's date wrote. "Stop the erosion of civil rights. Peace and love, Stan." Kevin: You know, I'm done justifying this breakup. Scotty: Then don't. Kevin: Well, why am I the bad guy? You know, I didn't set out to hurt Jason. What... You know, I'm not the only one to blame here. In fact, he's... Scotty: Okay, enough! Done. Stop. I'm not here as a friend to listen to you endlessly go on about your ex-boyfriend. Because however you define what we are, we're not platonic anymore. And the fact that you're willing to obsess over Jason... Kevin: I'm not obsessed. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Scotty: I'm gonna take a walk. ♪ Start A War ♪ by The National ♪ Listen Kevin: I can't believe I made it through that entire wedding sober. Scotty: You were in lockdown. Kevin: Yeah, with Stan. Like a new, special kind of torture. Scotty: Yeah, kind of like being stuck talking to a bunch of relatives you don't know. Kevin: Yeah, I'm sorry. Look, I was the worst date today. Scotty: "Date" implies you actually see the person. Kevin: I know. I just... You know, I didn't know Jason's family were going to get to me like that. Scotty: Get to you? You were making death threats. Kevin: Oh, yeah, yeah, do I look like an assassin? You can't get mad at me for being upset at a bunch of people I don't even know, acting like I'm the gay guy who doesn't know how to commit. Scotty: Then why did you stand there telling everyone we're still trying to define the word "we"? Kevin: Because you said you wanted to take things slow, Scotty. Scotty: You're not over him, Kev. At least that's what it feels like to me. Kevin: Okay, maybe I'm not over Jason completely, but I am getting there. Scotty, I wanna be with you. Scotty: Me, too. But sometimes just because you want something doesn't mean it's possible.