Season 4 Episode 5

Last Tango in Pasadena First Aired: 25/Oct/2009

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Scotty: I can't believe you made these yourself. Michelle: With all the orders that I'm getting, I can barely keep up. I'm gonna have to figure out a way to increase production. I can't do it myself, not while working double waitressing shifts. Scotty: Well, how much do you think you need? Michelle: $10,000 should cover the materials, but then there's also... Hi. Kevin: Hi... Scotty: Michelle. Kevin: Michelle, of course. How are... Wow. It's... it's been a while. Scotty: Oh, are those for me? Kevin: Uh, sorry, no. They're for Kitty. Michelle: Hi. Kevin: Hi. Scotty: Michelle has been busy making handbags. Kevin: Wow, you made these? Scotty: She has her own line. She's looking for investors. But I said we needed to talk about it first. Kevin: Of cour... of course, yeah. We should... Yeah, we should talk, definitely. Michelle: I have a business plan and everything, and you should trust my judgment, because I was the first one to say that you two were meant for each other. Kevin: Yes, you're definitely right about that. Um, I'm sure Scotty told you, Uh, we... we want to have a baby. Michelle: Yeah, he said that you were gonna put it off for a little while, though, right? Scotty: Yes. Kevin: Uh, well, yes and no. Uh, you see, we actually met with a surrogacy agency, and you would not believe how much they charge. And, um, seeing as this is something we want to do eventually, I'm not sure if we want to tie ourselves in to any financial commitments. Michelle: Oh. Oh, okay. I... I understand. Just out of curiosity, how much is it? Kevin: Oh, uh, it's... it's, uh, it's well into the six figures. Michelle: That's how much a surrogate makes? Kevin: Oh, well, you know, there's a... there's a whole list of people you have to pay... the agency, the egg donor, uh, doctors... and we want a local surrogate, so that's another up-charge. And there's a year-long waiting list. Michelle: Oh, my God. Scotty: What's the matter? Michelle: Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking? Kevin: I don't know. Scotty: What are you thinking? Michelle: I could be your surrogate. Kevin: Oh, that's so funny. Michelle: No, no, I... I'm serious. I mean, I could quit my job, and that way, I can make my handbags full-time, and I could have your baby. And it'd save you guys, like, a ton of money. You guys, it's perfect. Kevin: Look, this is a huge step, and I'd rather do it the normal way, which is through an agency. Scotty: And normal to you is picking some stranger out of a book? Kevin: That's how it's done. Scotty: Well, normal to me is finding someone I know who cares about us and who's invested in going through this process with us. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with her being our surrogate. Scotty: Why? Kevin: You have to admit, she's a little flaky. Scotty: She is not. She's my friend. And she helped me through a lot of really tough times when a lot of people labeled me as flaky. You know what? I feel like this is another case of my opinion not mattering as much as yours does.. Kevin: I'm s... I'm... Scotty: Would you mind not taking a text message while I'm talking to you? Kevin: It's from Kitty. "You should really come over to mom's." I have to go. I'm really sorry. Scotty: Kevin, I really... ugh. Kevin: No, I'm sorry. We'll talk about this later. Nora: You go forward, I go back. So it's back, side, close. Forward, side, close. Ba... okay, here we go. You d... put your arm around me. Justin: Mom, mom, mom, no. This is weird. I'm... I don't want to do this. Nora: You have to get used to it. There's a whole lot of protocol about the first dance. And Holly has done so much for this wedding. I don't want the Walkers to be the weak link. Come on. We have to do this before Kitty and Evan wake up from their nap. Okay, now you go forward, side, close. Back, side, close. Justin: All right. Nora: You have to look up. Don't look at your feet. Justin: Mom, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna need to know how to do this, all right? I'm not gonna be doing the box fox at my wedding. Nora: It is the box step. It's the foundation for all of ballroom dancing. You learn this, and you've learned everything. Now come on. Here we go. Here we go. Justin: It's old-fashioned, mom. I'm not gonna do it. Nora: You're twisting my hand. First of all, you have to... Justin: Well, I don't know what to do, mom. Luc: Hi. You must be Justin. Nice to meet you. Justin: Yeah, you're Luc, right? Nice to meet you. Luc: You guys were practicing the box step? Nora: Yeah. Justin: Uh, yeah. It's for my... my wedding. Luc: Oh, well, you know there is more, like, modern dances you can do, especially at your age. You know, uh, that's a little stiff. Justin: Yeah, ones that maybe aren't so old-fashioned? Luc: Yeah. My... my grandmother ran a dance studio in Paris, and she made me dance with all those girls. I mean, not that I minded. Um, I'm sayin', I can really help you out, man, if... uh... Nora: You know, we don't want to keep you from your swim. Luc: Is your bride a good dancer? Justin: Uh, yeah. You know, she... she's, like, practically semi-professional. Luc: Okay, well, I have a dance that I can show you. It looks like you will lead, everything, but she will do all the move. What about that... Let me show you. Let me show you. Justin: No, I... Nora: Luc, you know, he barely will dance with me. Justin: Yeah, Nora: I really don't think he's gonna dance with you. Luc: Don't worry. You will love this. Watch. Justin: I'm not really a dancer... Luc: I'll be her. You be you. Here. Here we go. Un, deux, trois. Okay, turn. No, no, no. Stay there. Okay. Justin: You turn around like this. Luc: Okay? Justin: Whoa. Hey. Okay. Luc: Come back for a big finish. You support her back, keep your balance, because we're gonna dip. Justin: No, we're not dipping. We're not dipping. I don't like dipping. Nora: Oh! Kevin, what the hell is the matter with you? Kevin: I... I... I don't... I don't know. I th... I just lost feeling in my extremities. Justin: You scared the hell outta me. I could've dropped him. Kevin: Wh... Luc: I'm Luc. Nice to meet you, Kevin. Kevin: I'm... I'm Kevin. Luc: Let me help you. Sorry. Nora: Would you get a grip? Luc, don't do it. I'm gonna get a broom. Luc: I'm sorry. Kevin: Oh, no. Kitty: Oh, come on, you guys. You have to at least pretend not to be staring. Scotty: Oh, please. This coming from the person who sent us a text message telling us to rush over here as if the house was on fire? Rebecca: The house is on fire. Kevin: He can't see us anyway. He has chlorine in his eyes and dancing in his soul. Rebecca: He's a really strong swimmer. Kevin: I wish he'd stop swimming and get out of the pool. Scotty: Oh, hey, give this to Kevin. Kevin: What for? Scotty: The drool on your chin. Justin: Can you guys give it a rest, please? Kitty: Justin, what is wrong with you? Justin: I'm just tired of listening to you all objectify him, all right? I mean, he happens to be a very nice guy. Kevin: "Objectify"? Oh, Justin! Nora: Kitty, for goodness sakes. I thought you were taking a nap. Oh, Scotty, Rebecca, what brings you here? Scotty: Kitty. Nora: Oh, yes. Adonis bathes in the sea... It makes total sense now. Kitty: Mom, I'm getting the distinct impression that you don't like him. Nora: I like him just fine, just fine. If he were underfoot in your house, you would not be so enamored of him. Kevin: Wanna bet? Nora: All right. He's handsome in an obvious sort of way. But that's no reason to act like a bunch of teenagers. Kevin: Yeah, I agree. Saul: Hi, everybody. Nora: Oh, for God sake. Has everyone in this family lost his mind? Saul: No, I just... somebody said it was a great day for a swim, so here I am. Nora: Kitty, look, I'm gonna go in the house and make you something cold to drink and maybe a tuna fish sandwich would be a good idea. Rebecca: He's getting out. He's getting out. Saul: He needs a towel. Should I give him a towel? Rebecca: Don't give him a towel. Justin: Hey. Saul: Hey. Luc, Bonjour, voilá. Je m'appelle Saul. Luc: Enchanté. Saul: Je suis l'oncle de Sarah. Nora: Unbelievable. Rebecca: Oh, he is. Kitty: Oh, my... Saul: I would like to make a toast to Luc. He's the first chef-artist-dancer-swimmer that I have ever known... a true Renaissance man. Santé. Luc: Thank you. Santé. Justin: Cheers. Sarah: I have to say, I've experienced the artist-chef, but the swimmer-dancer is new to me. Luc: Then let's go for a swim, everybody. Justin: I don't think any of us brought our swimming trunks. Kevin: No. Luc: We don't need trunks. It's dark, and there are no children around. Sarah: Luc, I love how really, really French you are. Kevin: Yeah, and sadly, we're really, really American. Justin: And related. Rebecca: Well, I guess that leaves dancing. Luc: Shall we? Sarah: I'm in. Scotty: Oh, me, too. Justin: I think I'm gonna pass on the whole thing. Rebecca: No, we have to show them what we learned. No, we're in. Saul: We're in. Luc: You're in. Saul: Good boy. Well done. Okay, Ms. Walker, may I have the honor of the next dance? Sarah: Oh, I would be delighted. Saul: What is your pleasure? Would you like to waltz or would you like to fox trot or... Sarah: I think I'd like to tango. Luc: Ooh. Tango... it's very difficult dance. Sarah: Are you saying I can't do it? Luc: Oh, no, no, no. Rebecca: I know how to tango. Sarah: Okay, you guys dance. We'll watch and learn. Luc: Okay. Sarah: Okay, you have to teach me how to do that. Saul: And me. Rebecca: Yes! Oh, come on. It's fun. Justin: Oh, no, no, you know, I'm gonna let the smoke settle out there. Kevin: Yeah, I agree. Scotty: Oh, no, no, no. Come on. Then I won't have a partner. I don't want to. Come on, Kevin. Please. Yes, yes, yes. Sarah: Come on, Kevin. Don't be so uptight. Kevin: By all means, let's tango. Luc: Stand up straight. Saul: I am. Luc: Hands behind the back. Saul: Right. Luc: Bravo. Saul: Same thing. Luc: So which one of you wants to be the man? Kevin: I will. Luc: Good. Scotty: Wait. Why do you get to be the man? Kevin: I don't know. Let's both be the man. Luc: Kevin, you're both suited to be the man, but a tango, it won't work unless one person lead and the other person follows. So... Kevin: Okay. Luc: Alors... Okay, it would be a very bad mistake to think that a woman is less than a man, in a dance or in life, you know? Um, the man and woman play their parts, but... it's equal. Sarah: Luc, that was beautifully put. Rebecca: Yes, it was. Thank you. Saul: All right, boys, make up your mind. Our arms are getting very tired, okay? Sarah: Come on, Kevin. Just be the girl. Please. Justin: Yeah, come on, Kevin. Man up and be the girl. Kevin: Look, I didn't even want to dance. Scotty: Oh, my God. You can't do it. Kevin: If it's so equal, why don't you do it? Sarah: Come on, Kevin. This is really starting to piss me off. Scotty: No, no, no, it's not about being the girl. It's about following, isn't it? No one's allowed to make any of the decisions but you. I'm supposed to follow and do whatever you want. Kevin: I have never bossed you around. Scotty: But somehow, all the important decisions are always yours... where we live, when we have a baby, how we have a baby, who takes care of the baby after it's born. Kevin: I'm sorry. I'm not having this argument here. Scotty: Oh, when we have an argument. Saul: I think the tango was not a good idea. Scotty: You know what? I'm making a decision now. We're leaving. Good night, everybody. Luc, thank you for a wonderful meal. Guys, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if we spoiled your dance lesson. Justin: Kevin, I think you should follow. Sarah: Sometimes, men can be so stupid. Luc: We are all fools when it comes down to love... me included. Kevin: All I'm saying is, I think it's dangerous to use the tango as a metaphor for our marriage. Scotty: Okay... Kevin: No, I don't think either one of us should lead or follow. Scotty: Okay, but what if one of us has a really strong intuition about something? And what if one of us just needs the other person to trust him? Kevin: What... what if... one of... I'm... I'm sorry. I got lost in the pronouns. Scotty: Okay, I need you to hear me. I need you to understand. Kevin: I am! Scotty: I love you, and I want to start a family with you, and I want to start soon. And when the stars align and suddenly it's possible, when the universe gives us an opportunity like this, I... I just don't think it's very gracious to argue. Kevin: We would have to treat her like any other surrogate. Scotty: Of... of course. Kevin: And she has to do all the tests... Scotty: Okay. Kevin: Drugs, mental, physical... everything. Scotty: Agreed. Kevin: And she's only the surrogate. She is not the egg donor. Scotty: Okay. Kevin: And I get all the handbags I want. Scotty: Deal. Kevin: "Deal"? Scotty: Come here. Come here. Kevin: Hi. Scotty: Hello, everyone. Nora: Morning, guys. How are you? Hello. Um, Luc, sweetie, would you get me the salsa? Kevin: "Sweetie"? Scotty: We brought muffins. Luc: I'm learning how to make, uh, how do you call, Nor? Kevin: "Nor"? Nora: Huevos rancheros. Luc: It's Kitty's favorite. Kevin: Yeah, yeah, I know. How is she? Nora: She's better. She's tired, but she's better. Okay, Luc. Here, I want you to try this. He... he can't get with the whole eggs/bean combo thing. Scotty: Oh, yes. It's not exactly a French flavor. Sarah: Hi! Bonjour. Nora: It's good? Kevin: Just in time. Mom's just been flirting with your new boy... Nora: Good morning, guys. Kevin: Wooo, hi. Nora: Hi, honey. Uh, Paige, Cooper, this is Luc. Luc: Hello. Sarah: Luc's a good friend of mom's. Paige: Hi. Uh, grandma, um, where's aunt Kitty? We want to give her our present. Nora: She's upstairs playing with Evan. Paige: Cool. Come on. Nora: Sarah, can I talk to you for a minute? Sarah: Sure, mom. Luc: So did you two work out your tango problem? Scotty: Yes. Kevin: Yeah. Luc: So who will be the girl? Kevin: Her name's Michelle. Luc: Good for you. ♪ Beautiful World ♪ by Aidan Hawken ♪ Listen Nora: All right. Brunch in bed for everyone. Kitty: Oh, my gosh. Paige: It worked. Nora: Huevos rancheros. Kitty: Mom, you really didn't have to do that. We were just on our way down. Nora: Well, we had a minor mishap in the kitchen. Kevin melted the salsa bowl in the microwave. Sarah: Now what would you call that in Italian, kids? Paige & Cooper: El stupido! Kevin: Oh! Who's el stupido? Kitty: You know, you know, those buttons on the microwave Are awfully confusing. Kevin: Are they awfully confusing?