Episode 6: Kevin tries to take Scotty back Kevin: I never get like this, OK? I never lose control over anyone. Scotty: I'm supposed to be flattered? Kevin: Yes. So could you please forgive me so I can stop getting drunk? I promise, I'll never offer to pay for anything ever again. Not a dinner or a movie or not even a parking meter. Scotty: OK. Enough. I forgive you. Kevin: Really?
Episode 8: Kevin talks to Scotty on the phone Kevin: ... Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I think you're amazing and funny and cute as hell and I just hope that someday, maybe I don't know, three Martian years from now 'cause our years are longer than yours, maybe I could be worthy of your human love and respect, whether we're together or not.
Season 2
Episode 11: After dinner with Jason Kevin: What do you want me to do, Scotty? Scotty: Be honest with me. If you're still in love with Jason McCallister... Kevin: No, I am not in love with Jason McCallister! Why do you have to be so jealous? Scotty: Because if you could see the two of you together... Kevin: lf you don't trust me, leave! Scotty: Fine. Kevin: Oh, God. Where are you going? Scotty: I'm leaving! Kevin: Isn't that what you want? Scotty: Yeah, it is. Have a great night!
Episode 9: After Kitty's wedding, they talk. Kevin: Oh, yeah, yeah, do I look like an assassin? You can't get mad at me for being upset at a bunch of people I don't even know, acting like I'm the gay guy who doesn't know how to commit. Scotty: Then why did you stand there telling everyone we're still trying to define the word "we"? Kevin: Because you said you wanted to take things slow, Scotty. Scotty: You're not over him, Kev. At least that's what it feels like to me. Kevin: Okay, maybe I'm not over Jason completely, but I am getting there. Scotty, I wanna be with you. Scotty: Me, too. But sometimes just because you want something doesn't mean it's possible.
"Born This Way" by Lady Gaga
Nora's voice over as she watches as everyone dancing.
Lyrics:
[Intro:]
It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'cause you were Born This Way, Baby
[Verse:]
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"
[Chorus:]
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
[Post-chorus:]
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born-
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't be a drag -Just be a queen [x3]
Don't be!
[Verse:]
Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be my self, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)
[Repeat chorus + post-chorus]
[Bridge:]
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
lesbian, transgendered life,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave.
[Repeat chorus]
[Outro/refrain:]
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
"Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters " by Elton John
Sarah & Luc dance, then Sarah dances with BrodyEveryone starts dancing.
Lyrics:
And now I know
Spanish Harlem are not just pretty words to say
I thought I knew
But now I know that rose trees never grow in New York City
Until you've seen this trash can dream come true
You stand at the edge while people run you through
And I thank the Lord there's people out there like you
I thank the Lord there's people out there like you
(chorus)
While Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers
Turn around and say good morning to the night
For unless they see the sky
But they can't and that is why
They know not if it's dark outside or light
This Broadway's got
It's got a lot of songs to sing
If I knew the tunes I might join in
I'll go my way alone
Grow my own, my own seeds shall be sown in New York City
Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
And I thank the Lord for the people I have found
I thank the Lord for the people I have found
[repeat chorus]
And now I know
Spanish Harlem are not just pretty words to say
I thought I knew
But now I know that rose trees never grow in New York City
Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
And I thank the Lord for the people I have found
I thank the Lord for the people I have found
Kevin: Are you awake? Scotty? Are you awake, honey? Scotty: No. Kevin: What are you doing out here? Scotty: Mm. Daniel woke up. I had to feed him. Kevin: Oh, well, Daniel's asleep, so why don't you come back to bed? Scotty: Oh. Honey, as much as I miss sex, but I miss sleep more. Kevin: Hello. Sarah: Hi. It's me. Scotty: Were you gonna have sex with your Bluetooth on? Kevin: Yeah, I'm the wedding planner. I have to be on call. Scotty: Oh. Sarah: Please tell me everything's okay. Kevin: Yes. Have a little faith. Hold on. Someone's on the other line. Hello? Kitty: I really need to talk to you. Kevin: What, about Sarah? She's on the other line. Kitty: No, it's about me, and don't tell Sarah. Just call me back whenever you can, okay? Kevin: I am the wedding planner, but okay. Sarah. Sarah: Who was that? Kevin: Uh, the DJ. Hang on. Someone's on the other line. Sarah: K-- Kevin: Hello? Paige: It's Paige. Can you talk to my mom? She won't let me bring Andrew to the wedding. Kevin: Paige, why are you talking funny, and who's Andrew? Paige: I have a mask on, and I don't want it to crack, and he's my boyfriend. Kevin: You have a boyfriend? Scotty: Paige has a boyfriend? Kevin: Yeah, he's so cool. I'll talk to your mom. She's on the other line. Paige: Please. Kevin: Done. So Paige has this boyfriend who-- Sarah: Oh, God. If I hear one more thing about-- Kevin: Fine. It's dropped. Sarah: Good. Now please tell me, is everything set up at the hotel? Kevin: Yeah, I'm sure, but I'll check in with Justin. Sarah: Oh, is he still sleeping with that manager? Kevin: Yes. Sarah: Is she still married? Kevin: I think she's getting a divorce. Sarah: Oh, yeah. That's what they all say. Kevin: Daniel is still sleep, so why don't you come back to bed? Scotty: Kevin, no, I don't want to. Kevin: Well-- Olivia: How come you guys won't help Paige? Kevin: Uh-- Scotty: Because it's none of our business. Kevin: No. Olivia: Paige, they're not budging. Paige: Man, I can't believe this. Uh, hold on. It's Andrew on the other line. Luc: Ooh. Paige: Okay? I'll call you back. Bye. Olivia: Bye. Kevin: Hello. Saul: Yeah, hey, Kevin. It's Saul. Listen we have a little bit of a problem here, and you know what, buddy? I don't want you to panic. Kevin: What? Of course I'm panicking. You say something like that, Saul, of course I'm gonna panic. Saul: Kevin, the cake isn't here. They got the date all wrong. So what we've been doing is, uh, Jonathan and I have been up all night, uh, making cupcakes. Kevin: Cupcakes? Olivia: I love cupcakes. Saul: That's right. We're gonna make a cupcake tree. Kevin, you know what? I'm not happy about this either. Jonathan: It's very wedding chic right now. Kevin: I can't believe this. Have you spoken with Sarah? 'Cause she's gonna rip me a new one. Saul: I knew you were gonna freak, and I don't want to talk to you about this now. I have 200 cupcakes that we have to finish, and I want to tell you something, Kevin. I'm gonna call Sarah because you're a wuss. Olivia: Hey, Paige. Are you all right? Paige: Yeah, I'll be fine I'm--I'm not gonna ruin the day for mom. Kevin: Ask her if Luc is up. Olivia: Is Luc up? Paige: He's right here. It's Kevin. Luc: Oh. Hey, Kevin. Paige: Stop. Kevin: Hi, how's it going? Luc: Oh, it's going great. I have the two kids right next to me, my parents are coming, and I'm getting married. Not a bad day. Kevin: How do you feel about cupcakes? Luc: Cupcakes? Kevin: Oh! Hold on a second. Oh, that's mom calling me on the cell. Let me, uh, I'll-- I'll call you back. Hello. Nora: How's it going? Kevin: Don't ask. How is it with you? Nora: I'm fine. I'm trying to find something for Sarah to use for the old. Kevin: For the what? Nora: The old. You know, something old, something new, blah, blah, blah. And then I'm to give it to her at the church. Kevin: Have you spoken with Sarah yet? Nora: Not really. She seems to be avoiding me. Kevin, this is just... so awful. Kevin: Try not to worry. I'm sure everything will be fine. Nora: Yeah. You know, I have to go, so I-I-I'll see you at the church. Kevin: Yeah, bye. Nora: How about this beautiful old antique barrette? Sarah: Maybe I could be my own something old? Nora: How about a purse? You want a purse? I've got a purse. Kevin: Why are you talking like an auctioneer? Nora: What are you doing here? This is for women only. Kevin: Exactly. I'm just checking in. Sarah: Saul called me about the cupcakes. Kevin: Ugh. Sarah: It's--no, it's fine. It's fine. Kevin: Wow. Kitty: Oh, my gosh, Paige. You look like a super model. Kevin: Yeah. Sarah: How did I ever give birth to anything so beautiful? No, stop fussing with it. It fits fine. Paige: It doesn't fit, and even if it did, who cares? My boyfriend won't even be here to see it. Kitty: Your boyfriend? Nora: Your boyfriend? Wow. Paige: Yeah, Andrew. But since my mom's all about banning people from the wedding, he won't be coming. Kevin: Why can't Andrew come? Sarah: Because she's 14. Kitty: W-wa-wait a minute. I seem to remember a young girl who was barely 14, who was so madly in love with Davey Martinez... that she wrote a 12-verse song-- Sarah: That was a different situation. Kitty: What was it called? It was "when Kevin: " Dave's lips touched mine. " Kitty: " Dave's lips touched mine. " Paige: Oh, my God. Sing it. Sarah: No! Don't s-- Kitty & Kevin:♪ When Dave's lips touched mine♪ Sarah: Don't sing it. Kitty & Kevin:♪ I felt so fine♪ Sarah: Kitty-- Kitty & Kevin:♪ like a grape on the vine ♪ Sarah: Please, stop. Kitty & Kevin:♪ lt tickled my spine ♪ Sarah: Okay. Okay! Okay! Kitty & Kevin:♪ but it was so divine ♪ Sarah: Andrew can come to the reception. Paige: He can? Sarah: Yes. Paige: Thank you! Thank you, Aunt Kitty. I'm gonna go call him. Sarah: All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Paige. I've gotta talk to his parents. Nora: Kitty, what's the matter? Kitty: It's nothing. It's just-- Oh, God. It's crazy. It's just I remember Paige when--when she was a baby. I mean, look at her. Nora: Yes, I kn-- Okay, I just thought of something. Okay, I'll be right back. Kevin: Okay, what is going on with you? Kitty: I'm pregnant. Kevin: You're pregnant? Kitty: Shh. I just-- I don't want anybody to know. Kevin: But that's-- I-I thought you couldn't. Kitty: I know. I know. I--it happened. Kevin: That's amazing. Are--are you happy? Kitty: Yes. I'm very happy, happier every minute. It's Seth. Kevin: Well, yeah, I assumed it was Seth. Kitty: No. Seth isn't happy. Nora: Okay, I've got it. This is what she's gonna want-- Ida's compact. It's perfect.
Justin & Luc: Five, six, seven, eight. ♪ Baby, I Need Your Lovin' ♪ by The Four Tops ♪ Listen Justin & Luc:♪ Baby I need your loving ♪ Justin & Luc:♪ Got to have ♪ Justin & Luc:♪ all your love ♪ Justin: Now maybe I'll do a little solo? Like... Justin:♪ baby I need ♪ Luc: Okay. Justin: You're laughing. Why are you laughing again? Scotty: No, I'm just enjoying watching you confirm your heterosexuality. Luc: Come on Justin, you can do this. Okay, Saul and Cooper-- they learned it. Tommy got it. It's easy. Justin: Well, it's easy for you. Look at those hips. Scotty: Yeah, how did you become such a good dancer? Did Gabriela teach you? Luc: No. Uh, actually, it was all my father. His mom owned a dance studio. I just can't wait to see him in a suit, though. I hope my mom doesn't ruin the whole thing for him. Scotty: She's not gonna ruin your wedding. Luc: Why not? She ruined her own marriage. He loved her. She cheated on him. Justin: Okay, there was probably other reasons why it didn't work, like, you know, maybe they weren't meant to be together. Right? Luc: Well, they were married, and she kept cheating on him. That's why it didn't work out. Scotty: So apropos of nothing, how's Tyler? Justin: She's getting a divorce, all right? And she's been separated for, like, ever, and--. Maybe that's your parents. Luc: Yeah. It's been 20 years I didn't see them together. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, wow. Wow. Wow. Justin: I don't understand this. So you put your left foot in front, and then you turn? Luc: Hi. Gabriela: Oh, darling. Oh. How are you? Luc: Ca va? Gabriela: Hi. Scotty: Hi. Gabriela: Hi, guys. Nice to see you, Justin. Justin: Hey. Luc: O est papa? Gabriela: He couldn't make it. Luc: What? Gabriela: He got so swamped with his business. He tried to get away, but he just couldn't. But he sends his love. And he's really, really sorry. Luc: What about you, mom? Are you sorry? Saul: Time? Jonathan: Uh, about ten minutes since the last time you asked me. You know, it might speed things up if you didn't try to make each cupcake into a personal work of art. Saul: Jonathan, I have to replace a stunning, 3-tier wedding cake with--with these snacks. The least we can do is make each one of these - look as lovely as possible. Jonathan: Everybody loves cupcakes. They'll be the hit of the event. Besides, a romantic commitment between two people isn't about a wedding cake or even a marriage. Saul: It's symbolism, Jonathan, and when two people make a romantic commitment to each other, there's got to be something that they can show to the world. Jonathan: Isn't it enough for two people to say "I love you"? Saul: You just don't get it, do you? Jonathan: Well, what's that supposed to mean? Saul: Nothing. Jonathan: Oh, come on, Saul. You're not insinuating that we should be getting married. Saul: I'm not insinuating anything, so let's just get this packed up. And please be caful with the frosting. Come on. Luc: Sarah. Kevin: No, no, no, no! You can't see her. You can't see her. Luc: Kevin, I need to talk to Sarah. Kevin: No. Luc: It's important. Sarah: Kevin. Kevin: Okay, just talk. Sarah: Okay. What is it, honey? Is everything okay? Luc: My father is not coming. Sarah: Oh, no. Why not? Luc: I don't know. My mom gave me some lame excuses about how overwhelmed he is with work. I know she did something-- Lied to him, told him not to come. Sarah: It's ironic, isn't it? Here you are, heartbroken that your dad's not here, and mine would be here in a shot if he could. Luc: You're listening to your heart. - I'm proud of you for that. Sarah: Oh, honey, I'm proud of-- Kevin: Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys, I'm so sorry. We're really tight on time. Sarah: Wh--
Kevin: Hey. Seth: Hey, hey. Are we the first ones? Kevin: Yes, you are, and I love a man who's on time. Where's Kitty? Seth: Oh, she's, uh, she's bringing your mom. Kevin: Look at you, buddy. Don't you look spiffy? Seth: He also looks like someone who needs to go to the bathroom? Kevin: Oh, okay. It's, uh, it's right down the hall. Seth: Okay. Kevin: Um, Kitty told me your news. Seth: She did? Kevin: Yeah, and I think it's great. Seth: Uh-huh. Um, uh, let's--let's, uh, let's talk about this later. Kevin: Believe me. I-I wasn't sure if I could handle being a father either. Once it happens, it's magic. And you're probably thinking, is now the right time, but is there ever really a right time? Evan: I gotta go! Seth: Uh... all right. All right. Let's--let's go. Sarah: Mom, you've gotta go very gently with the zipper. Nora: All right. I will. I will. Sarah: Oh, my God, where is my something blue? Nora: Your what? Sarah: My something blue, a handkerchief of dad's. Nora: Yes, I know what it is. Hold on. Sarah: Saul got them from the dry cleaners after--after--after he died, and I haven't seen it all morning. Kitty: Sarah, Sarah, shallow breathing sends less oxygen to the brain. Sarah: Kitty? Kitty: Sorry. Sorry. I'm just not feeling so good at the moment. Kevin: Okay, five minutes, ladies. Sarah: Mom. You--you don't look very good. Nora: None of us look good. It's a wedding. Sarah: No, mom-- Nora: Our nerves are all frayed, except you sweetheart. You look lovely. Kitty: It's nerves. M-mom's right. I'm gonna go find a ladies room. Sarah: Kevin. Kevin: Don't panic. She'll be fine. I'm just gonna go check on Luc. Sarah: Okay, mom! Just-- Nora: What? Cooper: Are you sad that your dad didn't come? Luc: As long as I have my best man, I'll be fine. Cooper: I'm there for ya. Kevin: How are you guys doing in here? Ready. Good. Uh, do you have the rings? Cooper: Uh-oh. Oh. Kevin: Don't-- Cooper: Uh-oh. Shoot. Kevin: This isn't fun-- don't--don't--don't do-- don't--no--ugh. Cooper: I gotcha. Kevin: It's not funny. You'll give me a heart attack one day, and I'll die. Live with that. Gabriela: Excuse me. Luc: What do you want? Gabriela: Oh, I almost forgot about this. They are your father's cuff links. I thought you might like to have 'em. Luc: Yeah. Gabriela: You nervous? You know, it's not that bad. Once you're up there with everybody-- Luc: Okay, I'll be fine, mom. You should go sit down. It's about to start. Gabriela: Okay.
Kitty: Oh. Ooh. Oh, dear. Lori Lynn: Oh, sweetie, are you okay? Kitty: Yeah, thank you. I'm fine. I'm... just a little, uh-- Lori Lynn: Hung over? Ugh. Been there slash am there. Kitty: Uh, no. Lori Lynn: Oh, is it the flu? Should I keep my dtance? Kitty: No, it's not the flu. Lori Lynn: Oh, preggers. Duh. Oh, babe. I'm so sorry. I've been there, too. It's the worst. But congrats. Paige: Aunt Kitty, you're pregnant? Kitty: No, Paige. No, no. I'm--I-I... What on earth are you doing in the stall? Paige: Uh, I-I-I was just... trying to make my dress work. Lori Lynn: I'm just gonna leave you girls to it. Sarah: Oh, excuse me. Have you seen my sister? Is she in there? We really need to talk to her. Lori Lynn: Oh, I don't know. Is she the pregnant girl? Sarah: The pregnant g-- What? Pregnant? Wait, who's pregnant? Kevin: Uh-- Paige: Good luck, mom. Sarah: Oh, God. Kevin: No. Kitty: Oh. Sarah: What did Paige just say? Did you hear her say anything? Kitty: Nothing. Sh-sh-- What are you talking about? You look beautiful. I'll see you out there, okay? Kevin: I promise you, Paige is not pregnant. Sarah: She's got a boyfriend. Lori Lynn: You're insane, okay? Just breathe. You're about to get married. Breathe. Breathe. Sarah: Oh, holy crap.
Tommy: Look, come over here. You're gonna be on my left side-- Sarah: Well, why do I have to be on your left side? Why can't I be on your right side? Tommy: It's protocol. Sarah: Protocol? Proto-- damn protocol. Luc's not talking to his mother, his father didn't bother coming, Kitty's throwing up in the bathroom, my daughter's probably pregnant. Kevin: She's not pregnant. I promise. Sarah: Oh, God. Okay. I just-- I need a minute. Kevin: No. Sarah, everybody's waiting. Sarah: Well, they're just gonna have to wait a little bit longer, because right now, my head is full of everybody else's problems, and I don't want to say I do feeling like this, okay? I'm gonna go for a little walk around the block, and I will come right back. Tommy: No. Kevin: S-Sarah.
Sarah: That was quick. No rice, no groom? Brody: It hasn't actually happened yet. I kind of needed a break. Brody: Want a beer? Sarah: I can't believe this. Brody: That's a nice necklace. Sarah: Oh, thanks. It came from my mother's jewelry box. It's my something old. Brody: Mm-hmm. Sarah: She thinks it's tacky. Brody: Hmm. I always kinda liked it. Years ago, I got it from my mom... And gave it to yours. Your mom's the love of my life, you know? Sarah: I'm literally having an out-of-body experience right now. Like I'm... Looking down on us both, and... Brody: What? Sarah: I'm afraid I'm gonna fall. Brody: Oh, I'll catch you. ♪ LA River ♪ by HoneyHoney ♪ Listen Jonathan: Look how fantastic this is. A cupcake pyramid-- it's like their wedding was catered by the Egyptians. Saul: What are you talking about? This is just-- It's--it's not traditional. Jonathan: Oh, come on, Sauly. Where's your sense of humor? Saul: You know what? You and I just don't have the same priorities in life, Jonathan. Jonathan: Oh, for God sake. Marry me, Saul. Saul: You don't believe in marriage. Jonathan: But you do, and I believe in you. Saul: Don't do this unless you mean business, because I might just say yes. Jonathan: Then say it. Saul: Yes.
Luc: Uh, excuse me, everybody. May I have your attention, please? Somebody: Shh. Luc: Thank you. Uh, at this time, I would love to, uh, make a toast to my beautiful wife. But as you all know, English is not my first language, so... Everybody: Ohh. Luc: So instead... Sarah: Mm-hmm. Luc: I would like to do a-a little something else. Sarah: Okay. ♪ Baby, I Need Your Lovin' ♪ by The Four Tops ♪ Listen Luc:♪ Some say it's a sign of weakness ♪ Luc:♪ For a man to beg. ♪ Luc:♪ Then weak I'd rather be ♪ Luc:♪ If it means having you to keep ♪ Luc:♪ 'Cause lately I've been losing sleep. ♪ Boys:♪ Baby I need your loving, ♪ Boys:♪ got to have all your loving. ♪ Boys:♪ Baby I need your loving, ♪ Boys:♪ got to have all your loving. ♪ Boys:♪ Baby I need your loving, ♪ Boys:♪ got to have all your loving ♪ Boys:♪ Baby I need your loving, ♪ Boys:♪ got to have all your loving. ♪ Boys:♪ Baby I need your loving, ♪ Boys:♪ got to have all your loving. ♪ Boys:♪ Baby I need your loving, ♪ Boys:♪ got to have all your loving. ♪ Everybody: Whoo! Minister Mike: You know, of all the weddings I've done, this one was definitely the most-- Kevin: Nearly apocalyptic? Minister Mike: No. There were a few surprises, but trust me, I have seen worse. Kevin: Wait till you see us dance. Excuse me. Uh, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention. As your wedding planner extraordinaire, I'd like you all to turn your focus to the dance floor, where the bride and groom will now take their first dance. ♪ Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters ♪ by Elton John ♪ Listen ♪ Born This Way ♪ by Lady Gaga ♪ Listen Nora: Looking back on it, I kind of think it was the best of times. Families, like life, have a way of changing, never staying the same, but they're your family, this eclectic, deeply bonded group. So you evolve, you adapt. And now... As I look at my life and my new extended family, I think of this wondeul quote by George Eliot. "It's never too late to be what you might have been."
Chely Wright - Damn Liar (in the episode, it's remix)
"Damn Liar (The Remixes) - EP" (2011)
"Damn Liar (Youngjared Remix)" by Chely Wright
Kevin gets a call saying that Olivia ran away.
Lyrics:
Does anybody reall know you?
Can anybody say they truly do?
You swear that you're a hickory tree but
your limbs are loaded down with rotten fruit
You gotta keep on spinnin' around
Never let your worlds collide
'Cause if we all start talkin'
There might be nowhere for you to hide
You're a Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
Damn Liar
How'd you make it this far?
Being a Damn Liar
You Damn Liar
You Damn Liar
That's what you are
Don't you find it all confusing?
Keepin' up with all the tales you tell
You're scared to death that I'll run into
The one before me you put through hell
To you, we're all disposable
and that's exactly what you'll do
You just deleted me 'cause I was onto you
You're a Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
How'd you make it this far?
Being a Damn Liar
You Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
That's what you are
You're a Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
How'd you make it this far?
Being a Damn Liar
You miserable Liar
Damn Liar
That's what you are
Damn Liar
A Damn Liar
You're a Damn Liar
How'd you make it this far?
Damn Liar
You fuckin' Liar
You're a Damn Liar
That's what you are
Scotty: ♪ My Daniel is eating his carrots ♪ Kevin: ♪ My Daniel is eating his peas ♪ Scotty: Yeah, ♪ My Daniel is eating his carrots ♪ Kevin & Scotty: ♪ So eat some more carrots for me ♪ Scotty: Oh! Oh, look at him. He is so adorable. That perfect little nose-- I want to eat it right off his face. Kevin: I think he's gassy. Scotty: Yeah, he is. Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: Oh, you got diapers, right? Kevin: Yeah, they're in the bag with the sippy cups. Scotty: I love when he uses his sippy cup. Kevin: Me, too. Olivia: Hi. Guys, I need to go. Kevin: What? Go where? Hmm? Oh, my God. It's Wednesday soccer practice. Uh, I have a client at 4:00. Can you take her? Scotty: No, no, no, I can't take Daniel in the car. Remember, I don't have the right size car seat. The right one doesn't come until tomorrow. Olivia: I'll just take the bus. Scotty: No. Kevin: You're not gonna take the bus. Olivia: I took the bus lots of times before I lived here. Kevin: Well, maybe, but that was then. This is now. I'll just cancel my client. Olivia: You don't need to do that. Kevin: Yes, I do. Olivia: I'll go get my stuff. Scotty: It's okay. It's okay. You're gonna be okay. I know. I know. Hey, it's okay. Shh, shh, shh. Kitty: Oh, poor Sarah. I mean, can you imagine what she's going through? Kevin: She's tough. She can handle it. Kitty: I don't know. You should've heard her on the phone when she called me. Yes. Oh, yes. You know, Aunt Kitty took the red-eye, and Aunt Kitty does not do red-eyes. And Aunt Kitty doesn't normally leave her son. All the way back east with her boyfriend. That is how worried Aunt Kitty is. Look at you. I know. I know. I hear you. Could you be any cuter? Kevin: No. I mean, every time I look at him, my heart literally wants to jump out of my chest with love. Kitty: Mmmm. Wow, looks like Scotty. Sorry. Kevin: Oh, shut up. You know, I thought I'd feel weird about not being the bio dad. I totally feel like his father. Kitty: Mm. Kevin: I mean, not that I need to tell you that. Kitty: No. I was so meant to be Evan's mother. Kevin: You see? It's all about love. Kitty: I wish Sarah could see it that way. Okay. Okay. Go see your daddy. You take care of Daniel. And I am gonna go take care of Sarah. Kevin: Wave bye-bye. Kitty: Bye-bye. Kevin: Wave bye-bye. Bye, Aunt Kitty. Kevin: Olivia, what were you thinking? This isn't like you. Scotty: You intentionally knocked over someone's food tray? Olivia: She wouldn't let me sit at their table. Scotty: So you knocked over her food? Kevin: Okay. So what are we gonna do about this? So that it doesn't happen again. Olivia: I don't know. Scotty: Okay. No cell phone, no video games for a week. Okay. Olivia, I-I know this is a confusing time for you. It's confusing for all of us. None of us were expecting Daniel in our lives. But if you feel like you need more attention, this is not the way to go about getting it. Olivia: You need to sign it so I can bring it back to my teacher. Kevin: Oh! Olivia, be careful! Scotty: I will deal with that. Olivia: Sorry. Kevin: Don't swing your bag like that. Pick it up. Olivia: You pick it up. ♪ Damn Liar (Youngjared Remix) ♪ by Chely Wright ♪ Listen Justin: They'll understand. Luc, let's go. Kevin: Hi. What? When? No, no, no, no. I'll meet you there. Olivia just, uh, she just showed up at her old group home. She-- she snuck out. She ran away. Kevin: How did you even get here? Olivia: I took the bus. Kevin: Alone at night? Olivia: I told you, I used to do it all the time. Kevin: Olivia, that does not make me feel better. Scotty: Ahhh, Olivia, thank God you are okay. I was worried sick about you. Is she all right? Kevin: Yeah, I think so. Olivia: So who's with Daniel? Scotty: Uncle Saul, but that doesn't matter right now. What matters right now is you. Olivia, you are never, ever to leave the house without letting us know where you are going, ever. Is that clear? Kevin: Okay, sweetheart, we know things have been crazy at home, and that hasn't been fair to you, but we're gonna solve this problem, but we're gonna solve it as a family. You are as important to us as Daniel. Do you understand that? Olivia: Why? He was your first choice, and now you have him. Kevin: But we found you. Somehow life brought all four us together, and that is not gonna change. Olivia: But you don't need me anymore. Scotty: Hey, Olivia, I think we need you more than ever. Kevin: Yeah. Scotty: 'Cause, you know, the thing about Daniel is, he is in a brand-new home, sleeping in a brand-new bed, meeting all these new people. Does that remind you of anyone? You're the only one who really knows how he feels. So-- help us show him that we're his family. And that we're not going anywhere-- Ever. Do you think you can do that?
"Days Like This" by Over The Rhine
Olivia gives Kevin the rock she found for him
Kevin gets a phone call from Justin.
Lyrics:
Days like this
You look up at the sky above you
Days like this
You think about the ones that love you
All I wanna do is live my life honestly;
I just wanna wake up and see your face next to me
Every regret I have I will go set it free
It will be good for me
Days like this
You think about the ones who went before you
Days like this
Have you ever seen the sky such a clear blue
All I wanna do is live my life honestly
I just wanna wake up and see your face next to me
Every regret I have I will go set it free
It will be good for me
Days like this
You think about the ones who love you
Days like this
Have you ever seen the sky such a clear blue
"Dig With Me" by Allie Moss
Kevin tells his mother that Brody might be agonizing over whether Sarah will ever know that she's his daughter
Justin & Scotty talk about the situation with Michelle until Olivia returns home
Sarah tries to convince her mother to go on the cruise.
Lyrics:
What gave me away
Was it my face
It's written on there clear as day isn't it
Well, that's one thing that's still the same
And I won't lie to you love
I'm not okay
I've already spent too much time hiding that
And that's one thing that hasn't changed
Passions I laid to rest may still have some life in them
So dig, dig with me
Let's raise this thing from the dead
And breathe some life in it
Believe with me
We always say that we know how
To make light of what's heaviest somehow
Tell me that's one thing that hasn't changed
Sarah: Damn Kevin! You know, he clearly said he wanted to organize our wedding, and I know this thing has tabs, but you can't just hand me a ring binder and then go AWOL! Look, I still have two fittings for my dress, confirm numbers with the caterer, get programs printed, finalize, order flowers-- I mean, Kevin was supposed to do most of this. Luc: I can help you. It's fine. Sarah: No, you can't. You have your own tab. Luc: Wow. Well, maybe someone else can rejuvenate with your mom. Sarah: Who? Kitty and Seth are still in Boston, and if Kevin's gonna help anybody, it's gonna be me. Luc: What about Justin? Sarah: Oh, no. Justin's idea of reviving a spirit-- watching "Ghostbusters." Scotty: Is there any way she could've gotten on another flight? Marissa: Uh, I doubt it. We checked. I think we can safely assume she left the airport as soon as she knew you'd spotted her with the baby. Kevin: She ran like a thief, which, of course, she is. Marissa: Unfortunately, the law hasn't kept up with the science of these 3-party surrogate births. To us it's kidnapping, but the police treat it - as a custody issue. Kevin: That's insane. I mean, she's not even the egg donor. She is not genetically related to that baby in any way. She lied to us about the miscarriage. She took our money. She stole our baby! Believe me, I know plenty of people in the D.A.'s office. I will find the criminal statute to charge her with. Scotty: Are you saying that the police are giving up? Marissa: Let's just say, it's not their top priority. Kevin: But that's why we have you. Marissa: And I will do everything I can, but I want you to be realistic. After three days, the odds are not with us. She could be anywhere, and if she's gone back to New York, then it gets more complicated and expensive. I'm not licensed there. I'd have to hire somebody to do the legwork for me-- Kevin: So hire someone. Just keep going. Marissa: Okay. I, um... got a copy of the New York state birth certificate this morning, and his date of birth falls right in the correct time frame. Scotty: His? Marissa: Yeah. She had a boy. His name is Daniel. Justin: (Whew. I really thought I knew) Michelle. I mean, I-I liked her. I mean, she seemed normal. I can't believe she would turn into this monster. Kevin: Yeah, well, obviously we never really knew her. She could've been planning this from the beginning. Look, I'm sorry to unload this on you, but I can't face telling the family right now, so I need you to cover with mom and everybody until this mess blows over, which might be never. Justin: Okay. Kevin: Are you all right? Justin: Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm fine. I just, um... Any time you wanna talk, I'm-- I'm here to listen. Kevin: Thank you. Justin: Except now. Hey, mom. Nora: Hi. Listen, I didn't get it! Luc came in, and I panicked, so you have to go back over there. Justin: I can't. I'm busy. Nora: Where are you? Justin: I'm at Kevin and Scotty's... Kevin: I'm not here. I'm not here. Justin: But they're not here. Nora: Well, then what are you doing? Justin: Um... my--my cable went out, - so I'm watching, uh, a hockey game. Nora: Wait a minute. You're too busy watching a hockey game to help me? Justin: Well, it's tied. Nora: Justin, get your butt over to your sister's. I have to go to work. I will see you here later this afternoon, okay? Justin: Fine, mom. Fine. I'll see you soon. Kevin: I'm so sorry to make you go through this charade. Justin: Oh, no. It's, uh, it's okay. Kevin: What does she want? Justin: She wanted me to go over and watch this movie with her. Kevin: Wow. She really is lonely. Justin: So lonely. Scotty: Hey. Jeremy's got the lunch rush under control, thank God. I don't think I could force a smile for another second. Ohh. Kevin: I told Justin. Scotty: Did you make him swear not to tell your family? Kevin: Yes, Scotty. I think he understands the gravity of the situation. Scotty: What'd he say? Kevin: He said he thought she should be in jail for 20 years, minimum. He also called her a monster. Scotty: I don't believe that. She's not an evil person. Kevin, neither of us knows what it's like to carry a baby inside our bodies. Kevin: I'm--I'm sorry. I can't listen to this. We have a son, Scotty. It says here "father unknown," which is a lie. It also says his name is Daniel, which is not the name we chose, but Michelle's father's name. Our son doesn't know we exist. What more is it gonna take until you are angry at her? Scotty: I am angry, but it doesn't make me feel better to hate her. Kevin: I'm sorry. Scotty: It's okay. Look, Kevin, we've gotta pull it together before Olivia gets home. Kevin: I know. I know. I forgot to tell you, she texted me a couple of minutes ago. Scotty: Really? I didn't get one from her. Kevin: Well, check your phone. I'm sure she's written something to you, too. "Saw a baby deer"-- three exclamation points. "Paige 'n' I 'r' 'n' the same tent." Scotty: I miss her. Kevin: So do I. Bet she's having a great time. Scotty: Yeah. Kevin: What did she say? Scotty: Uh, it's-- it's not from her. It's, uh, Jeremy. He needs me back downstairs. Kevin: Well, don't worry. I'm sure she's writing you a long text - about skunks or something. Scotty: Yeah, I'll, um, I'll s-- I'll send her something from downstairs.
Saul: Kevin? Where's Scotty? Kevin: I don't know. What do you need? Saul: Nothing. I don't need anything. I just stopped by to gather up some snacks to bring over there. The rehearsal. Kevin: Oh, my God. Saul: You forgot? Kevin: Yeah. Completely. Saul: Well, it's okay. Don't worry. I'll wait for you. Come on. Kevin: Uh, y--uh, you know what? Saul, I'm so sorry. Um, Scotty and I-- we've got a lot going on right now. I don't-- I don't think we can do it. Saul: The rehearsal or the whole thing? Kevin: I'm sorry. Saul: Both of you? Kevin, what is more important than your sister? Kevin: Saul, I don't know. Saul: Okay. You--you--you need to tell me what is going on with you. Kevin: I... I'm just tired. Saul: And that's it? That's all you're gonna tell me, that you're "just tired"? Kevin: But it's--it's the truth. Saul: I-- okay, I give up. I give up. Nora won't talk to me about Brody, I try to help Luc and Sarah, and they don't want to hear any of it, and you look like the world is coming to an end, and you tell me that all you need is a nap. Okay. Kevin: Saul, can you please-- Saul: N-no. You know what? You take care of your business. I'll take care of mine. Michelle: I'm so sorry, Scotty. Scotty: You didn't bring Daniel. Michelle: How do you know his name? Please, Scotty, tell me that you did not call the police. Scotty: Michelle, did you honestly think we wouldn't try to find you? Michelle: That's why I called you. I know that what I did was wrong, but I thought if you and I could talk, we could figure out a solution without getting the police involved, but, Scotty, I can't bring Daniel unless I know that I can trust you. Scotty: That's pretty presumptuous of you, lecturing me about trust. Michelle: I'm so sorry, Scotty. Scotty: Michelle, I-I believe that you're sorry, but... you have to let us see him. Michelle: I can't. I'm afraid you'll have me arrested. Scotty: We won't. I promise. Michelle: Scotty, I swear, if you try to take him away, I will disappear again. I am his mother, and he needs me. Scotty: Okay, Michelle, don't run away, okay? We can work something out. We care about both you and Daniel, and we forgive you. Michelle: You really think that Kevin will understand? Scotty: Of course. We want what's best for Daniel. That's what you want, isn't it? Michelle: I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder anymore? Scotty: No. You're safe. Kevin: Oh, uh, no. There's no news. I just-- I could use some company this morning. That's all. Justin: Actually, bro, I'm so sorry. I can't. I'm running this stupid errand for mom, and it's... it's kinda time-sensitive, but, look, I'm here if you want to talk. Kevin: Oh, hang on. That's Scotty's phone. Justin: You need to get it? Kevin: Yeah, it might be Olivia calling from big bear. Justin: All right, listen, we'll set something up for later. I'll call you when I'm done with mom. Kevin: Okay. Bye. Hello. Michelle: Hi. It's Michelle. Scotty? Kevin: Uh, no, this is Kevin. Michelle: Um... Kevin, I-I'm sorry. I-I told, um, Scotty I was gonna call him today. Kevin: Well, Scotty isn't here right now, so, um, what did-- what did you want to talk about? Michelle: Maybe I should call back. Kevin: No. No, because whatever it is you-- you wanted to say, you can say to me. Where are you? Michelle: I-I can't tell you that. That is not part of the deal that I made with Scotty. Kevin: You made a deal with Scotty? Would you like to tell me what that was? Michelle: I thought he told you. Kevin: No, he didn't, so why don't you tell me, Michelle? Michelle: Scotty and I decided to do what's best for Daniel. I-I'm his mother, so I need to stay involved. Kevin: No, you're not, Michelle. You're our son's gestational surrogate. You're not even genetically related... So there's no deal that will allow you to keep our baby. Michelle: Scotty swore to me that you understood. Kevin: No, what I understand is, that is my baby crying, so why don't you tell me where you are before you get into more trouble than you're already in, Michelle?! Scotty: Kevin, don't. Kevin: No. Scotty! Scotty! Scotty! Scotty: Michelle? Michelle? Michelle? Mich-- What is wrong with you? I was setting up a meeting. I was going to get him back. Kevin: Apparently you've already had a meeting! Why didn't you tell me you were negotiating with her?! Scotty: Because she called me! Kevin: Scotty, he is my son, too! Why didn't you tell me?! Scotty: Because I knew you would screw it up, like you just did! I thought if I showed her a little understanding, she would bring him back safely. Now we may never find him! Kevin: You are absolutely right! Absolutely! So good luck living with that!
Justin: Are you sure you want to open that? Nora: Yes. I want to get it over with. Justin: Oh, no. Nora: Positive. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Justin: Wait. Wh-wh-- what are you gonna do? I mean, how-- how do you even handle this? Nora: I don't know. Is there ever a good time to tell your daughter something like this? But certainly it's not now, not right before her wedding. Justin: What--what the hell are you talking about, mom? You can't keep something like this from Sarah. Nora: Yes, I can. Justin. I can. Justin: Well, count me out. Count me out, mom. I've told you this before. There is no way you can expect me to lie to Sarah's face like this. Nora: Justin, please. Don't go all wobbly on me now. This is not exactly an easy piece of information for me to digest, so if I can, you can. I mean, what am I gonna say to Sarah, "guess what, honey? Surprise!" Justin: Surprise? You want a surprise, mom? Sarah's about to take you on a Mexican cruise so you can spend 24 hours a day talking about how much nasty old Brody broke your heart. Nora: What? Justin: Yeah, so how are you gonna look Sarah in the face for three days, mom, and not tell her the truth? Nora: When did you know about this cruise? Justin: Mom, it doesn't matter when I knew about this! Nora: You should have told me. You don't tell me anything! Justin: Mom, you're missing the whole point of this! Kevin: Sorry, mom. I didn't know you were here. Nora: Kevin, are you all right? What's wrong? Kevin: I'm fine. Nora: Justin. Justin: What, mom? I didn't tell him anything! Nora: Shh! Justin: I haven't told anybody any-- you know, listen, I'm sick of this! Kevin, you need to tell mom what's going on. Mom, you need to tell Kevin about Sarah. Everybody in this family needs to start telling each other the truth! Nora: Not now! Justin: Yes, mom, now! Right now! Kevin, mom and I did a D.N.A. test behind Sarah's back, and mom doesn't want to tell her that Brody's her father. And, mom, Michelle lied. She did not have a miscarriage. Kevin has a son, and you have a grandson. Kevin: Shh Justin: Nobody knows where he is. People need to talk! Why don't you two start?
Nora: Remind me to never get really emotional news at Justin's house ever again. Kevin: Yeah, the strongest thing he's got back there is white wine vinegar. Nora: Wanna try a little of that? Kevin: Sure. I'm in. Poor Sarah. Nora: Poor you. Poor Scotty. Kevin: Sarah gained a father. We lost a son. Nora: Don't say that. There's always hope. Kevin: Oh, mom, I've been through this. I'm scared to hope. Nora: Well, then I'll hope for you. Kevin: At least there's one bright spot in all this. Nora: What? Kevin: Well, it seems Brody really does love you. Nora: Yeah, like I could take any great pleasure in that right now. Kevin: Why not? Maybe you could pick up where you left off. Nora: I don't even know what to think. Kevin: But you are gonna contact him and tell him about Sarah, aren't you? Nora: I don't know. Kevin: Mom, I've just spent the last three nights lying awake agonizing over the fact that my son might never know who I am or that I'm his father. Maybe Brody feels the same way. ♪ Dig With Me ♪ by Allie Moss ♪ Listen Justin: Come on. Don't worry. He'll be home soon. Scotty: Oh, yeah. No, I'm sure you're right. Was he yelling when you saw him? I know he's in good shape, but I-I worry about his blood pressure. Justin: He was not yelling. He did look sad... Scotty: Oh. Justin: And so do you, so, Scotty, this is your lucky day, because I just off-loaded most of my worry quota, so I'm 100% available to listen. Scotty: Okay, this is the second time we've lost this baby. And he's our son. We can't give up on him, but we can't-- we can't keep putting ourselves through this. Olivia: Honey, I'm home. Scotty: Where did you learn that? Ohh! I have been waiting for you all day. Olivia: Hi, Uncle Justin. Justin: What's up, dudette? Ohh. Scotty: Come here. I want to hear all about your trip. Justin: What do you got there? Olivia: Paige said if you give someone a rock from wherever you go that it's kinda like the person was there with you Scotty: That is so sweet. Thank you. Mwah. Olivia: Let's go give Kevin his. Scotty: Uh, he's not home, honey. Justin: Um, let me see that. This is, uh, this is the one you're gonna give Kevin? Olivia: Yeah. Justin: Well, this is perfect. You know why? Olivia: Why? Justin: Because this looks just like the shape of his head. Scotty & Olivia: Hhhhh Justin: Shh. Don't tell him. Sarah: You've gotta love a family whose response to a paternity crisis and a kidnapping is food and wine. Luc: Thank you. Nora: Well, we have to keep our strength up. Saul: Yes, and your chicken is the ultimate comfort food, honey. Sarah: Mm-hmm. Nora: Yeah, well, I think maybe this time - we're asking too much of this poor little chicken. Sarah: No. Never. Kevin: Scotty sends his love. Sarah: Ohh. Nora: Are you guys okay? Kevin: Yeah, we'll get there, but, uh, more importantly, Olivia's back from big bear, so I think I'm gonna take off. Nora: I want you to take some of these cookies to her. Luc: Oh. Should we call Justin and ask him if he wants to have dinner? Sarah: Yeah. Nora: No, I think we should just leave him alone. I think he's had quite enough family fun for the time being. Sarah: Good. More chicken for me. Saul: Oh, I can't believe that you still have an appetite. Sarah: I know. Dad always used to say that he and I could just eat our way through anything. Oh, come on. Please don't go weird on me. I'm still gonna talk about dad. Nothing's changed. It's-- it's just some new information on a piece of paper. It's like when mom made the gravy from the cornstarch instead of the flour. The ingredients change, but it's still gravy, okay? You're still my family. Luc and I are still getting married. William is still my father, and Brody is still some guy I knew for a while. Luc: So you don't want to explore your relationship with him? Sarah: No. No. I-I had a dad. I had a great dad, and if I ever need another one, I've got a pretty good stand-in right here. Saul: Really? Even though I sometimes overstep my boundaries? Sarah: Oh, come on. I love that you worry about me. Saul: Thanks, angel. Sarah: The way I see it, Brody lied to mom the day I was born. He made it crystal clear that he didn't want either of us in his life-- not then and not now. And you know what, Brody? The feeling is mutual. ♪ Days Like This ♪ by Over The Rhine ♪ Listen Scotty: Wow. Another masterpiece. Olivia: Now it'll be like I'm sleeping by the campfire, but in my bed. Scotty: Okay, well, it is bedtime, little camper. Olivia: Kevin! Kevin: Aah! Olivia: You missed me so much. Kevin: I know I did! Mwah. Olivia: Oh. I got you this rock. I know it doesn't sound like a good present, but really it is. Kevin: I will love this forever and call it Herman. Olivia: Herman? That's a weird name. Oh, you know what else is weird? Kevin: What? Olivia: Sometimes when the wind would blow the campfire smoke where we were sitting... Kevin: Yeah. Olivia: Cooper said if you close your eyes and say, "I love rabbits. I love rabbits," then the smoke would blow the other way. I didn't believe it, but it worked. Kevin: What?! Scotty: That's crazy. Kevin: Ooh. Speaking of crazy, it's your Uncle Justin. Olivia: He said your head looks like a rock. Kevin: Did you say my head looks like a rock? You're where? Olivia: Can I draw one more picture before bed? Kevin: All right. Just tell me. What did mom say now? Justin: She came to the house and put him in my arms and left. Kevin: Oh, my God. Scotty: Kevin? Kevin: She just left him with Justin. Scotty: Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Kevin: Shh, shh, shh. Justin: Oh. Guys. Olivia: Whose baby is that?
