Season 1 Episode 7

Northern Exposure First Aired: 5/Nov/2006

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Kevin: I lost my virginity in Ojai. Both times. First to this girl called Sarah Gimble. And second, one summer later to this guy, this total stud. Everyone in Ojai was in love with him. Scotty: What was his name? Kevin: Tucker Booth. Really tall with this bleached blond hair. I lured him into this tree house Tommy and I had built. Hey, you know what we should do? Scotty: Google Tucker Booth? Kevin: No, we should go up there this weekend. I mean, the thought of not seeing the place again is breaking my heart. Scotty: I thought you had work to do. Kevin: Yeah, I do, but I can do it up there. And I want to see the orchards. Scotty: I wanna see the tree house. Nora: Hi. Kitty: Hey, guys, hi! Kevin: Hi! Kitty: Surprise! Kevin: Hi, hi, good. I thought you were coming next week. Nora: I Changed my mind. Kitty: Woman's prerogative. Nora: It is. Certainly is. Kevin: Is that Dave's truck out there? Nora: Yeah. Kitty: Yeah, of course it is. He came to remodel some things. Nora: We're packing some boxes. Kevin: Are you cold, Mom? Kitty: Sure. Nora: No. Kitty: It's freezing. Nora: I'm kind of cold. Kitty: The blanket's on, she's all right. Scotty: Whose hybrid is that? Kitty: Well, that's Warren's. Because, well, what see happened is we're preparing this big interview and then Warren decided to come up to bring me some very big papers and stuff. Nora: It's so great of him. Kevin: That's really nice of him. Did he bring Amber? Kitty: You know... Oh. Nora: Jesus, Joseph and Mary. Kitty: I don't believe it. Kevin: Who is it? Nora: It's the rest of the family, honey. Kevin: Holy crap! Nora: No kidding. Kitty: I mean, that is really delicate. Kevin: I could barely form words. But I think I managed to let him down gently. Kitty: What? You said no? Sarah: You said no? You did not. Scotty: What? You did it gently? Kevin: Shi, shi, shut up! Kitty: You said no? Kevin: Are you being serious? What did you expect? Kitty: Hello. Hey. Sarah: How could you not want to help Julia and Tommy? Kevin: OK, take a minute Sarah, and think this through. This does not fall within the parameters of normal brotherly duty. Sarah: Since when is this being a normal family? Scotty: Having eaten a few meals with you people I have to agree with Sarah at that point. Kevin: OK, I'm starting to regret that I ever told you. Sarah: Yeah, so am I, Kevin. This isn't like you. Scotty: Don't you find it the teeniest bit odd that you, a gay man, are suddenly embracing the idea of "normal"? Kevin: You know for once, Scotty, I would like to have an opinion without you connecting it to my sexuality. Nora: I told you they'd exhaust themselves and they have. Joe: Hey, Justin. This is for you. What did I tell you? That is you, right? Justin: I don't know. Mom, you ever make me wear a bonnet? Sarah: That's got to be you. Tommy was four when Dad got that car. Justin: Don't remember having a squished face. Maybe one of you dropped me that day. Joe: Maybe you fell out of a tree house naked. Justin: Yeah, the attic was taken. Sarah: Joe! Nora: Justin, this isn't you. I don't know who it is. Some neighbor kid, I guess. Kitty: Oh, you know what, maybe it's that boy, what was his name? Ah, Tucker Booth. What? Nora: Julia, honey, are you all right? Tommy: Hey, sweetie. Let me take this. Sarah: Are you happy now? Kevin: Excuse me? Sarah: You heard me. Kevin: Stop it. Nora: What are you two fighting about? Kevin: We're not. Sarah: I just think you're being selfish. Tommy: Kevin! Are you, I can't believe you! Kevin: I didn't bring this up. She did, OK? Sarah: Tommy, you have no reason to feel weird. He's the one who should feel bad. Nora: Who should feel bad? Julia: Oh, God, Tommy! You asked him, didn't you? You asked Kevin for his sperm and didn't tell me? Dave: This is really wonderful pasta, Nora. Tommy: Honey, I'm sorry, OK? I shouldn't have done it. I wanted it to be a surprise. Nora: Tommy, what the hell is going on? Is there something special about Kevin's sperm I'm unaware of? Tommy: I'm sterile, Mom. I can't have kids. Nora: Oh, Tommy! Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Sarah: He asked Kevin to... help, but he doesn't want to. Kevin: No, It's not that I don't want to help... Sarah: It's his role to save the traditional American family, which is kinda strange, since he's with his boyfriend. Kevin: Do you have any opinions on this Kitty? I could use some help here. Kitty: Oh, You know, Kevin, I'm sorry, but I don't necessarily agree with your views. Kevin: Well, you are a conservative. What about all the family values you spew? Kitty: Well, the last time I looked, Kevin, we're a family. Kevin: OK, guys. I'm sorry. I don't think anyone is thinking about this kid but me. I'm a lawyer. I see this kind of thing every day, how it blows up in your face. Plus, we can't keep secrets in this family. How long would it be until his friends find out his biological dad is actually his gay uncle? Sarah: I'm sory Kevin, you sound like you're channeling Jerry Falwell on Sunday morning. Kevin: Grow up! Sarah: I know you don't agree with him. You're more evolved than that. Scotty: I don't. Kevin: Scotty, please! This is my family. If you're not gonna support me, then, shut up! I'm sorry. Scotty: May I be excused from the table? Kevin: Scotty, please! Look, this is... This is not... Come on, don't be like this! Scotty: You're not only telling me what I should say, how I should be, too? Kevin: Come on, that's not what... Could we please just talk about this? Scotty: Warren's offered me a ride. If you want to talk, we'll talk back in L.A. Kevin: Come on, please, would you... Can we... Kitty: Oh, well. Scotty: Well, I think I've succeeded in making everyone mad at me. Kitty: I'm not mad at you.