Season 2 Episode 15

Moral Hazard First Aired: 4/May/2008

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Kevom: Mom, just send a messenger. Okay, fine, send Justin. Yeah, he's cheaper. Okay, just tell him one o'clock. Bye. Scotty: Hey, I thought we were having lunch today. Kevin: Yes, we were. It's... Okay, look, Sarah's made a really bad deal, Mom is freaking out. I really need to get into it, okay? I'm so sorry. I know we had a plan. Scotty: Kevin, it's lunch. Not my bar mitzvah. Kevin: Yeah, no. I just don't want you to think that I don't respect your time, because I do. And I will totally make this up to you. Scotty: Good. How about changing our light bulbs for those eco ones I got? Kevin: As soon as I get home, I'm on it. And you know what? Not just that, but from now on, no more plastic bottles, no more blasting the AC, and what else? Scotty: Using the canvas bags when you go grocery shopping? Kevin: The canvas bag. I love that bag. Scotty: Okay, Kevin? There is no way you care this much about the carbon footprint of this loft. I wish you did, but you don't. I know why you've been acting guilty lately, and I've been letting you go on in this over-apologizing, please-Scotty mode, but it's too much. Kevin: What do you mean? Scotty: Kevin, just because I didn't like the incredibly lame way you pseudo-proposed to me over a hospital bill, doesn't mean I'm not happy with our relationship exactly as it is now. Kevin: You are? Scotty: Of course. We don't need to rush anything. I love how things have been going. So stop acting so guilty and go to work. Kevin: Okay, look, I'll get home early, we'll get our green on, anything you want. Scotty: You're doing it again. Kevin: Sorry. ♪ Warm Whispers ♪ by Missy Higgins ♪ Listen Kevin: Scotty? Scotty: Wait, wait, wait! Allow me. Kevin: You changed the light bulbs. Scotty: Don't sound so disappointed. Kevin: No, I'm not. It's just, you know, I was supposed to do that. Scotty: Well, you seemed a little stressed, so I've given you a break. Kevin: Really? I can't think why. Scotty: That bad? Kevin: Well, let me see. First, I was dealing with the family business being obliterated, when Justin announced he has on occasion been attracted to Rebecca, our sister. Scotty: What? Kevin: Believe me, it goes on. Then Sarah calls me over because she's agonizing over dating the guy whose deal obliterated the family business. But, thank you, the pièce de réistance? Saul, who signed off on the deal that got the business obliterated, after being arrested for a DUI for plowing his car into a tree, because apparently he's lost the will to live, finally came out to me. Scotty: Oh, my God. Is he okay? Kevin: He will be. I think. But, you know, it's like, all these crazy people in my family are in this insane free-fall and completely incapable of being happy. And then I look at Saul, who has missed his life entirely. And I realize how lucky I am because I get to come home to someone who is kind and caring, and who changes the light bulbs, and... Marry me. Scotty: What? Kevin: I mean it. I don't want to wait. I don't want... I want to make this official. Scotty: Because I changed the light bulbs? Kevin: No. No. Well, yeah, kind of. Because, Scotty, that's who you are. I am completely, completely in love with you. I even love the things about you that I hate. Because you make me feel like I don't have to be anyone other than who I am. And to me, that feels like family. And that's what I want us to be. I want us to be a family because that never ends. I'm doing this all wrong. Scotty, I am asking you, will you please marry me? Scotty: Yes. Yes, Kevin. I'll marry you.