Season 3 Episode 3

Tug of War First Aired: 12/Oct/2008

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Scotty: It sounds awful. Kevin: It doesn't matter how it sounds. What matters is you agreed to come. So... I... tomorrow night, you and me, 7:00, client dinner. Scotty: I just.. Kevin: Scotty, the partners have never asked me to step up like this before, okay? They're all bringing their spouses. I do not want to be the only one there without a date. Scotty: A "date"? Kevin: Ah, sorry. Spouse. So I do really need you there. If you have made plans with someone else, please reschedule. Scotty: Okay, fine. Kevin: Thank you. Scotty: Why it so crucial for you to bring a spouse anyway? Kevin: Because it validates us in the eyes of the client. If, for some godforsaken reason, someone on this planet does want to love, honor and cherish a lawyer, we can't be all that bad. Scotty: I'm so glad we had our commitment ceremony. Kevin: I didn't put a ring on your finger for nothing. And if I do manage to bag these guys, it'll be like losing the Ojai account never even happened. Scotty: All right, fine. Who are we wining and dining anyway? Kevin: Core athletics. Scotty: You realize I know nothing about sports. Kevin: Yeah, which is why I have us both covered. I made espn one of my preset buttons on the radio months ago. Scotty: Wow, it's like I don't even know you right now. Sarah: Not nearly as satisfying. Kevin: Which is why I think we would be the perfect firm for you and the Rose bowl committee. Sarah: The rose bowl? What? Kevin: Absolutely. Sarah: Kevin? Kevin: Okay, thank you. Sarah: Kevin? Kevin: Let's... let's talk soon. Thank you. Carter: Rose bowl committee? Kevin: Yeah, just, uh, just trying to drum up some new clients. Carter: You must be feeling pretty confident not to be focusing on core athletics. Kevin: Ah. Carter: Are you ready to land us a multimillion-dollar account? Kevin: Are you kidding me? Last night, I had a dream I had to recite their latest earnings report verbatim, and I did, perfectly. Carter: I'm a little concerned about their C.E.O. Ron Robinson has a-a reputation for being pretty tough to win over. Kevin: Right, because he's a perfectionist. He tries every sneaker personally before they release a new line. He's... he's like my mom. I know exactly how to handle him. Carter: I'm sure you will. But I've been to a lot more of these dinners, and it's not just about selling the firm. It's about making that... that personal connection. You may want to think about flying solo on this one. Kevin: Flying solo? Carter: Give Robinson all your attention. Don't make him compete with anyone else. Kevin: I'm sorry. Are... are you asking me to leave Scotty at home? Carter: I'm just saying that sometimes potential clients can be unpredictable. And you don't want the night to become an uphill battle. We all want you to become partner, Kevin. You land this deal, you're next in line. Scotty: Okay. Kevin: Hey. Scotty: Hey. How's my overworked husband? Kevin: Overworked. Good news... You're off the hook for tomorrow night. Scotty: I thought everyone was supposed to bring their spouses. Kevin: Yeah, they are. But, you know, you were right. I think it's gonna be awful. And besides, why do we have to be so hetero-normative? Scotty: Sounds like you're chickening out. Kevin: No, not at all. By the same token, I don't think we have anything to prove. Scotty: Kevin, you feel weird about bringing me. Admit it. Kevin: I don't feel weird about anything at all. What? Scotty: Kevin... Kevin: My boss is worried that if you were to be there with me, the client may become distracted, which is his code for saying "offended ", which is just, I don't know, a pleasant way of saying he's not sure whether this guy likes homos, and he doesn't want anything to stand in the way of the contract. Scotty: Oh, my god. Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: I'm sorry. Kevin: I thought you'd be mad. Scotty: Well, I am, at your boss. I can't believe he's putting you in this position. What did you say? Kevin: You know, Scotty, I am this close to making partner. Look, I can do a lot more from a corner office than I can from a cubicle. Scotty: You're not in a cubicle, Kevin. Kevin: That's a metaphor. It... Carter all but said if I do this right, I'm there. Scotty: Does that corner office have a big walk-in closet? Kevin: That's not fair. This is one dinner. Scotty: I think we both know it's more than that. Kevin: So what am I supposed to do? I've worked my ass off for this firm for years. If I left now, I'd have to start over. Scotty: I'm not asking you to start over. Kevin: What are you asking? Scotty: I'm asking you to be careful. Look, Kevin, you deserve to make partner, but you also deserve to be who you are. You've been working pretty hard at that, too, remember? Ron Robinson: Excellent choice of wine, Carter. Carter: Actually, Kevin suggested it. His family's in the business. Cynthia Carter: Oh, Really? That's so glamorous. Connie Robinson: That's what I keep telling Ron. Give your gym some glamour. Let people sweat in luxury. Ron: She thinks smoothie bars add luxury. Kevin: Last time I was at one of your gyms, I drank two of your banana bliss in a row. I'm actually afraid to go back. I think I put weight on that day. Ron: I told her. Guys don't want to sit on their asses and drink milkshakes, because that's what they are milkshakes at a gym. How did your family get into wine? Kevin: By drinking it, mainly. I think my brother actually uses us as quality control. Ron: Wise man. You know, I personally test every athletic shoe before it hits the market. Keivn: Really? I didn't know that. But that's how we are at the firm. I mean, if you were to sign with us, you'd be guaranteed personal attention at all times. Connie: Hope you save some attention for your wife. Kevin: Ah, yeah, of course I do. Ron: Sorry she couldn't join us. How long you two been married? Kevin: Umm, since last may. Ron: Ah, you're still in the honeymoon phase. Give it a year or two, she'll be ruling the roost. Carter: I wouldn't worry about Kevin. I can't see anybody pushing him around. He's a bulldog when he wants to be. Isn't that right? Kevin: That's me. TV: The degree of difficulty is 3. 2 Scotty: Hey, how was the dinner? Well, I've been putting a dent in our tivo backlog, and I'm all the way up to the summer olympics. Did it not go well? Kevin: Oh, no, it was the kind of evening every young associate dreams of. I was the perfect sommelier, I walked them through the advantages of Carter, wright and dupress, so much so, by the end of the night, good ol' Ron practically insisted that I take over the account personally. Scotty: So you got it? Kevin: Yeah, I got it. But in a moment of faustian proportions, I pretended to be straight. Scotty: Wasn't that kind of the plan? Kevin: I think it's one thing to leave you at home, but it's certainly another to take advice on how to deal with your new bride. Scotty: They thought you were married to a woman. Kevin: Yeah, because I let them. And right now, I practically feel sick to my stomach. You know, for the first time in my life, I went back into the closet after coming out. And you were absolutely right. It's a very dark place. Scotty: Then don't do it again... or do, but you can't play the game and second-guess yourself at the same time. Either accept what you did because it'll get you what you want, or go in there tomorrow and tell them you're drawing a line in the sand. Make a decision. I don't care which one. Kevin: You're absolutely right. And I'm gonna go in tomorrow morning and tell Carter exactly what I think. Scotty: Good, because I actually did care which one you chose. Kevin: I feel a whole lot better already. Scotty: You wanna watch the rest with me? Kevin: Ah, you know what? I'm kinda exhausted. Scotty: It's the diving competition. Kevin: Hmm, well, I did want to get into some more sports. Kevin: No, no, the guy needs permits to keep animals on his property, even if they're bees, and he didn't apply for one before moving, so there's your angle. Yeah, or you could call the president. I'm sure that would work, too. Uh, senator, I have to go. Bye. Carter: I'm not used to being summoned to an associate's office. What's so important? Kevin: I, I just wanted to talk about last night. Carter: Well, I just got off the phone with Ron Robinson. He's faxing over the retainer right now. Kevin: Yeah, yeah, he... he called earlier to tell me that. Carter: Then what's the problem? Kevin: I wanna make partner here more than you know. But a few things happened last night I don't think I handled well. Carter: Are you kidding me? You handled it perfectly. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You landed the deal. You should be proud. Look, I have a partners' meeting in five minutes, and I was planning on raving about your performance, so... if that's all there is... Kevin: Yes, sir, that's all. Carter: Good. Keep up the good work.