Season 3 Episode 10

Just A Sliver First Aired: 07/Dec/2008

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Kevin: Oh, wow. I think I have blisters. Scotty: You wanted to lose 5 pounds so you could gain it back for Thanksgiving. Kevin: How far did we run? Scotty: Two miles. Kevin: Two miles? That's it, two miles? Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: That felt like 22. Oh, it's Tommy. Scotty: He fired you months ago. Get over it. Kevin: How would you like it if your own brother fired you? Scotty: I don't have a brother. Stop being so childish. Kevin: You stop being so childish. Hey. Scotty: This hospital has the worst food. I mean, it's not even food. It's some horrible facsimile of food. Kevin: Don't be too hard on it. It may be my last meal. Or Justin's. Justin: That's not funny, bro. Scotty: No. Kevin: I was... Tommy: There you are. Listen, I just spoke to the doctors, and she needs the transplant. Justin: Oh, God, Tommy. Are you okay? Tommy: Yeah. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Kevin, it's you. Kevin: Really? Tommy: Yeah. Kevin: Okay. Tommy: They wanna run some more tests, make sure you've never had hepatitis. Stuff like that. Kevin: Yeah. Sure. Justin: Congratulations. Tommy: Look, he can pass out cigars later. We... We gotta get to the lab. Kevin: Sure. I'Il... I'll see you later. Scotty: Yeah. Justin: You okay? Scotty: No. Are you? Justin: No, not really. Scotty: Hey. Umm, I'm gonna go home and get some stuff for Kevin. Nora: Oh, no, no. Let me go. You stay here. Scotty: No, you won't be able to find anything. Nora: Well, I'll find it if you tell me where it is. Oh, Justin, why don't you guys come with me? Justin: I just told you I wanna stay. Nora: Well, go out for a walk there. Rebecca: Yeah, let's go for a walk. Justin: I don't want a walk, okay? I want another bag of chips. Scotty: Um.. well, thanks. I'll make a list for you. Nora: Okay. Scotty: Hi. Oh, look, Sarah. This room is lovely. Sarah: Hi. I wouldn't know, Ma. It's pretty hard to see through the forest. Nora: Well, honey, just put it down over there. Sarah: Hey. Nora: Where's Kevin? Kevin: Right here. Nora: Hi, honey. How you doing? Sarah: Hey. Kevin: Hey, I'm fine. Well, I'm wearing a dress with no backside. I've been better. Nora: Well, I brought everything you wanted from home. Sarah: And then some. Nora: Yeah. So let's see what we have here. Your dop kit. Kevin: Great. Nora: And your pajamas. Scotty: Oh, Nora. Those aren't his pajamas. These are my pajamas. I should've gone... Kevin: Scotty, it's okay. I love your pajamas. Scotty: Yeah? It's okay. Sarah: Here's your iPod. Kevin: Thank you. Justin: Oh, that's great. We can listen to show tunes all night. Nora: Whatever Kevin wants. Sarah: Okay, I'm ordering Chinese. Kevin: I can't eat anything. Sarah: I know. That's why I'm gonna order shrimp, because you're allergic. Kevin: How thoughtful. Scotty: I don't think I could eat a thing...... Sarah: I'd like to place an order, please. One shrimp lo mein, one special fried rice with shrimp. What do you want, Justin? Justin: Beef with broccoli. Sarah: Two beef and broccoli, with shrimp. Kevin: Sarah, you don't have to order everything with shrimp. I'm not even hungry. Sarah: No, that'll be a pickup. Thank you. Nora: When are they taking you in in the morning. Kevin: Oh, some awful hour like 5. Scotty: Kevin, I think what you're doing is incredible. I don't think I would be so brave. Kevin: Well, you're not a morning person, honey. Nora: No, Kevin. You're being amazing. Kevin: I am amazing. Nora: Hi, Tommy. Sarah: Hey, Tommy. You hungry? I just ordered Chinese. You can have shrimp, shrimp or shrimp. Tommy: Well, you must be happy, Mom. Nora: Why on Earth would I be happy? Tommy: Everybody's here, together, for Thanksgiving, just the way you wanted it. Sarah: Tommy, that's not fair. Tommy: Well, then stop treating this like one of your dinner parties. I mean, this isn't another Walker family get-together. Nora: Tommy, that's not what we're doing. Tommy: Just enjoy your dinner. Kevin: Are you asleep? Scotty: No. Are you? Kevin: No. Wow, you look like you're in the first-class cabin of Swiss air. Seeing as I'm awake, I might as well sign some of these forms. Can you pass me that pen, please? Thank you. Scotty: What are they for? Kevin: Everything. This one's authorization of payment. Scotty: Payment? You're giving them a piece of your liver. Isn't that enough? Kevin: Oh, no. No good deed goes unpunished. Informed consent. They wanna make sure I'm aware of all the risks involved, which include: " Loss of limb function, paralysis, stroke, brain damage... " Scotty: Okay, good. Thank you. Moving on. Kevin: Hopefully, I'll end up with a scar and nothing else. Scotty: Well, I like scars. I think they're sexy. Kevin: This one needs to be notarized. Scotty: Notarize? What is it? Kevin: Power of attorney. Scotty: You're an attorney. Kevin: Not if I'm on life support. And as my husband, you'd be in charge of pulling the plug or not. Scotty: Okay, this is all starting to get a little too... um... real. Kevin: Yeah, I might sign that one in the morning. It's a good thing we are married. If it was up to my mother, she'd never pull the plug, and I'd be a vegetable for all eternity. Scotty: It's not funny, Kevin. Kevin: I know it's not funny, but please don't get serious on me now. We have the whole operation to get through. Scotty: I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm scared. ♪ Duet ♪ by Rachael Yamagata ft Ray Lamontagne ♪ Listen Kevin: I know. Come here. Everything is gonna be fine. I promise you. Scotty: I know. Kevin: Come on. Scotty: Oh. Sarah: Oh, here he is. Nora: Hey. Sarah: Is he under yet? Scotty: He's on a drip. He's high as a kite. Justin: Oh, there he is. Sarah: Oh, no, here he is. Saul: Hey, buddy boy. Kevin: My whole family is here. That's so nice. Nora: Kevin, sweetie, it's gonna be over before you know it. Just relax. Kevin: Mom, they shaved my chest. I look like Michael Phelps. Kitty: I think he's pretty relaxed. Scotty: I'm gonna be the first person you see when you wake up. Kevin: Okay, tell them to take a little off the sides. Scotty: Whatever you want. Kevin: Ahh. Kitty: Okay, good luck. Justin: Good luck, bro. Sarah: Bye, Kev. Kevin: Bye. Justin: What? Oh, my gosh. Scotty: Here they are. Julia: Oh, my God. It's Thanksgiving. Nora: Yes. Tommy: I can't believe you did this. Sarah: Well, we decided the bird was ambulatory, so we dressed him up, drove him in. Kitty: Hey, guys. Sorry. Sorry I'm late, but here is the lime Jell-O with walnuts and bananas. I have no idea what that has to do with Thanksgiving, but I'm not gonna eat it. Justin: I think it actually comes, like, from early colonial times. It was something with... Something to do with scurvy. Nora: It's Justin's favorite is what it is. Justin: Yeah. Kitty: Shut up. Saul: Kitty, it was very nice for Robert to come. Kitty: Oh, come on, Saul. Don't be sarcastic. He's got his whole family in town, and... Saul: Excuse me. I wasn't being sarcastic. It was very nice for Robert to come. Kitty: Robert. Hey, how are you? Robert: Hi, honey. Kitty: You didn't have to come. Robert: Yes, I did. I missed you. Kitty: Are you... Are you hungry? Robert: Yes. Kitty: So how's Kevin doing? I haven't seen him today. Scotty: Oh, you know, he's grumpy when he's awake, and he moans when he's asleep, which he's doing right now. Sarah: Everybody grab a chair and assume your usual positions. Oh, except for Justin. We decided to let you sit at the big person's table this year. Saul: No. No, no. Justin: Yes. I made it. Uncle Saul, I made it. Rebecca: I forgot to tell you, those nurses send their compliments to the chef. Nora: Oh. ♪ Glorious ♪ by Melissa Etheridge ♪ Listen Saul: Okay, everybody, attention. I have a bottle of sparkling apple cider, and it's an excellent year. Sarah: You know, everybody in this building is on some kind of drug, and we can't even drink. That's not fair. Robert: And that's not sparkling cider. Sarah: Oh... I'd like to try the sparkling apple cider, Uncle Saul. Saul: Some sparkling apple cider for sister Sarah, please. Kitty: Since when did you two become Amish? Nora: Rebecca, you don't have anything on your plate. Rebecca: I'm saving room because we're going to my mom's later. Saul: Certainly hasn't been stopping Justin, has it? Rebecca: Yeah, seriously. Justin: I just don't want to hurt Mom's feelings. Scotty: Julia, could you pass me the cranberry sauce? Justin: Oh, I think I may have finished that. Rebecca: Justin. Justin: What? I mean, I can give you some of my cran... Scotty: No, that's fine. Nora: You know, I've got a toast. To Elizabeth, my strong, little granddaughter, who, this year, out of all the Thanksgivings we've spent together, has given us so much to be thankful for. Julia: Thank you. All: To Elizabeth. Sarah: Oh, and I'd like to propose a toast to Paige and Cooper, who couldn't be here. You know, I've had a little taste of why Mom was so disappointed at the idea of not having Thanksgiving with her children. So to Mom, thank you for this fabulous meal. All: Yeah. All: To Nora. All: Cheers. All: Thank you. Kitty: Okay, I have... I have one more toast. Sorry, just one more. Every Thanksgiving, when Mom asks Kevin if he would like a piece of pie, Kevin always says the same thing, and then he proceeds to eat half of the pie all by himself. Nora: So true. Kitty: So here's to Kevin, who this year, gave new meaning to the phrase: "Just a sliver. " All: Ohh. Saul: Just an ... Kevin: That is the worst, most tasteless toast I have ever heard. Nora: Oh, Kevin. Kevin: Hey, Mom. Nora: Look at him. Justin: How you feeling? Kevin: I'm fine. Just a bit. Kitty: Oh, no, no. Nora: No, no, no. You don't want any sparkling apple cider.