Season 5 Episode 19

Wouldn’t It Be Nice First Aired: 17/Apr/2011

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Brody: Okay, this is the hard... this is the hardest one of all. Yeah. He's a British soccer player. He just played in L.A. Nora: David Beckham. Brody: Yeah! Kevin: How do you even know that, mom? Nora: Well, you don't have to be a soccer fan or gay to know who David Beckham is. Brody: Okay, okay, this guy is a painter. Nora: A painter. Brody: He's American and he made weird movies, too. H... he painted soup cans. Nora: Andy Warhol. Brody: Nice! Okay. Uh, ooh. Um... mm. Justin: Well, if... if you don't know his name, you can use somebody else who has the same first name. Kevin: Stop helping them. They're killing us. Brody: I know who it is. That's not the problem. This... Kevin: Ten... Nine... Brody: He's a singer. Kevin: Eight... Brody: He's got a really crazy name. Kevin: Seven... Nora: Englebert Humperdinck! Brody & Nora: Yeah! Nora: I don't know how I knew it. Brody: Oh, you pronounced it right, too. Kevin: All right, next time we're splitting you up. Couples can't play together. Nora: You know what? We're winning because we're good, not because we're a couple, and we're not a couple anyway. Brody: I think it's safe to say we're dating, Nora. Nora: You know what? It's not safe to say anything around these guys. They'll misrepresent it and misconstrue it and then use it against you later. Kevin: You're worried about us? What about the neighbors? You've had a large winnebago parked in your driveway for... Nora: Kevin. Brody: You want me to... Justin: Ooh. Hey. Brody: You want me to park it down the block? That's a long walk home every night, Kevin. Kevin: You don't let him stay over, mom? Nora: Would you... my God, this is none of your business. And, no, not even a nap. Justin: Well, what the hell are you guys waiting for? I mean, you've already been there and done that. Brody: Hold it there, tiger. Nora: Justin. Justin: Well, I-I meant with each other, or Sarah wouldn't have thought that he might be her father, for God sakes. Nora: All right. That's it. Game's over. Thank you so much for coming. Brody: I think I'll get another beer. Nora: What is your problem? What's the matter with you? You're making both of us very uncomfortable. Kevin: Mom, relax. It's okay. He's... he's clearly in love with you. Nora: Would you stop? My God. It's none of your b... How do you know he's in love with me? Kevin: Oh, come on. Justin: Ma, he's clearly in love with you. Nora: You know what? I am furious with your husband for taking Olivia off to get ice cream. I made a cake. All the kids love my cake. Kevin: You didn't make a cake. You made a viennese dobos torte. The name alone scared her off, - and stop changing the subject. Nora: All right. All right. All right. I like him... quite a lot. Justin: Ooh. Nora: Shh. Oh, Justin, grow up. If you two would just please back off... who knows where this might go. Kevin: Consider us backed off. Justin: So backing. Olivia: I think grandma was mad when we left. Scotty: Mm, I don't think so. And even if she was, it is worth it... because this ice cream is awesome. Olivia: Don't tell her that I ordered cake batter. Scotty: You know, this chocolate-peanut butter is pretty good, too. Olivia: Wanna switch? Scotty: Totes. Michelle? Michelle: Scotty. Scotty: Oh, my God. What are you doing here? I can't believe it. Michelle: Uh, I... I was just in town for a few days. Scotty: Why didn't you call? Michelle: I was visiting my mom, d d I-I'm only here for a few days, so I didn't really have time to. Scotty: Is everything okay? Michelle: Yeah. You know how moms are. They don't see you for a while, they... they freak out. I... I wish I could talk, but I really... I actu... Olivia: Hi, I'm Olivia. Scotty: Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. This is, um, this is our daughter Olivia. Michelle: Your daughter? Scotty: Yeah. Michelle: I didn't know you guys... Olivia: They adopted me. Scotty: You know, I've known Michelle since I was about your age. Michelle: Scotty, I've gotta go. Scotty: You know, Olivia, I just remembered, Kevin asked for us to get him a pint of mint chocolate chip. Would you get us one to go? Olivia: Sure. You guys want to talk. I get it. Scotty: Thank you. Michelle: Scotty, listen, I know that you want to talk and everything, but I... I can't do th... Scotty: Michelle, seriously, where have you been? It's like you dropped off the face of the planet. Michelle: It's New York. It's... it's intense. Scotty: Michelle, we don't blame you in any way for what happened. We knew that when you offered to be our surrogate that... that miscarriages happen. Michelle: I don't want to talk about this. Scotty: There's nothing you could've done differently. So you're still in New York? Michelle: For now. Scotty: And you're staying with your mom out here? Michelle: Uh, no. Scotty: Listen, what are you doing tonight? I would love for you... Michelle: I... I can't do this, Scotty. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Scotty: Michelle... Michelle: I'm just... I'm not... I'm not doing well right now. Scotty: Mich... Michelle. Michelle: I'm sorry, Scotty. Kevin: What do you mean, she seemed off? Scotty: She just wasn't the same Michelle I know. Kevin: Well, I'm not surprised. What did you expect? She moved across the country. She made it perfectly clear, she didn't want to see us. Scotty: I know, but she's my friend. Maybe... maybe I should've tried harder to repair things. Kevin: How? She changed her cell phone number. She didn't even give you an address, okay? She cut us out, Scotty. Scotty: She couldn't even look me in the eye. You know, this one time in High School, she disappeared after a really bad breakup. But she called me so that everyone would know that s she was all right. Kevin: Well, I thought you said she was only gone for a week. Scotty: Yeah. She came back to drama class like nothing happened. Then they made her go see a shrink. Kevin: What are you trying to say? Scotty: Maybe the miscarriage set something off in her. Kevin: No. No, no, no. I think you're making too much outta this. Scotty: Maybe. But it's hard to see her in pain like this. I want to help her. She wasn't just our surrogate, Kevin. Kevin: I don't think she wants your help, Scotty. Michelle doesn't want to go back there now. I know I don't. Scotty: Olivia. Kevin: Hey, sweetheart. What's going on? Scotty: Are you excited about the zoo? When's Mrs. Turner coming to get ya? Olivia: Now. Kevin: Olivia, about what you just heard... Um... Olivia: That's them. I'm gonna go get my jacket. Scotty: How long was she standing there? Kevin: Long enough to wonder if she was second choice. Damn it. Kevin: So what animals did you see? Olivia: A zebra, lions... stuff that you see at the zoo. Scotty: Uh, listen, Olivia, about what you heard earlier today... Olivia: You tried to have a baby with Michelle, didn't you? Kevin: She was trying to help us, yes. Olivia: How? Scotty: Well, it's not like either of us... Oh, boy. Um... Olivia: What's a surrogate? Kevin: Uh, it's actually the woman who carries the baby to term, but ours wasn't born. Olivia: Is that why Michelle doesn't want to see you, because you're still sad? Scotty: Well... I mean, we were, yes, but then we found you. Do you understand? Olivia: Yeah. Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: Good, because we want you to be okay. Olivia: I am. Can I please wear my new leggings to Luc's show? Scotty: Of course. Kevin: Sounds very chic. Olivia: Cool. I'll go get dressed. Kevin: Great. Scotty: Think she's okay? Kevin: I don't know. Scotty: We're only supposed to say as much as they ask, right? Kevin: It'll be good for her to go to the show, spend some time with us. Scotty: Um, I'm gonna have to meet you there. Kevin: Why? Scotty: Well, I've been calling friends trying to find Michelle all day, and nobody has heard from her since she left for New York. Kevin: Okay, that is weird. Scotty: And then a friend said she saw her at the W Hotel. I called over to the hotel, she didn't pick up the phone, so... Kevin: Scotty, I think we have enough on our hands without this. Scotty: What if something's really wrong with her? She was my best friend. Kevin: Well, what am I supposed to tell Olivia when she asks where you're going? Scotty: Tell her the truth. Sarah: I think he's really mad at me. Kevin: Well, if you cleaned my office, I'd kill you. Sarah: Why? You can clean my office anytime, right, Olivia? I thought I was doing him a favor. Now I can't even get five minutes to talk to him about it. Kevin: Well, look at him. He's famous now. Olivia: Like a Jonas brother. Kevin: Yeah. Sarah: Which one? Kevin & Olivia: Joe. Sarah: Ah. Olivia: When's Scotty getting here? He's gonna miss the show. Kevin: He'll be here. Don't worry. Sarah: Where is Scotty? Olivia: He doesn't want to talk about it in front of me. Kevin: That's not true. I told you. He's gone to see Michelle. Olivia: Their surrogate. Kevin: He ran into her. It's no big deal. Olivia: Then why is he going to see her? Kevin: Um... I don't know. Scotty: Hey. Sarah: Oh. Scotty: I love your leggings. Kevin: Everything okay? Scotty: Uh, she checked out. Kevin: We should probably... Scotty: Right. Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: Hey, do you want to look at some art? Olivia: See what I mean? They don't want to talk about it in front of me. Sarah: Got it. Kevin: Come on. Come on. Kevin: Are you okay? Scotty: Oh, I don't know. It's like she's running away from her whole life. Kevin: Yeah. Olivia: Are you guys still talking about Michelle? Scotty: Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. Kevin: You know what? You want to get one of those bottled root beers? Olivia: No, I want you to tell me why you went to go see Michelle. Scotty: I just wanted to talk to her. Kevin: Yeah. Olivia: Are you guys gonna have another baby with her? Scotty: No, no. Kevin: Is that what you think? Olivia: I don't know. Kevin: Liv... Scotty: Okay, you're right. I have to let this thing with Michelle go. Kevin: I'm sorry. Olivia: I can't sleep. Scotty: What's wrong, sweetie? Kevin: Come here. Olivia: Can I ask you guys one more question? Scotty: Of course. You can ask us any question you want. Olivia: When you decided to adopt, were you trying to adopt a baby? Kevin: No. We wanted a family. And when we met you at the fair that day, we realized, we'd found one. Olivia: So you don't wish that I was younger when you met me? Kevin: No. Scotty: Olivia, you're perfect. The three of us... this is our family. Kevin: Yeah. Olivia: Is that why Michelle's mad at you, because you don't want to try and have another baby with her? Scotty: Michelle's going through a hard time right now. That... that's all. Kevin: Yeah. Olivia: And she doesn't want to talk? Kevin: Not right now. Olivia: She's your friend. You shouldn't give up on her. I can be a pain sometimes, and you guys never give up on me. Scotty: I'll tell you what... we will promise not to give up on Michelle if you promise not to worry anymore. Olivia: Deal. Scotty: Deal? Kevin: Deal? Scotty: Deal. Kevin: Deal? Deal? Scotty: Deal. Deal. Scotty: Kevin. Kevin: What? Scotty: She's right. Kevin: Who? Scotty: Olivia. We can't give up. We have to find Michelle and try to help her. Kevin: How? Scotty: When I went to the hotel, the clerk said she ordered a car service. She had to cancel it when she checked out. Keviny: So what are you saying? Scotty: Well, it's 6:00 A.M., which means wherever she is, she's getting ready to leave for L.A.X., terminal 3. That's what the clerk said. Kevin: What about Olivia? Scotty: Saul gets here in 15 minutes to make his hollandaise sauce. Kevin: My head's about to explode. Let's go. Scotty: Anything? Kevin: I've circled every self check-in kiosk twice. I'm pretty sure the T.S.A.'s about ready to strip-search me. Scotty: Well, I guess she could've taken a flight last night. Kevin: Yeah. We always knew it was a long shot. Scotty: Should we go home? Kevin: Okay. But first, I'm starving. You want to buy me an overpriced pretzel? Kevin: Of course. Scotty: Thanks. Kevin: I'm gonna have to spin for three hours to get rid of this. What? Scotty: That's her. Kevin: What? Scotty: Michelle! Michelle! Kevin: Oh, my God. Scotty: Michelle! Kevin: Michelle! Excuse us. Scotty: Michelle! Clerk: I need your ticket and I.D., sir. Kevin: Uh, we have to get to our friend. Clerk: Only ticketed passengers. Scotty: No, you don't understand. That could be our baby. Scotty: Michelle! Kevin: Michelle! Scotty: Michelle! Kevin: Michelle! Scotty: Michelle! Kevin: Michelle!