Season 4 Episode 24

On The Road Again First Aired: 15/May/2010

<< S4E23 S5E1 >>

♪ Physical ♪ by Olivia Newton-John ♪ Listen Scotty: Ah. Saul, smell these peaches. You can't get anything like that in L.A. Saul: Oh. Are you sure we're gonna be ready in a month? Scotty: Well, we may not be firing on all four burners, but we'll be serving food. Oh, I found a really great daycare center in the neighborhood. Saul: Why can't we have the baby with us in the restaurant? Scotty: Well, sometimes, but not always. Saul & Scotty: A baby. Kevin: Ugh. Scotty: Oh, did we wake you? Kevin: What, with all the banging, the clanging, the Olivia Newton-John playing? No, absolutely not. So glad we rented the old Ojai house for some peace and quiet this weekend. Scotty: Well, we're not here for peace and quiet. Your whole family's coming tomorrow. Kevin: Mm. Mm! You made a menu. Scotty: Yeah. It's a test menu. We want everyone's opinion on how everything tastes. Kevin: Oh. So it's an oral exam? Saul: Wait until you see the amazing recipes we're gonna make. Kevin: I feel bloated already. Scotty: Okay, Kevin, if you're not gonna help, out of the kitchen. Kevin: Inside voice, please. Saul: I never knew that my nephew was such a grump in the morning. Kevin: I never knew my uncle wore a muumuu, so we're even. Saul: It's not a muumuu. It's a night shirt. Kevin: Where's...? Do you know where my...? Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: Hey, Kit. Saul's wearing a muumuu. Saul: Says the man in the sleeping mask. How's my senator-to-be? Saul: Look at this. I just got another friend request. Scotty: Saul just discovered Facebook. Kevin: Oh, hot. Old flame? Saul: Well, we had a little moment. But that was years ago. Scotty: Oh, look. He's a big AIDS activist. It says he's been living with AIDS for the last 22 years. Oh, he does those bike-a-thons. That's pretty remarkable. Kevin: I did a bike-a-thon. I raised 1,500 bucks. And then I had to spend 1,500 bucks on my own chiropractor. Scotty: Oh, you have your physical next week. Kevin: Oh, yeah. Saul: Do you two still get tested? Kevin: Mm-hm. Scotty: For HIV? Yeah, of course. It's like habit now. It's like spring-cleaning. Kevin: Yeah. And you never know where this one's been tramping around. Scotty: Exactly. Kevin: What do you mean "exactly"? Scotty: What about you, Saul? Saul: What, me? Tested? What for? I'm 100 years old. Anyway, I haven't had sex since the Hindenburg exploded. No, the only thing about me that gets tested is my patience. Now, come on. We have recipes to cook. We have meals to make. Scotty: Um... Kevin: What? Scotty: It's Saul. Kevin: Oh, he can't hear us. The walls are like oak. Scotty: No, it's not... It's not that. He should get tested, Kevin. Kevin: Oh, that. Look, he hasn't had sex since the Stone Age. That poor man. He said so himself. Saul: I heard that. Kevin: Saul? Saul: Yes. Kevin: Are you holding a glass to the wall? Saul: No, but I have my new hearing aids in. Okay. It is very sweet for you both to care and I appreciate it, but this is not a possibility. Scotty: When was the time you were tested? Saul: Would you please stop worrying about me. Let's worry about the restaurant this weekend, Okay? Scotty: You know, what if we all went together? I'm sure there's a place in town we could go. Kevin: Yeah, we could go tomorrow. Out of "solidarity." Saul: Okay, how about this. I'll go next month when I have my cholesterol checked. Scotty: Great, great. I'll go with you if you want. Saul: It's okay. I'll be fine. Thank you. Oh, don't start fooling around. The walls are paper-thin. Saul: Okay, so you dry the fris and I'll start putting the eggs in. Scotty: Yeah. Oh, Saul, did you put vinegar in that water? Saul: Yes. I put vinegar in the water. I do know how to poach an egg. Scotty: Okay. Relax. Saul: Scotty, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to jump on you. I just didn't sleep very well last night. Scotty: Are you thinking about what we talked about last night? Saul: No. Scotty: Because I didn't mean to pressure you. If you don't want to... Saul: Can we concentrate on the fris salad? Scotty: Yeah. Rebecca: Hey, anything I can do to help? Saul: Whoa! Oh. Rebecca: Is everything okay? Saul: Listen, Rebecca. Do me a favor. There are too many cooks in this kitchen. Scotty: Rebecca, would you mind taking out these empanadas for me? Rebecca: Definitely. Saul: Mm. Too much cilantro in that. Kevin: I'm sure it's fine. Scotty: How's everybody doing in here? Saul: Oh, great. She's a little jittery. Scotty: Kevin, drop it. He didn't sleep well last night. It's our fault. Saul: Oh, come on. Scotty. For God sake. Kevin: Why is it our fault? Why? Because we were talking about getting tested? Why are you in worry. It's not like you've been around the block. You've barely set foot outside your house. Saul: Would you please stop being so patronizing and cavalier about this? Kevin: Okay, I'm sorry I ever mentioned it. Saul: Are you? Kevin: Yeah. Saul: Do you have any idea what you're asking of me? Do you? This world that the two of you live in, it's where everything is so easy and so much is possible. You have a surrogate carrying your child, you're married... Kevin: Technically, we're not married. Saul: Oh, Kevin. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. You're domestic partners, whatever. When I was your age, I just hoped that I wouldn't get arrested when I walked into a gay bar. Scotty: Saul, if you don't want to get tested... Saul: Too late. I already did. Kevin: What? Saul: I took the test this morning. Kevin: Well, that's a good thing, right? Saul: Great for people like you, because it's spring-cleaning for you. Isn't that what you said? You go every year. But you see, I never opened that closet. Regardless of the world that you grew up in, the world that I knew was a lot less accepting. People died. Don't you get it? For me, bad news is pos... So why don't you plate up this food and I will get some fresh air. Justin: Thank you. Nora: Menus. Menus. Scotty: Okay. So the idea behind our restaurant is comfort food meets organic meets tapas. And we are very hopeful and very optimistic. We better be because we open in a month. So you all have your menus. Mark down what you like in order of preference. And I want everybody's opinion. Not just Kevin's. So... Robert: Uhn. Kevin: You all right? Scotty: Dig in. Scotty: Sarah, I know how much you liked the chipotle meat loaf. Sarah: Thank you. Your restaurant's gonna be a big hit. Scotty: Thank you. Kevin: If not, Sarah can support you for the rest of your life. Now that she and Mom are the water queens of Ojai. Sarah: I think we have enough queens in the family. Scotty: Oh, Nora. Nora: Yes. Scotty: Here, this is the mac and cheese. Nora: Oh, Scotty, thank you. Kevin: Come on. Scotty: Okay. Sarah: Bye. Kevin: Bye. Sarah: Mom. Nora: Yeah? Holly: Bye, guys. Rebecca: Don't forget this. Kevin: You angel. Scotty: Thank you. Kevin: Bye. Saul: Bye. Holly: Bye, sweetheart. Kevin: Well, I'm glad you're okay, Saul. You big drama queen. Saul: That's very funny, Kevin. Oh, listen, Holly's getting a phone call. We'll talk later, okay? Kevin: Okay. Bye. ♪ 12 ♪ by Alexi Murdoch ♪ Listen Rebecca: Oh, my God. Justin: What? Is everyone okay? Scotty. Rebecca: Oh, my God, Kevin. Justin: Are you okay? Rebecca: Justin. Scotty: I'm fine. I'm fine. Justin: Kevin, are you okay? Kevin: Help the others. Help Mom. Justin: Are you hurt? Rebecca: What? Kevin: Mom was just... Justin: Mom. Rebecca: Sarah, you okay? Sarah: I think we hit Robert's car. Rebecca: Oh, my God. Sarah: There was a truck. Rebecca: Where's my mom? Nora: Holly's in the car. I can't get Holly out of the car. Rebecca: What? Nora: Holly's hurt. Rebecca: Mom. Nora: Just sit down over here. Call emergency... Kevin: Are you okay? Where's Saul? Where's Saul? Nora: I don't know. Kevin: I see him. Saul? Saul: I'm fine. Kevin: Are you okay? Scotty: Yeah. Good. Don't touch me. You can't.