Season 4 Episode 21

Where There's Smoke... First Aired: 25/Apr/2010

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Kitty: Oh, gosh, hang on. It's Kevin. Hi, what are you doing up? Kevin: I couldn't sleep and I need some advice. Kitty: Okay, be quick about it. I've got Sarah on the other line. Kevin: Okay, when you were pregnant, what was your HCG level? Kitty: What? Kevin, I can't hear you. Kevin: I have to be quiet. I promised Scotty I wouldn't go online, but I can't stop reading. Your HCG level, what was it? Kitty: I don't know, I just peed on a stick. Kevin: Ah! Ours is 53. Michelle's going for her second test, but it has to be double. It'd be so much easier if we were straight. We'd just do a daily boob check and see if she was pregnant or not. Kitty: Oh, my God. That's it. Kevin: What's it? Kitty: I gotta go. Kevin: Wait... Scotty: Ah, if you just called Michelle at this hour to have her assess the tenderness of her breasts, I'm gonna kill you. Kevin: I'm not even on the phone. Scotty: You are Googling HCG levels, aren't you? Kevin: Well, it's better than what most people do at odd hours on a computer. Well, did you know 73 percent of people ten days post-transfer who get a 53 end up with a BFN? Big Fat Negative. Scotty: Kevin. Kevin: What? Scotty: You heard what the doctor said. We're supposed to stay off the Internet. Our situation is unique to us. Everybody's results are gonna be different. Kevin: I heard the doctor. Scotty: Okay. Well, then, why don't you look up movie times? It'll take our mind off things until Michelle calls. Kevin: Okay, fine, what do you wanna see? Scotty: Oh! Wanna go to a psychic? Kevin: How's that gonna take things off our mind? You wanna ask a stranger if she thinks we're pregnant? Scotty: No, but, you know, it'd be fun. "Miss Nadine. World-renowned." Psychic to the stars. Kevin: World-renowned? Scotty: Yeah. Nadine: I'm seeing a journey. A voyage of some sort. Kevin: Are these the stars you reference in your ad? Scotty: Kevin. Kevin: Well, I'm sorry, I've never seen these people. Scotty: I'm sorry, you were saying something about a journey? Nadine: Yes. It's not for you. But for someone close. Perhaps a family member? Scotty: Oh, my God, that's totally Luc. My sister-in-law's boyfriend. Visa issues. Does that ring a bell? Kevin: I think you just rang it for her. Nadine: That would make sense. But before he leaves, something else is coming. Kevin: Don't tell her. Nadine: This thing I see coming. It's a big, dark cloud. I can't tell you what it is, but it's going to bring turmoil. And maybe even smoke. Kevin: Smoke? I thought psychics only brought good news. Nadine: That's a fortune cookie. But for what it's worth, I am sensing new life. Scotty: Like a baby? Kevin: Oh, What? Scotty: What? That's what we're here for. Nadine: Well, now that I know what it is, yes. It's a baby. Scotty: Kevin, did you hear that? Kevin: Yeah. Yay. Kevin: Two hundred bucks down the drain, I still don't feel distracted. Scotty: No, but you should be relieved. Kevin. We're totally pregnant. Kevin: What, is that based on the tenderness of my breasts? Scotty: No, she was dead-on about a lot of things. Luc. Kevin: Yeah, because you told her about Luc. Scotty: No, she said journey first. Kevin: Ugh. Scotty: And there was that thing about new life. Kevin: Yeah. Could she have been any more generic? Oh, my God, The Wicked Witch of the West is in town. Scotty: Who? Kevin: Grandma. Gonna be at Mom's tonight. Scotty: Wait, Ida's here? Kevin: Mm-hm. Scotty: Kevin, she's the dark force. She's totally the dark force bringing turmoil. Kevin: Ida's cranky, okay? A dark force? Kind of a stretch. All right, smoke, what was that about? Scotty: Clouds. We could paint clouds on the ceiling of the nursery. Kevin: I don't think predictions count if you make them come true. Plus, we don't have a nursery. Scotty: Kevin, I just wanna believe. Kevin: Was there a fire? Saul: Everybody's okay. Kevin: Oh, wow! Scotty: It's true. Saul: Everybody's safe. It's fine. Scotty: So there was smoke? Kevin: Can you smell that? Scotty: Mm-hm. Kevin: I love you. Scotty: It's true. It's really true. Saul: Excuse me. Excuse me. Kevin: Yeah. Saul: Is there something wrong with the two of you? Kevin: No. No, we're just glad everyone's okay. Nora: Is there a chip or something? Rebecca: Oh, no, I'm just checking to see if it's the same company that we registered for. I've been obsessed with dinnerware. Justin: We've received so many gifts we have no idea where we're gonna put everything. Ida: Well, buy a house. You're married. That's what people do. Rebecca: Well, actually, there is this one house that we love. Kevin: I didn't know med school paid so well. Rebecca: We're not in the market. Just, who knows? If things turn around with Ojai... Um, no, but, I mean, we love our apartment. Don't get me wrong. There's plenty of room. Scotty: Our place is tiny. We're adding a baby to the mix. Nora: You've heard? Did you hear something? Scotty: No, I just meant at some point. Kevin: Yeah, hopefully. Yes. And the fates are with us. Scotty: Sarah, you okay? Sarah: Mm-hm. I'm just... gonna get wine for the table. Saul: Sarah, there's a bottle right here. Ida: Oh, Justin, I was so sorry to hear about Bingo. Your dog. Your mother mentioned that he passed recently. Justin: Uh, Grandma, Bingo... Bingo passed away about 20 years ago. Nora: Well, I didn't say it was yesterday. Ida: No, you said "recently." Well, why? So that I would feel better? Nora: Well, I don't know. Is that such a bad thing? Ida: No, of course not, dear. It's one of the wonderful things about you. You're such a pleaser. Saul: Mom, come on. Ida: Like taking the blame for the fire that I caused. Nora: Mother, look, everyone is safe. No one got hurt. It doesn't matter whose fault it was. Ida: Well, it matters to me, damn it. Kitty: ... to confront her about why Robert didn't get the job. Kevin: You went to see Ann Waterman? Sarah: Kevin. Have you been eavesdropping outside that door? Kevin: No. Well, a little. Just at the end. Kitty: Wait a minute, did Robert tell you anything about some sort of job in intelligence? Kevin: Oh, the job? The big secret job? God, yeah, what about it? Kitty: I went to see Ann Waterman today because I wanted to talk to her about how it was discrimination that Robert didn't get the job because of his heart surgery and she looked at me like I was crazy. Kevin: Meaning? Kitty: There's another reason why Robert didn't get the job. Kevin: Oh, you think there's a scandal you don't know about? Kitty: Kev, let's just turn the dial down on the drama queen. Kevin: Okay, well, maybe he was embarrassed. Kitty: He doesn't get embarrassed. He wasn't born with the ability to... Sarah: Kitty. Kitty: What? Sarah: Can we not talk about birth, please? Kitty: Right. Right, sorry. Sorry. Kevin: Has Scotty said something to you two? Kitty: About what? Oh, my God, are you pregnant too? Kevin: What do you mean "too"? Who else is pregnant? Sarah: I don't know. Kitty? Who's pregnant? Kitty: Nobody. I never said anybody was pregnant. Kevin: No, you said "too." "Too" implies somebody else is pregnant. Kitty: Yeah. I meant boo. Sarah: So who's the first pers... Kevin? Kevin: What? Sarah: Are you pregnant? Kevin: Oh, we went to a psychic and she predicted a new life. Sarah: Ah Kevin: But maybe that new life isn't ours. Maybe it's one of yours. So tell me, is it? Is it? Is one of you pregnant? Sarah: Luc. H-Hi. Luc: So the birds and the bees, yeah? You were serious? Kevin: It is you. Sarah: No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Kevin: But it might be? Luc: That would be amazing. Sarah: No, it's not amazing. It's not amazing, Luc. You're leaving tomorrow and we were careful. We were really, really careful. I thought we were. Kevin: You thought you were being careful? Sarah: Kevin, what is your problem? Scotty: Hey, are we okay in here? Kevin: No, we're not. The new life? Scotty: Yeah? Kevin: It's her. It's Sarah. Scotty: What? Kevin: She stole our baby. Scotty: You're...? Uh... Kevin. Saul: Ma, you want some more salad? Kevin: Bye, Mom. Bye, Gram. Scotty: Kevin, wait. What, is Kevin leaving? Saul: Yeah, it sounded like it. Kevin: Please, please don't try and get my hopes up again. You should've just left me to my blogs and my dreams of motherhood forums, full of ectopic pregnancies, BFNs, and people just acknowledging what a huge miracle it is to get pregnant. At least that way, I'd have been able to manage my expectations, and wrap my head around the disappointment. Scotty: No, you wouldn't have. Even if Michelle turns out not to be pregnant, Miss Nadine or no Miss Nadine, it's still going to hurt. There's no way to soften that blow. Kevin: I don't think I can handle it without it being softened. Scotty: Yes, you can. Because I will be right here with you. Kevin: You know, maybe this is just a sign that it's not meant to be. Scotty: You're trying to soften again. Kevin: If we really wanna be parents, maybe we could get a dog. Scotty: I like dogs. Kevin: It's such a shame it's so un-PC to buy a dog. Look at that goldendoodle. Scotty: Oh, my God, so cute. Maybe we could rescue one. Kevin: Well, I don't think goldendoodles need rescuing. Scotty: Hi, Michelle. Wait, wait, wait. Before you say anything, we just... We want you to know we're grateful for everything you're going through for us and no matter what happens, there's no blame, there's no... Four hundred and sixty-one? Scotty: Four hundred and sixty-one? Kevin: Her HCG. She's pregnant. Scotty: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Kevin: We're pregnant. We're pregnant. ♪ Open Your Eyes ♪ by Snow Patrol ♪ Listen Kevin: Baby names? When did you have time to get these? Scotty: Oh, a couple weeks ago. Kevin: Look at you, Mr. Quietly Confident. Scotty: I knew all along. Kevin: Well, forget Miss Nadine. Looks like you found your calling. Scotty: Harmony Wandell. Kevin: Augustus Walker. Hey, you know what? Scotty: We're never gonna agree on a name? Kevin: No, no, Miss Nadine's predictions. There's one outstanding. You know, the one about a loved one making a journey. Scotty: Well, it's got to be your grandma. Kevin: Oh, yeah, I guess.