Season 4 Episode 10 - music

Nearlyweds First Aired: 06/Dec/2009

"These Days" (2009)

"These Days" by Jen Stills Everyone arrives at the beach. Lyrics: Well I've been out walking I don't do that much talking these days These days-- These days I seem to think a lot About the things that I forgot to do For you And all the times I had the chance to And I had a lover It's so hard to risk another these days These days-- Now if I seem to be afraid To live the life I have made in song Well it's just that I've been losing for so long I'll keep on moving Things are bound to be improving these days One of these days-- These days I sit on corner stones And count the time in quarter tones to ten, my friend Don't confront me with my failures I had not forgotten them

Season 4 Episode 10 - music

Nearlyweds First Aired: 06/Dec/2009

"Song Up In Her Head" (2009)

"Long Journey" by Sarah Jarosz Julia arrives to take Elizabeth home. Lyrics: I have just begun A long journey that will run The length and width of summer time And the cool fall air will guide me home Yea the cool fall air will blow me home You'll be miles away I want to go, but I wanna stay The music beggin' me to go But your love can guide me home Yea your love can guide me home Stary nights and summer sun I think you just might be the one With this mountain pass keep runnin' on And I wonder if your love and guide me home Oh yea I wonder if your love can guide me home I have just begun A long journey that will run The length and width of summer time And the cool fall air will blow me home Oh love can guide me home Oh yea, I wonder if your love can guide me home

Season 4 Episode 10 - music

Nearlyweds First Aired: 06/Dec/2009

"Facing Future" (1993)

"White Sandy Beach of Hawai'i" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole The family arrives for the rehearsal dinner. Lyrics: I saw you in my dreams We were walking hand in hand On a white, sandy beach of Hawaii We were playing in the sun We were having so much fun On a white, sandy beach of Hawaii The sound of the ocean Soothes my restless soul The sound of the ocean Rocks me all night long Those hot long summer days Lying there in the sun On a white, sandy beach of Hawaii The sound of the ocean Soothes my restless soul The sound of the ocean Rocks me all night long Last night in my dreams I saw your face again We were there in the sun On a white, sandy beach of Hawaii

Season 4 Episode 10

Nearlyweds First Aired: 06/Dec/2009

<< S4E9 S4E11 >>

Kevin: I can't believe how much she looks like Julia. Tommy: Yeah, she gets her blond hair from Julia, and she gets her curls from... Kevin: Don't say that. Tommy: Curly. Kevin: You had to say it. I'm really glad you and Julia worked out your differences. Tommy: We still have differences. Kevin: Yeah, I know that. But it wasn't that long ago you had no visitation rights at all. Now you're allowed to travel with her all by yourself. That's, that's pretty huge. Tommy: Yeah, I guess. Kevin: She does know Elizabeth is here, right? Tommy: It's my weekend, Kevin. Kevin: Did you tell Julia you were coming to this wedding? Tommy: Look, I didn't know I was coming until this morning. Kevin: Please tell me you're kidding. Tommy: What? It's a two-hour flight. Kevin: You have to call her right now. Tommy: Why? I'm supposed to drop her off Monday morning, and that's what I'll do. Kevin: It doesn't matter what you do or when you take her back, because your custody agreement forbids you to take her out of state. You know what? I can't believe you didn't talk to me first about... Tommy, I'm a lawyer. Tommy: What would you have said? Kevin: I would say you kidnapped her. Scotty: Do you think she'll find out? Kevin: I don't know. The lawyer side of my brain is saying, "Do something because she might press charges." The brother side of my brain is saying, "Maybe she won't find out. It'll all blow over. And even if she does, she's not the litigious type." Scotty: Who's winning? Kevin: My lawyer side did graduate third in his class. Scotty: I'm leaning with the brother side, if that helps. Kevin: Really? Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: Well, then maybe you're right. Maybe she won't find out, and it'll all be fine. I mean, how could...? Oh, my God. Scotty: What? Kevin: Oh, my God. I'm so stupid. Elizabeth's talking. She's like the most verbal 3-year-old on the planet. Scotty: Oh... Kevin: She's just gonna go home and tell Julia what a wonderful time she had at Grandma's house. Scotty: You know, I still think Julia would be fine with it. Kevin: I can't take that chance. I'm gonna have to convince her to be fine with it. Scotty: What side of your brain is talking now? Kevin: Both. It's unanimous. I don't, I don't have a choice. Tommy: You just couldn't resist screwing this up for me, could you? Kevin: I didn't screw it up. I fixed it. Tommy: There was nothing to fix, Kevin. Nora: What is going on here? Tommy: He called Julia, told her that I kidnapped Elizabeth. Nora: What? Kevin, why would you do that? Kevin: He took her across state lines without permission. Sarah: No. Tommy: Look, everything was fine until you picked up the phone. Kevin: I didn't have a choice. Sooner or later, Julia would've found out. Naturally she was upset, so I talked it through with her. And I didn't use the word "kidnapping." Nora: Wait. So he didn't kidnap her? Tommy: Of course not, Mom. Kevin: It doesn't matter. I took care of it. Tommy: You took care of it? Kevin: Yeah! Tommy: Then why did Julia just send me an irate e-mail? Kevin: You're lucky that's all you got. Could been much worse. Tommy: Kevin, stay out of my business. Stop trying to interfere in Elizabeth's life. Sarah: That's enough, Tommy. Shut up. You and I are gonna go for a drive. You're gonna calm down. We will figure this out. Tommy: I'm calm. There is nothing to figure out. You will always be a better lawyer than you are a brother, Kevin. That will never change. Kevin: I'm sorry for trying to keep you out of jail a second time. Sarah: Shut up! Nora: Stop it. Stop it. Stop. ♪ White Sandy Beach of Hawai'i ♪ by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole ♪ Listen Rebecca: Hi. Oh, this is so sweet. Holly: Oh, what a great idea. Nora: Scotty did it all. He even made a pupu platter. Holly: Wow. Scotty: Oh, we have mai tais and Chi Chis in the kitchen. God, that sounded so gay, didn't it? Rebecca: Thank you so much for everything. Scotty: I wanna make you something. Rebecca: Okay. Holly: What can I do to help? Nora: Nothing. Nothing. Scotty has done it all. I think you and I deserve to relax and have fun. Holly: Oh, I like your attitude, Nora. Nora: It's the new me. Okay? Sarah: Oh, that's the door. Sarah: Aloha! Welcome to Weeki-Wacki Walker World. Kevin: Hi. Kitty: You look beautiful. Sarah: Hey. Robert: Thank you. Kevin: So how's Tommy? Sarah: He's agreed to a truce. But don't push it. Kevin: Fine. Sarah: Oh. Are you okay? Kitty: Yeah. Scotty: Oh, easy on the rum. Saul's already got an orchid behind his ear. Nora: Oh, well, that's a very good idea. How's this? Scotty: It looks much better on you. Sarah: Justin better hurry up. There'll be no more coconut shrimp. Nora: What is he thinking? He's 45 minutes late already. Scotty: Julia. Sarah: Oh, my God. Nora: Julia. I'm so glad to see you. I had no idea you were coming. Julia: I didn't either. Could you please ask Tommy to come in here? Kevin: Well, Kevin said he talked to you, that he worked it all out. Julia: I know. I thought I could do this. I thought I could let it go. But I can't. Please tell Kevin I'm sorry. Sarah: Listen, Julia, the whole family's here for the rehearsal dinner. Nora: Elizabeth is having such a wonderful time playing with her cousins. Julia: I'm sorry, Nora. I need to speak to Tommy now. ♪ Long Journey ♪ by Sarah Jarosz ♪ Listen Nora: Okay. Julia: And can you bring Elizabeth too? Nora: Yeah. Sarah: Oh, God. Listen, Julia, I know that you're furious. I would be too. But it's been so long, and... Julia: Sarah, my baby was supposed to be playing in the park across from my house. What if something happened to her while she was down here, and I couldn't get to her in time? Tommy: Hey. Can you guys...? Can you leave us alone? Julia: No, Tommy. There's nothing we need to talk about. Tommy: I just wanted my daughter to be at my brother's wedding. Julia: Tommy, please. I'm trying not to ruin Justin's party. Tommy: You're punishing me for what I did last year, and I get it. I do. I just... I want her to know her whole family. Please, please don't take this out on her. Julia: I need to see her now. Tommy: What are you gonna do at this hour? Julia: Go to a hotel. We're booked on a flight first thing in the morning. Scotty: Don't do that. You can stay with us. I'll take you to the airport in the morning. Julia: Hi, sweetie. Elizabeth: Mommy, look what I got. Julia: I'm gonna give you a big hug. Nora: Okay. So I have her jacket and her flowers, and I've got her little pig here. Julia: We're gonna go home now, okay? Elizabeth: Okay. Julia: Will you say bye to Daddy? Tommy: Bye, baby. Elizabeth: Bye. Tommy: I love you. See you soon, okay? Nora: Bye, sugar pie. I love you to pieces. Julia: Okay. Come on, sweetie. Please tell Justin and Rebecca I said congratulations. Sarah: Oh, Mom. Julia: I'm still shaking. I'm sure the whole family must hate me now. Scotty: Nobody hates you. Julia: I wanna trust Tommy. I do. But it's just, every time I let him in, even a little bit, I end up getting hurt. Scotty: Julia, you and I have a lot in common. There should be a support group for people who marry Walkers. Kevin: Gee, thanks. Scotty: I'm just saying, they can seem like a force of nature. But, Julia, let's face it, you are just as strong as Tommy. And right now, you're stronger. I mean, you have a job. You have a life. The only reason he's in Seattle is because of you. Julia: So, what are you saying? Scotty: Maybe it's time you realize you can live without him. Maybe it's time you forgive him. ♪ These Days ♪ by Jen Stills ♪ Listen Saul: Tommy, you'll fill Kevin in on all of this, okay? Tommy: You know, maybe you should do that. He and I aren't really... Cooper: There he is. Tommy: Elizabeth. Hi, babe. Hi. Come here. Oh, my God. Who's that? Let me see that. Ah.. -- Kitty: Hey. Justin: Hi. Kitty: Look at you. Justin: Yeah. Kitty: Oh, my God. I can't believe it. Okay, I've got your boutonniere. Justin: Is this the official duty of the matron of honor? Kitty: No, this is the official duty of the big sister. -- Justin: Wow. Saul: So here we are. Welcome, finally, to the wedding of Justin and Rebecca. It's a cliché this moment to say, "Dearly beloved." I'm sure at most weddings those words don't apply to all the guests. But in this instance, with this family, whose love can vanquish any problem that comes its way, those words have never been more true. So I begin this wedding with the words, "Dearly beloved." Justin has asked Kitty to recite a poem by E. E. Cummings. Kitty: I carry your heart with me Kitty: I carry it in my heart Kitty: I am never without it Kitty: Anywhere I go you go, my dear Kitty: And whatever is done by only me Kitty: Is your doing, my darling Kitty: I fear no fate Kitty: For you are my fate, my sweet Justin: Kitty. Nora: Kitty! Kevin: Kitty! Sarah: Kitty! Justin: She's not breathing. Nora: She's not breathing. My God. Tommy: Hey, we're at Leo Carrillo Beach. We need an ambulance now. Nora: Is she breathing? Is she breathing? Justin: Oh, Kitty, come on. Nothing. Nora: Oh, Kitty!

Season 4 Episode 9 - music

Pregnant Pause First Aired: 29/Nov/2009

"Radio Retaliation (Dig)" (2008)

"Hare Krsna" by Thievery Corporation Scotty & Sarah discuss Simon. Lyrics: É importante manter A paz interior E não deixar morrer A chama do amor O novo amanhecer Está bem perto daqui É tempo de mudar É tempo de sorrir Deixe a vida te levar Deixe a vida ensinar você Deixe a vida te levar Ensinar você a se mexer O ser humano tema forçapara destruir O mal que existeem habitar cada um de nós Presica persistir e, se conectar Faver as coisas que a vida tem pra oferecer, oferecer Hare Krishna é do bem Zen budista é do bem Hare Krishna é do bem Meditação Deixe a vida te levar Ensinar você a se mexer Deixe a vida te levar Ensinar você a se mexer É importante manter A paz interior E não deixar morrer A chama do amor Hare Krishna Zen budista a yoga Meditação, meditação Meditação, meditação

Season 4 Episode 9

Pregnant Pause First Aired: 29/Nov/2009

<< S4E8 S4E10 >>

Scotty: God, who knew a fertility clinic could be so sterile? Kevin: You expecting silk sheets? Scotty: I feel like I'm about to have my teeth cleaned, not make a baby. Kevin: You'll be fine. Scotty: Will you come with me? Kevin: No. It's a clinic, not a motel. Scotty: Yeah, well, what if I can't, you know... Kevin: Well, that's what the porn's for. Scotty: Porn? Really? Scotty: Oh, yeah. Kevin: There's like a smorgasbord of smut and filth back there. Oh, when I did this for Tommy and Julia, there was this one... Scotty: Wait, what was it called? Oh. Nurse: Gentlemen, which one of you would like to go first? Scotty: I will. Sarah: Hi, Kevin. Kitty: I get to tell him! Kevin: Hey, Sarah. How you doing? Sarah: Mom's having a torrid affair. Kevin: What? Kitty: Thanks a lot, Sarah. Sarah: Sorry, kid. He called me. You have a husband. Give me this. Kevin: I am so regretting being a sympathetic brother right now. Sarah: If this is a pity call, you can just go back to work. Kevin: I'm waiting for my husband to finish masturbating. Sarah: Well, sometimes it's easier that way. Kevin: No, we're at the fertility clinic. We're getting tested today. Kitty: Hello? Sarah: Hang on. Okay, you're both on speaker. Talk amongst yourselves. Kitty: Oh, Kevin, you wouldn't have believed it. She's all googly-eyed with that after-sex glow. I thought they were gonna light up in the kitchen. Kevin: I really can't listen to this right now. Scotty: Your turn. Kevin: There's not a DVD in the whole of West Hollywood that could counteract what I just heard. Sarah: Oh, that's Justin. Kitty: Justin. Do I get to tell Justin? Sarah: Hold on. Kevin: No. Take it. Look, if there's a chance in hell of me procreating I have to hang up right now. Bye. ♪ Hare Krsna ♪ by Thievery Corporation ♪ Listen Scotty: Knock, knock. Sarah: Oh, hey! Nora: Hi. I'm gonna get this in the oven and then I'll help you with the menus. Sarah: Mom's a little preoccupied. Scotty: Ah. So, what's with the cool music? Sarah: Oh, Simon programmed Mom's iPod. Nora: Finally. I've been a little busy with you kids. Simon: Made a few playlists. Nora: This is "Coolest Three." Three? Two? Simon: Two. I think it's two. Sarah: Wow, you guys really have been busy. Simon, don't you have cells to divide or research or something? Simon: As matter of fact, I was in the lab first thing this morning. Sarah: Got a lot done by the sounds of it. Nora: Sarah. Sarah: What? Simon: No, no, Sarah's right. Doctors shouldn't just hang around making quiche all day. Which is why I should get ready to head back. See you. Nora: Oh, I'm gonna walk him to the door. Scotty, just put this in the oven for me. I'll be right back. Simon: See you all. Sarah: Simon. What do you think of him? Do you have good feelings? Because I definitely do not. Scotty: Why not? Sarah: Come on. I mean, what 40-year-old doctor... Scotty: He's 40? Sarah: Five at best. But it's weird, right? Not to mention he's got time in the middle of the day to make quiche and playlists. Scotty: Well, he said he was going back to the lab. Sarah: He's got my mother under some kind of spell. Like Prince Eric and the sea witch. Scotty: Oh, The Little Mermaid. God, I love that movie. I can't wait to watch that with my kid. Does that mean I want a girl? Sarah: Oh, how did you go with your sperm test? Scotty: Mine won. Sarah: Oh, yay! How's Kevin? Is he mad? Scotty: How did you guess? Although it's not like his sperm are useless. I mean, they swim. Sarah: Well, you know how competitive he is. Scotty: Okay, let's take a look at those menus. Wait, what's this? Sarah: I'm just Googling the good doctor. Scotty: Why? Sarah: Because I don't trust him. - It's all too good to be true. Scotty: I don't think he's that bad. I mean, he's really nice to your mom, right? Sarah: Bingo. Simon Craig, M.D. Malpractice? Scotty: I'm sure he's just an expert witness. Sarah: No, defendant. In both. Looks like they were both for negligence. Saul: Justin. You have come so far so fast. You remember a year and a half ago? You were living with your mother. Kevin: Oh, don't worry, he'll be back. Justin: No, it's not funny. It's my toast. Kevin: Sorry. Sorry. Saul: And now you're about to become a doctor. I can't tell you how proud that makes an uncle. You deserve all the happiness that's coming to you. You have a grand and glorious future ahead of you. Congratulations. To Justin. Kevin: To Justin. Robert: Cheers. Now, guys, come on. Nobody wants one of these? They're Cubans. Scotty: You know what? I think I'll try one. Robert: Yeah. I like it, Wandell. Kevin: Wow, one good sperm count, he thinks he's Mark Twain. Scotty: Mark Twain? Kevin: Mmm. Robert: How you doing over there, Justin? Justin: Good. Yeah. Robert: Take a good look around because I may have thrown you the gayest bachelor party ever. Saul: Ha-ha-ha. You know what they used to call gay men when I was a kid? Kevin: What? Saul: Bachelors. Scotty: g.. Saul: Uh-oh. The man needs a doctor. Justin. Justin: No, no, I'm not a doctor. Robert: No, no, no, don't put it out. It's $40. Scotty: I'm sorry, I can't. Kevin: I knew it. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. Scotty: Oh. Speaking of doctors, did you hear what Sarah found out about Simon? Kevin: This should be interesting. Scotty: Apparently, he has two pretty major malpractice lawsuits against him. Kevin: Scotty, every doctor has a malpractice suit against him. That's that's nothing. That's Sarah being a baby. Saul: Speacking of which, have you and Rebecca thought about when you wanna start a family? Justin: Oh, no, no, no. Robert: What kind of conversation is this? This is a bachelor party, not The View. Kevin: What's wrong with The View? Saul: I like The View, it's one of the best shows on TV. Robert: I can't believe you guys. Can we please change the subject? Saul: What? Kevin: Wait, what's that? Justin: What's what? Kevin: What's in your glass? Justin: What do you mean, what's in my glass? Kevin: This is champagne. Justin: So what? Kevin: So what? You're a recovering addict. Justin: Yeah, an addict, not an alcoholic, Kevin. I'm not addicted to champagne. Kevin: Oh, please. There's a difference? Justin: Come on, it's just a glass of champagne. Relax. Kevin: I know. You're not allowed this. Justin: It's my bachelor party, I can have a glass of champagne. Kevin: No, I'm sorry. You can't. Not in front of me. Justin: Are you serious? Kevin: I'm serious. Robert: Guys, sit down. Kevin: What is wrong with you? Justin: You have no idea what's the matter with me right now. Scotty: Do you think he's been drinking for a while? Saul: No, I think we would know if he was. Kevin: Yeah, hiding it was never his forte. Scotty: Talk about cold feet. Kevin: Frost-bitten. Robert: No, that poor kid. He's gonna be dealing with more than you can imagine. Kevin: Well, I don't find marriage that rough. Do you? Robert: I'm not talking about marriage. Saul: Robert, what are you talking about? Kevin: Do you know something? Robert: All right. Look. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I'm really worried about him. And you're gonna find out anyway, I just... I think you should be prepared. Kevin: Oh, there... Nora & Sarah: What? Kevin: I just wanted to let you know we're here. Sarah: What happened to your big boys' night out? Kevin: Ugh. Wine first. Nora: Uh, did Justin find out anything? Kevin: No, but we all did. Sarah: What? Justin: You... you all know, don't you? Holly: Know what? Justin: Your daughter is pregnant. Holly: What? Sarah: What are you doing here in the middle of the day? Everybody needs to stop worrying about my broken heart. I'm working. I'm fine. Kevin: Yeah, that's not why I'm here. Sarah: If you're here to talk about last night's insanity, don't. Oh, by the way, I'm glad Scotty's sperm's better than yours. Us Walker's need to stop reproducing. Kevin: Yeah, well, I'm actually here to talk about Mom. Sarah: You know, I think she's in love. Kevin: I know. That's what I'm afraid of. Sarah: Oh, Scotty told you about the malpractice suits? Don't worry about it. They were both thrown out before they went to court. And Mom knew about them anyway. Kevin: Yeah, well, I did some Googling myself. Did you notice the dates of when those lawsuits were thrown out? It was around the same time he stopped seeing patients and started research. Sarah: Well, what are you saying? Kevin: I'm saying I think he got his license yanked. Sarah: Oh, no, Kevin. Kevin: Sarah, your intuition about this kind of stuff is always dead-on. So, what if you're right about this guy? Sarah: It's like a bad song I just got out of my head and you just pressed play. Kevin: Sorry.

Season 4 Episode 8 - music

The Wine Festival First Aired: 15/Nov/2009

"Say I Am You" (2006)

"Painting By Chagall" by The Weepies Kevin tells Nora about the prospective egg donors. Lyrics: Thunder rumbles in the distance, a quiet intensity I am willful, your insistence is tugging at the best of me You're the moon, I'm the water You're Mars, calling up Neptune's daughter Sometimes rain that's needed falls We float like two lovers in a painting by Chagall All around is sky and blue town Holding these flowers for a wedding gown We live so high above the ground, satellites surround us. I am humbled in this city There seems to be an endless sea of people like us Wakeful dreamers, I pass them on the sunlit streets In our rooms filled with laughter We make hope from every small disaster Sometimes rain that's needed falls We float like two lovers in a painting by Chagall All around is sky and blue town Holding these flowers for a wedding gown We live so high above the ground, satellites surround us. Everybody says "you can't, you can't, you can't, don't try." Still everybody says that if they had the chance they'd fly like we do. Sometimes rain that's needed falls We float like two lovers in a painting by Chagall All around is sky and blue town Holding these flowers for a wedding gown We live so high above the ground, satellites surround us. Satellites surround us. Sometimes rain that's needed falls Hmmmmm (Everybody says "you can't, you can't, you can't...")

Season 4 Episode 8

The Wine Festival First Aired: 15/Nov/2009

<< S4E7 S4E9 >>

Scotty: I can't believe we're picking the mother of our child online. I've never even hooked up with anyone online. Kevin: Really? No, me neither. Scotty: Hmmm. Kevin: Once. Scotty: Right. Okay, ready to meet her? Kevin: Ready. Three, two, one. Scotty: Oh, my God. Kevin: Oh, wow. There's so many. Scotty: Hundred and thirty-eight women vying for our sperm. Kevin: They're gonna be menopausal by the time we get through them. Oh, look, we can whittle it down by checking some of those boxes. Try ethnicity. Scotty: Oh, I thought we didn't care. Kevin: We don't. Uh, eye color? Blue. Scotty: Wait, you just said you didn't care about ethnicity. Kevin: Good point. Scotty: But if you feel passionately about... Kevin: No, no... I just thought we would, you know... It doesn't matter. Let's do height. It's well-documented that tall people have an easier time of it in life. Scotty: Great, 5'5" or taller. Here we go. Kevin: Wow. One hundred and seven. That's all right. We'll get through it. Scotty: How? Kevin: By going through each and every one of them. Scotty: Yeah, but what exactly are we looking for? I'm sure they all have their pros or cons. Kevin: The best one, Scotty. Scotty: Right. Scotty: What do we do with Diane? Five-foot-seven, 116 pounds, mixed race. Kevin: Oh, put her on the short list. Scotty: She's 5'7". Kevin: No, not short in height. Like, you know, top five. Top ten. Scotty: I, I, I know what you meant. Kevin: Could you pass the mint chip, please? Scotty: Uh... We finished it. Okay, we need to stop eating. We need to get out of this apartment. Kevin: We can't. We have another 76 to go. Oh, whoa, whoa, wait, look. Diane's never been on a team before. Scotty: So? Kevin: So, what if she's a genius with social issues? What good is it being the smartest kid on the playground if you have no friends? What are you doing? Scotty: I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I mean, this is weird. Most couples, they just do it and they get what they get. Kevin: Yeah, after marrying someone they've considered carefully. Scotty: You know what? In different circumstances, I would happily marry any one of these women. Kevin: I'm just trying to give our kid the most advantages possible. Scotty: Is this what it's gonna be like? Kevin: What? Scotty: When we have a child? When is good gonna be good enough? Kevin: Aww. Scotty: How many hours are you gonna make them practice piano? Do their multiplication tables? Kevin: What about you? They're gonna have a hard time writing their college essay. Are you just gonna say, "Oh, forget it. It's too hard. Let it go"? Scotty: Yeah, I'm getting some fresh air. Kevin: That's my point! You just walk away! Oh, can you at least bring back some mint chocolate chip? ♪ Painting By Chagall ♪ by The Weepies ♪ Listen Kevin: Oh, Mom. Nora: Yeah. Hi. Kevin: So, ahem, Scotty and I? We've narrowed our egg choices to a top 20. All of which are unbelievably strong contenders. Nora: Wait, you make it sound like a reality show. Kevin: Yeah, I don't wanna trivialize it or make a mistake. And Scotty seems to have washed his hands of the whole thing. So I would like you to meet Kimberly. Kimberly: Hi, I'm Kimberly. Kevin&Kimberly:I like to travel and exercise. Kevin: "I like to travel and exercise." Cute, right? Nora: Yeah. Kevin: "I'm very driven. And in the next five years, I hope to complete my JD-MBA, after which I'd like to open my own storefront legal-aid clinic." Nora: You've memorized her? Kevin: I've memorized all of them. My only problem with Kimberly is her grandfather had a stroke when he was 40. But she is 21, so strong selling point. Nora: You know, some people think women are like wine. They get better with age. Kevin: Not the fertility clinics. They tell you not to even consider anyone over 25. Nora: All right. I know that. Look, Kevin, I just don't feel like I wanna make an important decision like this over wine. Kevin: Why not? It's never stopped our family before. Nora: You know, get yourself a glass, Kevin. You look naked. Kevin: All right, now that you're officially the greatest judge in the world, take a look at these. Tell us which one should be our donor. Saul: Who am I looking at? Kevin: Caitlin. Strong grades, but more of an athlete. Runs marathons. Wins marathons. Probably not going to give us Einstein, but more of a socialized, popular kid. Saul: Health okay? Kevin: Absolutely. They're don't make it on the list unless it's okay. Saul: Look, Kevin, I know there's a lot of pressure on you guys. I certainly understand as well as anyone that there was a day in your life when it hit you that you would probably never raise a family. Right? Kevin: Right. Saul: And now you're both gonna be dads. And you want it to be right. You want it to be perfect. Kevin: Well, close would be fine. Saul: Yes. You know that wine of ours that just won? Kevin: Of course. Saul: It shouldn't have been that good. Those grapes were nothing special. But it is fantastic. And that's what I love so much about making wine. The surprise. When you get much more than you put in. They tell me that parenting is very much like that. Seeing your child turn into something that you would never have predicted. And now if you'll excuse me, I am going to taste a Cabernet Sauvignon that I hear great things about. Scotty: What are you doing? Kevin: I'm sorry! Look, I'm sorry. I... Look, I put all the finalists up. I thought maybe we could throw darts at them. Scotty: I don't think throwing darts at women's faces is a good idea. Kevin: You were right. You're absolutely right. Any one of them would be great, so please pick a dart. Scotty: Wait, is this a joke or does your OCD actually run on some sort of fuel that you're out of? Kevin: No, I just realized the way I've been approaching this. It's as if Caitlin here wins marathons because she has long legs, where it's really at mile when everyone else is dropping, she digs deeper because someone in her life taught her never to give up. Set an example. Made her that way. Caitlin, any of those girls, they'll give us a healthy baby. Who that child turns out to be is up to us. That's what I'm excited about. Because I can't wait to see the result of us being dads. Scotty: Me neither. Kevin: On three. Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: One, two, three. Scotty: Maybe we should roll dice. Kevin: Yeah.

Season 4 Episode 7

The Wig Party First Aired: 08/Nov/2009

<< S4E6 S4E8 >>

Scotty: They cut our line of credit in half? Why? Kevin: Because everything else in the neighborhood is selling for less, so our place is less valuable. Scotty: God, I hate banks. All they care about is money. How much did they leave us? Kevin: Ah.. Fifty thousand, which is not enough to pay for this baby. Just getting Michelle approved as our surrogate, and the screening alone was close to 5 grand. Scotty: Well, fine. I will... I'll cater more. Kevin: Cater? We're talking 50,000. Scotty: Well, I'll cater a lot if I have to. Kevin: Well, what am I supposed to do, steal campaign contributions? Scotty: It'd be money better spent. Kevin: If you think Robert's bad, wait till you see this nut job Barry Henderson who's entering the primary today. He'd cut our line of credit just for being gay. Scotty: What are we supposed to do? We've come this far. I don't wanna give up. Kevin: I will talk to another bank, and I will get us this loan, I promise. Gotta run. My phone's been buzzing all morning because of this Henderson dude. Scotty: Did you just say "dude"? Kevin: Oh, yeah. Sorry. Call the police! There's an insane man outside! Scotty: No, Kevin, that's Kluv the Crusader. Kevin: Who? Scotty: It's my father wearing his Kluv the Crusader costume. Kevin: Kluv? Scotty: From planet Kluvon. Just let him in. Kevin: Hi, Wally. Wally: Hi, Kevin. Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Scotty: Hi, Dad. Hey. Wally: Hi, son. Scotty: Hey, I see the costume still fits. Wally: There's a comic convention in town, so I thought I'd get it out of the mothballs and go. It was kind of a last-minute thing. Scotty: Where's mom? Wally: Uh, she didn't wanna come. Scotty: Oh, yeah, well, she never loved Kluv the way we did. Wally: No, she didn't, but, uh... Scotty, your mother left me. Wally: This is some kind of place, chef. You've come a long way. Scotty: Well, you knew me when I was sleeping in my car. Wally: I knew you when you were sleeping in your crib. Scotty: Dad, I'm really sorry about Mom. Wally: I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I must've looked like such an idiot in that outfit. Scotty: Oh, stop it. You looked awesome. Wally: I brought my entire collection: All the old Daredevil comics, The Avengers, Captain America, The Amazing Spider-Man. I think I might sell them, under the circumstances. Scotty: Dad, tell me what happened. Wally: It's complicated, Scotty. Scotty: This wasn't about me being gay, was it? Wally: No. No. Scotty: Well, I know Mom can be very stubborn sometimes. Wally: Look, we just started drifting apart, that's all. Sometimes these things can be a chance for people to start over. Scotty: Actually, I am... I have some pretty important news to tell you about myself. Wally: Kevin's pregnant, right? Scotty: No, um, but... Actually, it's kind of crazy you should say that. Umm.. We're trying to have a baby. Wally: How are you? Scotty: Well, we're gonna go with a surrogate. That is, if we can afford one. It costs a fortune. Wally: Wait a minute. Which of you is gonna? I mean, whose? Scotty: Sperm are we going to use? Wally: Yeah. Scotty: Dad, it isn't a competition. Wally: I know. Can't a grandfather dream? Scotty: Yes, he can. Scotty: It's really great. You know, I feel like I'm getting to know my dad all over again. Without my mom, he's allowed to have an actual personality. Kevin: Well, that is great. Oh, he's over there. Scotty: Oh, where? Kevin: With that attractive lady. Scotty: What's that supposed to mean? He's friendly. He'll talk to anyone, even strangers. Kevin: Pfft. I don't think they're strangers. Oh, my God, he's sleeping with her. Scotty: You're cut off. Kevin: I haven't started drinking yet. Scotty: Kevin. Kevin: Come on, look at the way she's tilting her head as he talks to her. Look at the way he's staring at her. Scotty: You're nuts, you know that? Kevin: I'm... Uh-oh. Scotty: Hey. Kevin: Busted. Scotty: Kevin, Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: Come on. Kevin: What? My father was a philanderer. When I look back, the only things I realize are the clues I missed. Scotty: We're talking about my father, not yours. He doesn't have it in him, trust me. Kevin: I'm not so sure about that. Hi. Wally: Hey. Are you guys early? Kevin: Yeah. There was no traffic. So here we are. Wally: Ready for dinner? Scotty: Yeah. I made a reservation at a great steak place. I know the chef. Wally: It's gonna be my treat. Kevin: Oh, my God. Scotty: What? Kevin: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, I have to leave. I'm so sorry. Robert's meltdown was caught on camera. Now it's on YouTube. I'm really sorry. Scotty: No, no, it's fine. You go. Kevin: Wally, forgive me. I'll see you later? Wally: Yeah. Kevin: Great. I'm so sorry. Scotty: Bye. Wally: Does he always rush off like that? Scotty: Yeah. Wally: Let's get a drink. Wally: I was thinking of wearing my Kluv the Crusader outfit tomorrow, but it's really just a ratty old Halloween costume compared to what kids wear these days. Scotty: It's a convention. It doesn't matter what you look like. Wally: We should go. I'm hungry. Scotty: Yeah. Wally: Oh, damn. I forgot my wallet in the room. Scotty: Oh, I'll come with you. Wally: No, it's all right. Wait here. I'll be right back. Scotty: I wanna see your comic books. Wally: No, Scotty. We're gonna do that tomorrow. Scotty: Dad, what's going on? Oh! Oh, did you meet someone here? Because, I mean, that's okay. Is that the woman you were with? Wally: Her name's Moira, and I didn't meet her here. I've been seeing her for a while. I've been trying to find the right time to tell you. Scotty: I can't believe this. Wally: It's one of the reasons we came. She wanted to meet you. Scotty: But that's why Mom left, isn't it? Wally: I should've told you this sooner. Scotty: You lied to me. You let me blame Mom when you've been screwing around with another woman? Wally: I'm sorry, Scotty, but it's not like l... Scotty: But what? Wally: Can we just talk about this, please? Scotty: I have nothing to say to you. Enjoy the rest of your trip. Kevin: Come on. Let's go for a walk. You've been lying on this couch all morning. Scotty: Do you know what's weird? I don't even care that he had an affair. I mean, he was never happy with my mom. Kevin: So, what's going on? Scotty: All my life, I kept wishing he would stand up to her. I mean, even when he was on my side, he would never let her know. Kevin: She's a pretty tough cookie, your mom. Scotty: I just... I wish he could've learned to take care of himself sooner, you know? Kevin: My father took care of himself every chance he got. It didn't make things better. And there's no way he would've told the truth last night. He would've lied and lied, and you wouldn't have known the difference. At least you can make peace with him while he's still alive. I never had that chance. Scotty: Oh, God, that's him. That's gotta be him. Kevin: Oh, hi. Thanks. It's for you. What is it? Scotty: It's his Captain America comic book from the '40s. Kevin: What does the note say? Scotty: "Scotty, here's something to help you guys... Here's something to help you guys pay for the baby. Call me when you're ready. I love you. Dad." Kevin: How much is it worth? Scotty: This is worth a lot, Kevin. This is worth a lot.

Season 4 Episode 6 - music

Zen & The Art Of Making Mole First Aired: 01/Nov/2009

"Dryland" (2006)

"Swann Song" by Chris Pureka Kevin & Scotty talk about Tommy's divorce and surrogate contract in bed. Lyrics: Yeah, I could tell you lots of things. I grew up on the bay. I used to race my sisters up the fence-side to Mr. Medley's place. Papa ran the general store and mama did everything and the waves and the waves and the sea. Time brought me here like a fishing boat at the whim of the Atlantic breeze. It was a good life, yeah it was a good life, I'd do it all again. I joined the Navy Nurses Corp., it was 1941 and I met my sailor in that fated harbor in the days before the bombs came... Hail Mary, I made it home, 'til I was laughing as my ship went down, singing and bailing water right back to the shores of San Francisco town. It was a good life, yeah it was a good life, I'd do it all again. I was hitched out in Reno, I stayed at home and he went out to sweep the mines. I'll never forget the day we heard it on the radio, it was the end of the war... and we laughed and cried and cheered and laughed again... yeah we cried and cheered like it would be the last one. Yeah sure, yeah sure I've wished for things, I wish I had been there the day that Nancy drowned. I wish I hadn't seen them build a highway, a highway right through my backyard. But you just learn to love the little things, I've lived long enough to know. And I'm still waving from this front porch and this is still my swan song. It was a good life, it was a good life, I'd do it all again, I'd do it all again...

Season 4 Episode 6 - music

Zen & The Art Of Making Mole First Aired: 01/Nov/2009

"Travelling Like the Light" (2009)

"L.O.V.E." by VV Brown Kevin & Scotty talk with Michelle about having a baby. Lyrics: You best believe I'm in love baby! She's got that demon eyes Wants a little something from that special guy It's there right in her eyes Though she's not pretending she could tell no lies She's hiding like a spy, Hoping he would take her body to the sky Love makes her start to fly, She feels a little sweeter like an apple pie She's got that crazy side Wants to open up so he can realise That she is paralysed By the divas hangin' over compromise Oh, love me, Ah, Ah, Ah. Just love me, Oh, Oh, Oh. Just hold me, Ah, Ah, Oh. Just kiss me, Ah, Ah, Oh. Just want me, L.O.V.E. Love, love, love, love! Don't try to runaway, Cuz you know that it would get you down someday Those secrets in your life Fallin' for your love will never be the same Can't speak or play the game, You were so distracted you forgot your name You stutter by his face Or maybe her reflection on the windowframe What's this you want to say? How you wish that you could tell them either way But then you start to flower Open up and tell them it's the final hour Oh, love me, Ah, Ah, Ah. Just love me, Oh, Oh, Oh. Just hold me, Ah, Ah, Oh. Just kiss me, Ah, Ah, Oh. Just want me, L.O.V.E. Love, love, love, love! (x2) How you just fell in love Fell a little harder than you thought you would How deep is bitter love Gotta let it out because you've had enough How it is crazy tough Heart beats a little faster when you're feeling touched This situation's rough I'm standing in the rain and I'm beaten up Put up your blue umbrella Have a little courage to tell him, tell her But it is now or never Forget about the rain and all the crazy weather Oh, love me, Ah, Ah, Ah. Just love me, Oh, Oh, Oh. Just hold me, Ah, Ah, Oh. Just kiss me, Ah, Ah, Oh. Just want me, L.O.V.E. Love, love, love, love! (x2)

Season 4 Episode 6

Zen & the Art of Mole Making First Aired: 01/Nov/2009

<< S4E5 S4E7 >>

♪ L.O.V.E. ♪ by VV Brown ♪ Listen Michelle: I can't believe they make you fill out this much paperwork for an ultrasound. Scotty: Oh, my god... Ultrasound. Wasn't that the name of a club we used to go to? Michelle: No, it was Megawatt. Scotty: Oh. Michelle: Remember how cheap the drinks were? Man, I used to get so wasted. Kevin: Um, Michelle, I hope you're gonna be okay not partying like a rock star for the next nine months. Michelle: Oh, yeah, yeah. I can totally use a break from all that stuff. Kevin: Can you define "stuff"? Scotty: Kevin. Kevin: What? I think it's a reasonable question. Michelle: I can't remember if my grandmother died of a stroke or a heart attack. Kevin: You have history of a stroke and... or a heart disease in your family? Scotty: All right, Kevin. That's enough. Michelle: Maybe you should take Kevin to Megawatt. It looks like someone could use a drink. Kevin: I'm glad you find our future baby's potential heart disease so funny. Scotty: Michelle's the surrogate, not the egg donor. Her DNA isn't involved. Michelle: Looks like that pretty much covers it. Scotty: Yay. Michelle: Time to get my oven checked. Scotty: All right, promise to call me as soon as you're done. Michelle: I will. Bye. Kevin: Bye. Scotty: All right. Mwah. Michelle: Oh! Scotty: Break an egg. What is wrong with you? Kevin: Look, I'm sorry. I know she's your friend. I don't think we should be cavalier about this. Scotty: No one's being cavalier. And she's not just a friend. She's a very close friend. You know, one of the benefits of going through this process with a very close friend is it doesn't have to be cold and impersonal. Please stop worrying. Kevin: Okay. Okay. What time does Megawatt open? Nora: He looks skinny, Kevin. God, Tommy, don't they feed you down there? Kevin: Who goes to Mexico and comes back looking skinny? Tommy: I'm not skinny, mom. Nora: It must be all that yoga. Kevin: Remember the summer I spent in Oaxaca? I came back looking like I'd eaten an entire Backstreet Boys. Scotty: Oh, I hope it wasn't Nick Carter. He's my favorite. Kevin: Tommy's back. Scotty: Shut up. Kevin: Yeah. Nora: Did you hear that? Saul: I'm wearing two different color socks today. Kevin: Uh, mom, did you tell him about our surrogacy? Nora: Well, no, I think you should tell him that. Kevin: Okay, let me talk to him. Saul: Can he stop by later? Sarah: Uh, Saul wants to know if Tommy can stop by later. Kitty: Uh, Saul wants to know if you could stop by Ojai. Saul: Maybe he can help us get out of this crazy wine scheme of Holly's. Tell him. Kitty: You know what? This is exhausting. And I have to take Evan to the doctor. Sarah: Can you just talk to Saul? Nora: Here. Kevin wants to talk to you. Tommy: This would be a lot easier in person. Scotty: So... How is he? Kevin: Good. Great. Mom's beyond thrilled. Scotty: What about you? Is there any residual weirdness? Kevin: Actually, it's okay. I hate to admit it, but I think the Hippie Hacienda was exactly what Tommy needed. Michelle: I am the womb master. Scotty: Clean bill of health? Michelle: Straight A's for the first time in my life. Kevin: Oh! God. Scotty: Oh, my god. This is amazing. Kevin: Yeah, it's great. Scotty: So now all we have to do is find an egg donor and... Michelle: And get me knocked up. Kevin: Well, before we get you knocked up, maybe we should take a look at the paperwork. Scotty: What paperwork? Michelle: Paperwork? Kevin: Yeah, I had a contract drawn up. It... it just outlines both parties' responsibilities and obligations. Scotty: Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? Kevin: Because I only just got it. It's pretty standard. Michelle: I have gone from being your friend Michelle to being a "gestational carrier"? Scotty: No, no, you're still our friend Michelle. Kevin's just being annoyingly lawyer-ish. Michelle: "Travel restrictions." Does this mean that I can't visit my family on Christmas? Scotty: No, of course you can visit your family at Christmas. Kevin: Well, that would have to be determined by a doctor. But some of the details in there are negotiable. Michelle, please, don't take this personally. Okay? We just have to protect ourselves. Michelle: From me? You have to protect yourself from me? Scotty: No, he doesn't mean that. Kevin: No, it also protects you. Think of it this way... what if, um, you had the baby, and we decided not to pay? Scotty: We would never do anything like that, Kevin. Neither would Michelle. I've known her longer than I've known you. Kevin: Even so, we would be crazy to enter into this without a contractual agreement. Scotty: I thought we wanted to avoid all the cold and impersonal parts. Michelle: Um, obviously, you guys have some talking to do. Scotty: No, Michelle. Michelle: I'm... I'm sorry, Scotty, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Scotty: Michelle, we... Michelle: I'll talk to you later. Scotty: This is your way of protecting us, a contract? Kevin: I'm sorry, if she's not mature enough to see the need for a contract, she is not mature enough to carry our baby. Sarah: Sorry, everybody. Did we start? Saul: Ooh, la la, mademoiselle! Ooh, la la! Sarah: Shh. Kitty: Nice of you to join us, Sarah. Oui, oui! Oui, oui! Sarah: All right, attention. In honor of Tommy's return, I have poured a gorgeous white burgundy. Tommy, I know you prefer californian wines, but this is really marvelous. I brought a case. Rebecca: Ooh, Saul's in the mood to party. Saul: No, no, I can't party. I have to go back to Ojai. One or two glasses. Justin: Bummer. Saul: Yes, Justin, truer words were never spoken. A little more articulate, maybe. But truer? No. Kitty: Okay, I think that a toast is in order. Kevin: Absolutely. Sarah: Yes, definitely. Kitty: Mom, would you like to say something? Nora: No. Someone else go. That's okay. Saul: Aw. Kitty: Um... O-okay. Okay. Well, uh, here's to Tommy. Kitty: We are very, very happy you're home. Kevin: I whole heartedly concur. Scotty: Oh, let the record show counsel whole heartedly concurs. Kevin: Would you please give it a rest? Scotty: Mm. Saul: So, Nora, how about the mole? Is it up to snuff? Nora: It's fabulous. Very well done, Tommy. Kitty: Very good. Tommy: Thanks, Mom. So, uh, Scotty, I hear, uh, you guys are gonna be parents. That's exciting. Scotty: Um, actually, it looks like things might've fallen apart in litigation. Sarah: Oh, no! Really? Kevin: Oh, for crying out loud. It was just a contract, okay? We signed one when they had Elizabeth, and we're brothers. Okay? I was just trying to protect our family. It's what being a good parent's all about, right, Tommy? Tommy: Yeah. Nora: That's what a good parent does. Saul: Nora? Nora: Yes? Saul: Are you okay? You've been very quiet tonight. Nora: No, I'm fine. I'm fine. Totally fine. I... I just don't want to butt in where's it's none of my business. Sarah: Uh, what are you talking about, Mom? Nora: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's Tommy's life. Let him clean up his own damn room. Kitty: Mm. All right. Tell us what she's talking about. Kevin: Yeah. Tommy: Thanks, Mom. Uh, Julia and I are getting divorced. Sarah: Oh, god, I'm sorry. Justin: What? Sarah: I... I thought maybe... Nora: Go ahead. You might as well tell them the rest. Tommy: No, no. Hey, you brought it up. Nora: I did not. Okay, fine, fine. He has not seen or talked to his daughter in months. And Julia does not want him in Elizabeth's life anymore. Sarah: Okay, Mom, could you just... Saul: Tommy... Rebecca: Paige, Cooper, you wanna go in the living room maybe? Sarah: Thank you. Cooper: But I don't want to miss the fight. Scotty: Oh, uh, come on, kiddo. We'll go play some video games. ♪ Swann Song ♪ by Chris Pureka ♪ Listen Scotty: How are you? Kevin: I need this shoulder. Scotty: It's hard to believe... ten years of marriage, and this is what it comes to... Julia forbidding Tommy to talk to his daughter. Kevin: It's pretty bad. It's very bad. Scotty: Kevin, I'm so sorry I gave you a hard time about the contract. Kevin: I shouldn't have sprung it on her like that. Scotty: True. But you were right. The law barely recognizes us as a family. You were right to want to protect us. Kevin: Thank you. But I didn't want to mess things up with Michelle. That's the last thing I wanted. Scotty: I know you didn't. But I suppose we should make an appointment with the agency, start looking for another surrogate. Kevin: Are you okay with that? Scotty: I mean, I'm a little disappointed. I thought Michelle was the one, you know? Kevin: I know. ♪ Hold You Tight ♪ by Lisbeth Scott Michelle: You suing me for breach of verbal contract or something? Kevin: Good one. Michelle: I get it, Kevin. You don't like me. You think I'm a flake. Whatever. Kevin: I... I don't think you're a flake. Michelle: Oh, come on. You think I don't hear all those smart-ass remarks you make about me, about the way that I live? Kevin: I'm... I'm a smart-ass. I'll admit that. But I... I am sorry if you think I don't like you, because I do. Michelle: You just don't trust me then? Kevin: No, no. I... no, I don't trust anyone. It's just a santa claus thing from way back. Michelle: Kevin, why are you here? Kevin: To beg. May I? To see if there is any way you would still be willing... Scotty and I would both love for you to be our surrogate. Michelle, my... my brother has a daughter... Elizabeth... A beautiful little girl who means a lot to me... A whole lot. And right now, He and his wife are going through a divorce. And she won't let him see Elizabeth. And he was an ass. He behaved appallingly. And she's hurt and angry And fighting back the only way she knows how. But at the center of it all is a little girl who's not allowed to see her dad. Look, I know a contract is no guarantee. So I hope you can understand, I feel so helpless and so out of control in this situation, I need a signature on a dotted line. Because the thought of losing my child... It's... It's too much for me. Michelle: Kevin, I can't even read it, with all the stipulations and... and the parties of the blah, blah, blah. Kevin: Okay, here's what we're gonna do... I'm gonna get you an attorney. I will pay for the best family lawyer in Los Angeles. He will be your advocate, there just for you, and he will explain every clause and every stipulation, And if anything... Anything... doesn't sit right, We will fix it. I promise. Scotty: Okay. But I am totally going home for Christmas. Kevin: I will totally drive you myself. Scotty: I'm preggers!