Good luck, Kevin (S1E14)

Season 1 Episode 14 - music

Valentine's Day Massacre First Aired: 11/Feb/2007
http://amzn.com/B000QN515A "Same Height Relation" (2005)	"Soul So Sweet" by Hector On Stilts Kevin talks with Chad about Michelle's setting up and othres Lyrics:

Season 1 Episode 14 - music

Valentine's Day Massacre First Aired: 11/Feb/2007
"Just Say the Word" (2006)	"Opposite Of Me" by Josh Kelley Kevin works out with Chad and Michelle Lyrics: Talk to me like I don't get it Maybe you don't get me You're a rich girl in momma's high heels And someday you're gonna see I got x-ray vision, I'll see right through you Like crystal and we're standing in this room And who you are ain't who I am That's alright with me What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be 'Cause we're day and night Baby it's so right that we do agree What I love about you is that you are The opposite of me You're speaking some shady lingo That someday I'd love to learn You're a bad girl in daddy's new wheels Watching that rubber burn It's a game little lover but ain't it fun Trying to figure out where you're coming from I'll take my chance, come on let's dance It's how it's got to be What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be 'Cause we're day and night Baby it's so right that we do agree What I love about you is that you are The opposite of me They say that opposites attract Whatcha gonna say 'bout that No, no more excuses Just relax What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be What I love about you is You're the opposite of me Instead of fighting about it Why don't we just let it be 'Cause we're day and night Baby it's so right that we do agree What I love about you is that you are The opposite, oh no They say that opposites attract Whatcha gonna say about that No more excuses, baby Now look at my eyes and I'll tell you What's so right now

Season 1 Episode 14

Valentine's Day Massacre First Aired: 11/Feb/2007

<< S1E8 S2E3 >>

Kitty: Hello, Kevin. I just... I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of something very important. Kevin: Nothing is more important than this. I slept with him. Kitty: Who? Chad? Kevin: No, it's not Chad. Already we've been sleeping with Chad. Kitty: What? Something more surprising than you having a closetted affair with a soap star? Kevin: Scotty. I slept with Scotty. Kitty: Oh, well, that's great! I like Scotty. Kevin: It's not great. He's my ex. Don't you know what that means? Kitty: Can you just hold on one second? I'm on the other line with Sarah. Hey Sarah, you're never gonna believe this. Kevin slept with Scotty last night. Hello? Kevin: And just like that, you were gonna betray my trust. Kitty: Oh please, you know what? You're like the CNN of our family. Just hold on. Hey, Sarah, sorry. So Kevin slept with Scotty last night. Sarah: Shut up! Get the details. I'll hold. I wouldn't go telling him about Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if you know what I mean. Kitty: OK. Kevin, spill it quickly. I have a crisis to abort over here. Kevin: What crisis? It's 8:00 in the morning. Did something happen last night? Did we get? Oh, my God, you and McCallister? Kitty: No, I didn't. We didn't. We didn't. Kevin: How does he look naked? He looks good? Was it hot in that morally reprehensible kind of way? Justin's calling. Hold on. Guess what? Justin: I messed up, bro. Kevin: OK. Well, at least you're still alive. Justin: I didn't do drugs, moron. Just... just Tyler. Kevin: Oh, you ass. Justin: Seriously bro, I'm not supposed to have sex yet. I'll replace my addiction. Kevin: Oh, it's what after rehab you're sworn to celibacy? Justin: Yeah. Kind of. Look, I gotta go. Kevin: OK, whatever. Justin got back with Tyler last night. Kitty: Oh, you're kidding. Did you tell him? Kevin: We're both having sexes with exes? No, but I can't wait to. Mom's calling. Look, I'm gonna hang up so it'll go to voice mail or she'll know I'm avoiding her call. Kitty: All right, all right. Bye. ♪ Opposite Of Me ♪ by Josh Kelley ♪ Listen Michelle: Isn't that your friend? Chad: Yeah. Michelle: What's his name again? Chad: Uh... Kev... in. Michelle: Kevin! Come stretch with us. Come on! Don't be shy. Chad: Hey. Michelle: Look at those glutes. I can't believe you're single. You are single, right? Kevin: Yeah. Michelle: I can see it. In those sad blue eyes. Chad: Michelle. Michelle: What? He's a big boy. Let me hook you up with friends. Kevin: Do they look like you? Michelle: Yes, they do. Kevin: Then no. Michelle: What? You like big boobs? Kevin: Ah, I've retired from the boob business. Michelle: Holy crap! You're, like, gay. Kevin: Not "like" gay. I'm the real thing. Michelle: "I'm the real thing. " I love the way you talk. Funny guy. And you make six figures. If you were straight, you would have the hottest girlfriend. What kind of guys do you go for? Come on, Chad. What's his type? Chad: Um... He's hard to please. Michelle: What? Business men? Kevin: No. Michelle: Ivy Leaguers? Big beefy gym bunnies? Kevin: I prefer them slightly waifish. Michelle: Oh, my God. Oh, my God! The best guy for you ever! Chad: Michelle, I'm not sure Kevin's so desperate to meet somebody. He's a busy guy. Kevin: No, I'm interested. Michelle: I can't believe I didn't think about this before. You guys will love each other. He's well put together, he's gorgeous. What are you doing for Valentine's? Kevin: Nothing. Michelle: Then it's offic. You're coming to my sister's Valentine's Day party. Don't worry. I'm hooking you up huge. You're gonna thank me. I swear, all the best guys I meet are gay. Except you, of course, babe. ♪ Soul So Sweet ♪ by by Hector On Stilts ♪ Listen Kevin: Who is this guy, the guy Michelle's trying to set me up with? Am I gonna like him? Chad: No. You've already fallen for somebody else. Kevin: This whole affair is giving my ulcer an anxiety attack. Chad: It's my career, Kev. We've been over this. Kevin: I know. It's just taking its toll on me, that's all. You're never gonna want anything more than what we have, what I'm always going to. There's an inevitable outcome, Chad. Chad: You're not my prisoner. I'm not making you stay in this. Kevin: No, we're both your prisoner. Chad: I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do. Here. It's a... valentine. To make up for dragging you into the closet with me for this long. Kevin: This is way too much. Chad: No, it's not. Please come tonight. I know we can't be together for Valentine's Day, but it doesn't mean I don't wanna see you. Chad: How's it going? Kevin: Good. I'll get you a drink. Chad: So I can end up the lead story on Defamer tomorrow? No thanks. Kevin: It'll make you more comfortable. Which will make me more confortable. Chad: Yeah, well... Michelle: There you are. I need you. And I need you. You, for dancing. And you, for meeting the man of your dreams. Kevin: You should really have us trade. Michelle: Kevin, this is Scotty. Scotty: Kevin, nice to meet you. Kevin: Nice to meet you. Scotty: Aren't you a little risk taker. Look at you. You're making a statement, dressed to take the "singles" out of the "party. " Kevin: Look, I know I can't stop you from hating me, but could you pull back just a little on the mocking? Scotty: Maybe. That is quite the masculine watch. Kevin: I guess not. That's quite the masculine haircut. Scotty: Leave the mocking to the professionals. Chad: You OK? Scott, right? Scotty: "Tee. " Close enough. Chad: You good, Kev? Kevin: Yeah. Great. Scotty: My gaydar just red-lined. How do you know Michelle again? Kevin: I do boot camp with her. Scotty: No, you do boot camp with him. Kevin: To being friends of friends. Scotty: I should've known, honestly. What were the odds? How many gay-lawyer Kevins do you think are in this town? Kevin: I'll tell you this much, you couldn't come more highly recommended. Scotty: Neither could you. Kevin "the hot teddy-bear of an attorney". Tell me, did I live up to the hype? kevin: Beyond my wildest expectations. What about me? Scotty: Better than advertised. Kevin: You better watch out. I'm a little drunk. You might take advantage of me. Scotty: Is that a premature excuse? Kevin: I miss you sometimes. Scotty: Me too. Sometimes. Scotty: Good morning, mister. Kevin: Morning. Do you want some? I'm sorry. I have to take this. Hey, how was the rest of the party? Chad: You went home with that guy, didn't you? Kevin: Uh, is that fair? Chad: Did you sleep with him? That's all I wanna know. Kevin: Uh, you don't actually wanna know. Chad: I was gonna talk to Michelle. I was gonna... You know what? Forget it. Kevin: What? Chad! Don't... Chad: Don't call me, all right? Scotty: Oh. So last night was about making someone else jealous. Kevin: I don't know. Scotty: Well, it obviously worked. You know, you almost have to love the irony. You're right where I was with you a few months ago. Kevin: You know, you ended things with me, Scotty. Scotty: Now you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't love himself. I feel sorry for you. Good luck, Kevin.

Season 1 Episode 9 - music

Mistakes Were Made, Part 2 First Aired: 19/Nov/2006
"Back In Black" (1980, 2003-remastered)	"You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC Sarah plays pool with army guys. Lyrics: She was a fast machine, She kept her motor clean, She was the fastest damn woman that I ever seen, She had sightless eyes, Telling me no lies, Knockin' me out with those American thighs, Taking more than her share, Had me fighting for air, She told me to come, but I was already there, 'Cause the walls started shaking, The earth was quaking, My mind was achin', And we were makin' it and you... Shook me all night long, Yeah you, shook me all night long. Working double time on the seduction line, She was one of a kind, She's just mine all mine, Wanted no applause, It's just another cause, Made a meal out of me, and come back for more, Had to cool me down, To take another round, Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing But the walls were shaking, The earth was quaking, My mind was aching, And we were making it and you... Shook me all night long, Yeah you, shook me all night long, Knocked me out, I said you Shook me all night long, Had me shaking and you, Shook me all night long, Well you shook me, Well you shook me... You really shook me and YOU! Shook me all night long, Aaaaahaaaahaaaah You... Shook me all night long, Yeah yeah you, Shook me all night long, You really got me and you, Shook me all night long, Yeah you shook me, Yeah you shook me, All night long.

Season 1 Episode 9

Mistakes Were Made, Part 2 First Aired: 19/Nov/2006

Kevin: Wow. This is straight out of "a few good men". Sarah: More than a few. Three beers, please. Tommy: I thought you wanted to get wasted. Three bourbons, too. Thanks. Sarah: To William's folly. Tommy: Oh, come on. Could you show some respect? Sarah: I'm sorry, Tommy, but parentage isn't a free pass to cheat and steal. Tommy: Look, I know, but... Kevin: He was also our dad. To William. Cheers. Dan: Excuse me, ma'am. We don't get too many civilians in here. Are you lost? Sarah: I might be. Tommy: She's not. Dan: Sorry, man. You her boyfriend? Tommy: No, her brother. Plus she's married. Kevin: Uh, Tommy, in case you haven't noticed, there's, like, the entire 82nd airborne in here. So... um, I'm sorry, he gets a little protective of her. Has done since puberty. Dan: I just wanted to see if the lady might be interested in shooting a little pool. Sarah: Actually, the lady would. Don't worry, Tommy. It's only a game of pool. My virtue will remain intact. Rick: Don't worry about that, man. Dan's just happy to see a woman out of uniform, you know? Life on the base is pretty much a 24/7 sausage fest. Kevin: That sounds pretty... horrible. That, that sounds pretty horrible. ♪ You Shook Me All Night Long ♪ by AC/DC ♪ Listen Dan: Where'd you learn to break like that? Sarah: Three brothers and a dad. Tommy: Uh, are you done having... fun yet? Sarah: I love this song. Dance, Tommy. Tommy: Couldn't you just kill me instead? Rick: Your sister has how many kids? Kevin: I honestly don't know anymore. Rick: How about you? Kevin: No, I, I don't have any kids. And I don't envision that happening anytime soon 'cause for one thing, I'm gay. So an unplanned pregnancy isn't really a risk fome. For another, you kinda need to be in a long-term relationship, and my... my boyfriend just broke up with me so... Rick: So you're single. I was hoping you'd say that. Kevin: Good news. No, great news. I've got a line on a place for us to crash tonight. Sarah: You're incredible. We come to an army bar, and he gets laid. Kevin: Well, not yet, but I am working on it. Sarah: Whoa... Oh... Oh. I feel like Nick Nolte's mug shot. Kevin: That's what happens when you do Jell-O shots with enlisted men. Tommy: If we're not as chipper as you are, Kev, it's because you didn't sleep on the floor. Kevin: Oh, that's right, Tommy. I certainly did not. Sarah: One day, son, this will all be yours.

Season 1 Episode 8 - music

Mistakes Were Made, Part 1 (a.k.a. Glass Jumps) First Aired: 12/Nov/2006
"Still Life" (2003)	"Philosophia" by The Guggenheim Grotto Scotty & Kevin break up over the phone. Lyrics: When we're young we set our hearts upon some beautiful idea Maybe something from a holy book or French philosophia Upon the thoughts of better men than us we swear by and decree a Perfect way to end the war of ways the only way to be a... Work of art, oh to be a work of art A work of art, oh to be a work of art But in time a thought comes tugging on the sleeve edge of our minds Perhaps no perfect way exists at all, just many different kinds Oh but if it's just a thing of taste then everything unwinds For without an absolute how can the absolute define... A work of art, oh to be a work of art A work of art, oh to be a work of art A work of art, oh to be a work of art When we're young we set our hearts upon some beautiful idea Maybe something from a holy book or French philosophia