Season 1 Episode 8

Mistakes Were Made, Part 1 (a.k.a. Glass Jumps) First Aired: 12/Nov/2006

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Kitty: So how are things with Scotty? Kevin: Honestly We haven't spoken since the Ojai thing. Kitty: Well, call him. Kevin: I have, Kitty. He won't call me back. He's either still mad at me or on an Arctic expedition. Kitty: Well, my guess is he's still mad, given the way you told him to shut his face in front of the entire family. Kevin: Don't get like that with me. Kitty: Don't get like what with you? Kevin: As if you're some relationship genius. You're the lying whore the family. Kitty: You're the stuck-up bitch. Kevin: I am so not a snob. Kitty: Oh, yes, Kevin, your a little outburst of the table was the tip of the iceberg. You talked to him whole weekend like he was the help. Kevin: I did? Kitty: Yes, you did. And at the hospital benefit, you tried to pay him to be your escort. Kevin: Oh, come on! I just wanted to see him. Kitty: So you offered to purchase him? Oh, Kevin, you don't want a boyfriend. You want a blender. Kevin: A blender? Kitty: Well, some... something that can be bought. Well, you know what I mean. Kevin: No. He's coming into the office later today. We won the case he was involved in and the plaintiffs are giving him a reward for being a whistle-blower. So? What do I do? Kitty: Oh, I... You know, I am no genius when it comes to relationships, remember? But if I were you, I would beg him on bended knee to take you back. Kevin: Bended knee? Cool. Whore. Kitty: Bitch. Carly: Sign here, Mr. Wandell. Scotty: There you go. Carly: And there you go. Kevin: Great. Thanks, Carly. Carly: Anytime, Mr. Walker. Kevin: So do you have any plans for lunch? Scotty: Lunch? Us? Kevin: Yeah, I thought maybe we could celebrate with lunch. You could even buy now, since you're so flush. Since we're sort of equals. Scotty: Me having money makes us equals? Kevin: Only in terms of... Scotty: I thought what made us equals was we're human beings. But oh yeah, that's right, you're not a human being. I remember now. You're a Martian. Kevin: Come on. Scotty, I was... Scotty: I usually don't like to admit things like this, Kevin, but I was completely wrong about you. Kevin: What are you doing? Scotty: Give the plaintiffs my regards, but tell them I don't want or need their reward. Kevin: Come on... Scotty: It took a long time to figure out how much I'm worth. And how it has nothing to do with money or anything people can point to. It's taken you, let's see... two months, to make me feel worthless. Congratulations. ♪ Philosophia ♪ by The Guggenheim Grotto ♪ Listen Kevin: Hi, um, Scotty, it's, um it's Kevin, Your.. your least favourite Martian. Look, I've.. I've been on your planet for 34 years and I still get a lot of things wrong like about, um, money and work and people and life and... love. Everything. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I think you're amazing and funny and cute as hell and I just hope that someday, maybe I don't know, three Martian years from now 'cause our years are longer than yours, maybe I could be worthy of your human love and respect, whether we're together or not. That's all. Scotty: Hi. Kevin: Hi. Please tell me this is the part where you let me off the hook. Scotty: It's not. Kevin: OK. Scotty: This is the part where I say thank you. And, um... could you please send me the check? Kevin: I already did. Scotty: OK, then. Bye Kevin: Bye.